I cant stand the thought of him eventually getting with anyone else...

[xbabycakes]

Six weeks ago now, my first love, my world, my everything left me and I took it really bad but to be honest I thought he was going to start thinking how much of a mistake he made and come crawling back, and whilst we met up a couple of times him holding holding my hand etc but after few times he hasn't asked again & that has now stopped and my hope has gone. I think ive began to get used to moving back to my mums (even tho I hate not being with him every night & morning) but im still not able to do normal things as im feeling so miserable but the whole time hes been out enjoying himself going to party's & clubs but i cant even face walking to the shops!

 

Now all that runs through my head 24/7 is sooner or later hes going to meet someone else and SHE will be in the house we choose & decorated together is going to be sleeping in the bed we choose together & watching the tv we dragged through the rain into his place and basically living my life that I would do anything to have back and its tearing me to pieces, he wasn't just my boyfriend he was my best friend and we done everything together, and now to this, nothing! really really struggling guys :'( we had a short split about 2 years ago but it only lasted a few days and everything went back to normal but now its gone 5 weeks I hate to but I feel this is it.

 

He was a wonderful bf but I guess i got so used to him I never imagined we would be apart and I started arguments quite often. I tried saying sorry and id change and all that at the beginning of the split but he just said he wants & break but then days later he says he just wants to be alone..

 

I just cant imagine being with anyone else... He doesnt have fb or anything soits not like i have an idea what hes doing but people I no have spotted him in clubs just standing in the corner by himself so I dont no why he prefers this than being with someone who gave him everything every little memory keeps running threw my mind and its driving me insane thanks guys x

[OwlSoul]

Bad news.

Giving everything = wrong.

Because giving everything also means demanding the same. Which increases the pressure and the guilty which makes the person feel like he/she is in a trap.

 

People leave relationships because they feel pain/cannot keep lying and etc. So this is probably what has happened to him as well.

 

You seem to focus all your life and expectations around this person. Wrong move! The other person is rather a supporter, an addition to your life, than the part of yours.

 

Good news.

If you'd make enough efforts to destroy this pattern of taking the other person as the major reason to be happy, you'll increase your chances of getting back together.

 

I do believe love never dies, but is buried under the relationship dynamics Btw, if your intuition says he'll be back, then it's most likely to happen. If it says it's over, then it is.

 

Take NC. Get yourself gathered. Hobbies, job, friends, familly, anything you've been neglecting. Make a list of only negative things about your ex and etc. Try to get free out of this trap of idealizing him.

 

So yup, the best way of getting back is to calm down, get more indifferent and etc.