When will he call for second date?

[claire5791]

Hello. I recently met someone with whom I've communicated briefly via an online dating site. It was somewhat of a blind date, as neither of us had exchanged pics previously.

 

Because of the nature of this meeting, I played it conservative, showing interest more through eye contact, smiling, listening, being easy-going, etc. than anything physical. He also seemed interested, doing many of the same things, and also asked to extend the date beyond dinner and wine - we went elsewhere for a shared dessert and some coffee. We talked for hours about a lot of topics, including careers, family, religion, even wanting children (he brought these up) - things that are generally too "heavy" in nature for first dates, but I handled as well as I could. Towards the end of the date (I was alarmed by the time and had to get going), he did show some other signs of interest physically by touching and lightly massaging by back in a few separate instances. When he walked me back to my car, he gave me a hug - did not try for a kiss - and said "I think we should do this again sometime" - I agreed and said good-night.

 

I have to admit that bothered me that during the date he made no reference to my appearance, as I am used to men complimenting me concerning my attractiveness. Because of this and also the nature of the date (blind), I may not have clearly communicated my interest level in him (I acted every bit the lady), so I sent him a brief, friendly note the next day thanking him for dinner (he insisted on paying). I told him I had a great evening, and ended it just as quickly, wishing him a good weekend. I did not reference meeting again, but was upbeat and friendly enough to keep the door open.

 

He is a very busy professional, however in the past three weeks we've communicated (email and phone) before our meeting, he has been fairly prompt in keeping in touch, even with a crazy schedule. Is he playing a waiting game or is this just a really clear sign of disinterest I don't seem to see? Do guys have certain timetable "rules" when it comes to communicating in getting to know someone / beginning dating (such as not communicating on weekends)? Although sparks weren't flying, they were definitely starting to ignite, at least enough to warrant a second date, as he eluded. He is very different from other men I've dated (smarter and certainly less smooth, almost kind of shy), and I am used to having a second date lined up by the end of the first and knowing they are definitely interested in me; this is different, so I am unsure what to expect. I feel incredibly ridiculous asking this, but what SHOULD I expect for communication following a blind, internet date? I am not waiting by the phone (yes, I have a life), its just new territory for me, that's all.

 

Advice, please...

 

Claire

[mighty bop]

Well this guy already suggested a second date. Since he suggested it, wait for him to contact you. Just because he did not make a comment about your appearance does not mean he wasn't attracted to you. When was this date again? If he doesn't try to contact you within 2 weeks, he was not really serious.

 

Chris

[Claire5791]

Chris,

 

The date was only last Thursday - that's why I said I am not necessarily stressing out about it. I just wanted an idea of how long IN GENERAL to wait to expect a call back; the two week window you mentioned is helpful - thanks for providing. Further, I am aware his job is demanding and he works odd hours (ER doc), so I am are of/ sensitive to that as well.

 

I won't keep you long, but just a couple other questions:

1. Do men appreciate a followup note such as the one I sent? I wanted him to know I did have fun and thanked him for dinner. I hope it doesn't seem to pushy. (?)

2. Do you think its strange he was adamant about discussing if I want to / plan to have children (in general)? It wasn't the first time it came up (actually, that was in an email), but he kept persisting about it. I am thirty, and kind of sensitive to the topic, as most of my friends are currently married and having children. I am open to and would like to someday have a family, but find it awkward to admit to a guy I hardly know who really wants these things that I do as well. I may have come across as defensive due to sensitivity/age and not knowing how to be honest about this; I didn't want to seem too career-focused (which any single girl should be while single) or the very opposite, as if I was chasing a physician (the guy must have to deal with women like this sometimes, I'm sure).

 

Thanks for your thoughts; its so easy to start second-guessing myself in my own mind.

 

Claire

[white_angelbreath]

Girl,

 

if the guy is interested, he'll call..

 

but if not, then don't bother waiting.

 

Sometimes it takes weeks or even months, in my case years, for a guy to call again.