Exi Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Hi all, I broke up with my boyfriend 1.5 months ago. He said he wants us to talk about it and needs time to decide. We officially broke up on the 25th of Feb. There are a list of reasons I broke up with him: 1) I felt that he is distancing away from me 2) I suspect that he liked another girl. He mention her to me a couple of times and told me she's really pretty, etc. He even showed me some of their text messages...my instinct told me he likes her and I was stupidly thinking why don't I just let him go and let him find his happiness...I don't want to put more feelings into this relationship and then one day he decides to dump me. 3) We are not on the same level in life; me being in college..him starting his career 4) Just thought maybe he is just used to having me around, but he does not know that he is actually slowly losing feelings for me I really don't know his side of the story...never talked about it. I didn't mentioned these things to him. =( Just told him I wanted a break. He thought I left because he doesn't have time for me...and he wished that I will find someone better. I MISSED HIM TERRIBLY AFTER THE BREAK UP. THOUGHT ABOUT ALL THE MOMENTS WE SHARED. FAST FORWARD A MONTH, STILL THINK ABOUT HIM DAILY. He did hit me up several times after the break up and text me like nothing had happened...called me old nicknames. The conversations were semi-awkward and I guess he decided to stop texting me..never replied to my last message (I told a while to reply and he probably got the wrong idea) What I am asking...To let go or not? I think I love this guy more than I thought I did. It's hard for me to move on and I cried my eyes out after the break up. Regretted every part of it. Yes, I do have pursuers but I don't want to go out with anyone right now. Will I ever move on??
CompleteFailure Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I MISSED HIM TERRIBLY AFTER THE BREAK UP. THOUGHT ABOUT ALL THE MOMENTS WE SHARED. FAST FORWARD A MONTH, STILL THINK ABOUT HIM DAILY. What I am asking...To let go or not? I think I love this guy more than I thought I did. It's hard for me to move on and I cried my eyes out after the break up. Regretted every part of it. Yes, I do have pursuers but I don't want to go out with anyone right now. Will I ever move on?? So you left him because you thought he might be interested in someone else and you decided to let him go instead of waiting for the possible end? I think that was a mistake, and probably shows your own insecurities more than anything. If the relationship was good and you are happy with yourself, take the chance. Will you ever move on? Yes, but only if you want to. You're still young and what you think you want right now is going to change as you keep growing.
Author Exi Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 So you left him because you thought he might be interested in someone else and you decided to let him go instead of waiting for the possible end? I think that was a mistake, and probably shows your own insecurities more than anything. If the relationship was good and you are happy with yourself, take the chance. Will you ever move on? Yes, but only if you want to. You're still young and what you think you want right now is going to change as you keep growing. I guess I was sad and disappointed. If he did love me, he would have tried harder to get me back.... I guess part of me wanted to break up and see how he will react, to see if he really doesn't care anymore. Seems like it when he told me we should split, but then he acted so caring and his messages after is giving me mixed signals. Especially when he then stopped texting. I don't want it to be too late and have him forget me...but I'm the one who break up with him and I really don't have the rights to get him back. And it hurts so much knowing that he might have love another girl. My friend said if he's hiding something, he won't have showed me their text messages, but still, my feelings are almost always right.
Amelie1980 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I guess I was sad and disappointed. If he did love me, he would have tried harder to get me back.... I guess part of me wanted to break up and see how he will react, to see if he really doesn't care anymore. Seems like it when he told me we should split, but then he acted so caring and his messages after is giving me mixed signals. Especially when he then stopped texting. I don't want it to be too late and have him forget me...but I'm the one who break up with him and I really don't have the rights to get him back. And it hurts so much knowing that he might have love another girl. My friend said if he's hiding something, he won't have showed me their text messages, but still, my feelings are almost always right. Are you kidding?! I hate this mindset from dumpers ....is it common? You dumped him and you're upset that he didn't try and get you back? I didn't know that when I was dumped and had my heart torn out I was supposed to beg plead and grovel to make them realise how much I care!!!! 4
siankat Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 didnt she say that he said they should split but she made the final decision? and i am the dumper in my case but sometimes u cannot go on with the way things are and in my case it was cos he was looking for other girls (dunno if an ego boost or more but claimed he was single) and so i broke it off but i feel like i was the one rejected. anyway i thought if he really wanted me he would explain his motivations or something...
Author Exi Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 didnt she say that he said they should split but she made the final decision? and i am the dumper in my case but sometimes u cannot go on with the way things are and in my case it was cos he was looking for other girls (dunno if an ego boost or more but claimed he was single) and so i broke it off but i feel like i was the one rejected. anyway i thought if he really wanted me he would explain his motivations or something... The situation is: I brought up the break up subject, he thought about it, and decided it was the best for both of us, or in his words me. There are no positive evidence that he liked that girl, but my guts feeling is accurate 90% of the time. I was a bit devastated and decided to let go...and now realizes what a stupid, dumb move that was.
ThatJustHappened Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Dumping him just to see if he'll come back is very risky, and very immature. It seems like you might not be ready for a relationship right now..if you're still in school then you're still very young. Go have some fun, and worry about relationships later.
KraftDinner Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I think breaking up with him was the right thing to do. You're just having the doubts/panic that are to be expected. OP, he was distancing himself from you. That is NEVER okay. Staying with him would give you nothing but anxiety.
Author Exi Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 I think breaking up with him was the right thing to do. You're just having the doubts/panic that are to be expected. OP, he was distancing himself from you. That is NEVER okay. Staying with him would give you nothing but anxiety. Honestly, I realized that it is my own insecurities. He didn't do anything wrong, and he is just texting with her...which I do not have any right to stop him from doing. I do not have any right to stop him from making friends. But I did missed him a lot, and I was wondering if there is anything I can do up to this point or I got to move on?
siankat Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 you are panicking cos u think maybe u made a mistake but i know it was subtle but i think if you had stayed...more stuff would have played out that would have hurt you. im sorry
Recommended Posts