targaryen Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 OK, I'll admit it. I sometimes still check her blog as it sometimes offers rare glimpses into what she's doing, feeling, and thinking. I did this knowing full well that eventually I'll find out she's out and dating again - and that it would hurt. Sure thing, this morning before work I checked it and the latest post was about the difference between 'serious' dating of the committed, crazy about a person type and dating of the just getting coffee and having fun kind. She says she wants the last one, and 'barely even that' but asks her readers why does she feel guilty about it. Why did I keep checking the blog weekly? I preferred that to being kept in the dark. It seemed the perfect way of keeping tabs without her knowing. So I was surprised when I got confirmation that she IS now dating people - two months after the break up - I'm neither surprised, nor hurt. In fact, I kind of feel better about letting the whole thing go and moving on. For the first two hours I agonised about whether she's feeling guilty because of me (since I represent four years of serious dating) and whether the post actually means she had a date or simply planning to. But then I realised, it has nothing to do with me. If it did, she would have been in touch very easily. I also don't know any of the surrounding facts around the blog post having kept NC in every aspect except for the occasional peek at her blog. Anyway, now that I know this, I feel better almost - ready to find my own purpose, and strong enough to stop checking the blog. Maybe the reason I was doing so was to find this post or similiar and finally be ready to cut my losses. Maybe I draw my strength, motivation and future focus from external factors rather than the 'drawing from your inner strength' cliche advice. In any case, while I wouldn't advise it to everyone, in my case it seems like confirmation that my ex has moved on to other things is going to be helpful for doing so myself - and not as painful as I thought it would be.
SuperGeek Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I would stop 'checking up on her' as eventually you're going to read something that absolutely levels you. She is going to blog post one day about the amazing mind blowing night she had with some guy or something even worse (trust me it will happen). Prepare yourself for a huge hit if you keep reading what she is typing. She probably already knows you're looking at her blog if she checks the website traffic log files. This is why I believe it's so much harder to get over someone. The internet makes it very hard to move on as it takes a lot of will power not to type a few keywords into a internet browser to satisfy curiosity about the ex. Before the internet, people broke up and just moved on with no 'glimpse' into the life of a past ex-lover. SuperGeek 2
AKisBaked Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 What Supergeek said is true, I myself was doing this also, "checking" up on my ex to see what she is up to such as if there new pictures of her or if she updated something, and really its not a good idea because one day if she posts something that you don't like it, your going to go into RAGE mode and your going to be stressing out like a m*therf*cker. Try to not go onto her fb, twitter or whatever you have access to because it will only keep you in the past and prevent you from moving on.
steveT95 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 When I first started dating my now ex girlfriend (sigh, the memories) her ex who she hadn't been apart from that long saw that she posted on her blog that she was going on a date (even though then it was nothing serious) and he flipped out. He hurt her a lot which wasn't fair but I imagine it was a small reflection of how much he was hurting.
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