NeillB Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I have been with my ex fiancee on/off for 5yrs, We broke up about 6 months ago and the break up was because of her needing a break I in no way wanted that, Long story short, She moved out but neither of us dated anyone since and to be honest for me no one compares to her. She surprised me last week when I got a knock on the door, she had no place to stay and asked if she could crash at my place till she got herself on her feet which is ok with me because I love having her around, Im a touring musician & I always loved having her with me, she recently started to a lot of our shows again and previously she has come with me over Europe, Just being with her is enough for me. The night she arrived we were watching tv she asked me about my love life and asked if i had anyone on my mind lately I said "No, not really just you. I've been thinking about how hot you are.", She laughed & called me an idiot then snuggled into me and said she may stay cause everything she needs is right here. After my bands show last week I was talking to two chicks and spotted her sitting at the bar with our friend & she kept staring at me then walked up to me and put her arms around me, kissed me and stayed there til they left, When we got back to my place we had sex and have been very regularly since, Most times during sex she tells me shes in love with me but then she acts distant with me when out with our friends, When I try to confront her on whats happening with us she always somehow manages to dodge giving me an answer. I just wish that she will settle for me I really believe that I could make her happy if she gave me a chance. I've fallen hard for her all over again and I cant go through losing her again. Any advice on how best to handle this if possible?
Object_a Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Having had a similar experience myself all I can recommend is getting her out of your life somehow, and fast. She should have moved on but she won't because you're making it easier for her to stay with you than strike out on her own. What needs to happen is she needs to get her situation squared away and start living independently, and you need to back away from getting too invested, because it will hurt you all over again when she eventually moves on. She is just leaning on you in a time of need, nothing more.
InJest Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Don't be so whiny. Jeez! Have sex with her, but also see other girls. Don't get attached emotionally. That's a turnoff, especially in your situation. Either **** her, and go to sleep, and wait for her to contact you, or don't **** her if you can't handle that. She wants to be treated like ****, oblige her.
glynnroy Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Be very very careful ! Why all of a sudden had she turned up ,this could do allot of damage if she wants to break up again and go her separate ways for a while until she gets bored . No contact is always the way to go , you've got to Ask The question why she's back around again and why She left ! Was there any one else in the background , I'm saying this as the break wasn't mutual
Cutiepie1976 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 What you have right now is a dysfunctional dead end. It's going nowhere. My advice: cut ties and get on with your life. She's like the dog in the manger. She doesn't really want a relationship with you, but she also doesn't want anyone else to have you. If you allow it, you'll stagnate for years in limbo. Find someone who wants the same things you do--mutual love and a mutually satisfying relationship with you that meets both your needs, not just hers. Unfortunately, until you are completely free of your ex, that will never happen.
mortensorchid Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 You have been engaged to be married to this girl for 5 YEARS and you have yet to marry her? Why? If it's finance, go to the justice of the peace and get it done. If it's not that, then there is something odd about this whole set up. Either do it (get married) or break it off completely.
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