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She's broken up with her ex/new partner. I don't want her back, but I think about her


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Posted

I've written before about an ex before - we had a super intense relationship that would have been long-distance. She was full of how I was the most perfect man she had ever met. Anyway, after a short while, she went back to an ex, who she had told me it was a disaster.

 

Anyway, I think about her a lot, and for a long time I was holding out hope that she would realise she'd made a mistake. I've met someone else, and although I'm not still over my ex, I have so much fun with my new girl - she smiles so much, she's lovely - I may have the intense mad love I had for this ex, but I think that's quite probably a good thing - I'm taking it slowly with this new girl, which I think is sensible.

 

Now, my ex has written to me to tell me she's broken up with her partner, and now she's got a fantastic job opportunity that will take her from the west coast to the east coast. (she has to tell me how big the salary is, which I find vulgar). On one hand, I admire her for how hard she works, and that she's got the bravery to go for these things. At the same time, I'm annoyed that she threw what chance we had away for the ex that everyone knew was a disaster.

 

I don't want her back, and I don't trust her, and I think she's probably playing with me, but I still think about her - I see her having upset me, this other bloke, and she will just swan off into the sunshine with a new job, without a second glance.

Posted

Good for you on finding a new girl. I hope it works out with you guys. Just forget about your ex. And don't reply to her messages. Did she ask for you back? If she didn't then she was probably just trying to rub it in at how well she is doing without you. And if she did ask you back, you would never be able to trust her again and she would most likely split on you for a different ex after a few months. So it's best to just wipe her from your mind best you can and make the best of what you've got now, which is probably 100 times better.

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Posted

No, she hasn't asked for me back, and to be honest, I don't think she wants me back - she'll go off to this new place, and some other poor chap will fall for her.

 

I just want to get her out of mind, as I do recognise she's not a particularly nice person - or rather, I think she's insecure (but then, who isn't?), and it means she uses people to get what she wants.

 

The backstory is that she's from Eastern Europe, and when she moved to the US as a student. Within a few years, she has married her professor, (and gets a green card in the process). After their short marriage and divorce, which she instigated once she got a new job, she moved to a new town, she meets this new guy. Now's she's got a new job, she's off again. I might be being unfair here, but it seems she's a user

Posted
Good for you on finding a new girl. I hope it works out with you guys. Just forget about your ex. And don't reply to her messages. Did she ask for you back? If she didn't then she was probably just trying to rub it in at how well she is doing without you. And if she did ask you back, you would never be able to trust her again and she would most likely split on you for a different ex after a few months. So it's best to just wipe her from your mind best you can and make the best of what you've got now, which is probably 100 times better.

 

Agree with the above, and I suggest you block her email. What an obnoxious breadcrumb for her to toss your way! :mad:

 

My advice is to cut her off completely. Without information and "friendly" updates to feed your imagination, the memory of her and her using ways will fade. For now, enjoy the company of your new lady. :)

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Posted

I think that's what I need to do - cut her off - she's just hard work, and I don't need her in my life

Posted

Yeah. You need to focus on your current relationship. If you are constantly thinking about your ex, it will certainly affect your new relationship. Don't let the memories of your ex affect something good that you have now.

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Posted

Thanks, I think today has just been a "bad day" where I was thinking about my ex a lot

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