CARL45 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 I've been cold approaching for severely months and feel I've gotten the hang of it. When I first started I cared about numbers and dates, but over time I have found that this is meaningless. That really in order to become really good with women you have to believe you are attractive and that if your attractive an attractive man stands out. I've had to change my body language in order to achieve a lot of this and I also make a point to be curious about things and ask questions. One thing that has truly helped me in terms of dating is not caring about the date or the number,but enjoying the moment with the woman. This is something that I've found the hardest,but makes a lot of sense when I think about it. When you hide aspects of yourself during a conversation with a women she doesn't get to see all of you then why should she date you. The hardest part for me with that is overcoming the physical barrier with women. I've started giving women when I talk to them high fives and I notice that when your physical with a woman they open up just a little bit more. Even more important women can't really put you in the friend zone now they just leave me. This all interesting to me and really zen like. Has anyone had a similar experience? 6
PhoenixRysing Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 One thing that has truly helped me in terms of dating is not caring about the date or the number,but enjoying the moment with the woman. This is something that I've found the hardest,but makes a lot of sense when I think about it. When you hide aspects of yourself during a conversation with a women she doesn't get to see all of you then why should she date you. This. +1000 I have recently noticed the same. Treat each interaction as sacred and be fully present with the individual. They really get a sense of who you are and how they might fit, they feel connected to, and worse case, no matter the outcome - a good experience has been had by you both. It's positive, uplifting, and may just lead to something more - based on two real people being real together. Good times. 2
Badsingularity Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 The hardest part is when you just get started and have to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Keep it up. As you get more comfortable with interacting with women you will become more and more relaxed and will start being yourself more and as a result you'll become more attractive to women. 3
Estate Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I've been cold approaching for severely months and feel I've gotten the hang of it. When I first started I cared about numbers and dates, but over time I have found that this is meaningless. That really in order to become really good with women you have to believe you are attractive and that if your attractive an attractive man stands out. I've had to change my body language in order to achieve a lot of this and I also make a point to be curious about things and ask questions. One thing that has truly helped me in terms of dating is not caring about the date or the number,but enjoying the moment with the woman. This is something that I've found the hardest,but makes a lot of sense when I think about it. When you hide aspects of yourself during a conversation with a women she doesn't get to see all of you then why should she date you. The hardest part for me with that is overcoming the physical barrier with women. I've started giving women when I talk to them high fives and I notice that when your physical with a woman they open up just a little bit more. Even more important women can't really put you in the friend zone now they just leave me. This all interesting to me and really zen like. Has anyone had a similar experience? Well done man. Good to see someone posting on here who is willing to put in the effort over time to achieve what he wants. Great to hear, kep it up and hope you keep on improving. It's all experience and its like anything in life, a skill you only get better with, with practice. The thing most guys on here miss is when they talk about the "naturally gifted guys"... those guys were doing this from a young age, meeting people, talking to them, being social from an early age... whatever environment they grew up with let it flourish, some people just need to come out of their shell when they get a little older. Well done again man. 2
ThaWholigan Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Excellent stuff. Good to see you are learning. It is very difficult to get to that point if you are in a mindset that believes that you can't do these things but it's great that you whittled it down to simply finding the joy of being in the moment with a woman, as opposed to agonizing about all the ways to try and get her to like you! Everything in your post is gold by the way. Soon you will get a number of questions such as "are you tall", "are you good-looking" and other such questions designed to make an exception out of you. 1
ThaWholigan Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I find it interesting that this kind of thread is about to head towards page 2 . I guess it's just too hard to fathom.... 1
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I've been cold approaching for severely months and feel I've gotten the hang of it. When I first started I cared about numbers and dates, but over time I have found that this is meaningless. That really in order to become really good with women you have to believe you are attractive and that if your attractive an attractive man stands out. I've had to change my body language in order to achieve a lot of this and I also make a point to be curious about things and ask questions. One thing that has truly helped me in terms of dating is not caring about the date or the number,but enjoying the moment with the woman. This is something that I've found the hardest,but makes a lot of sense when I think about it. When you hide aspects of yourself during a conversation with a women she doesn't get to see all of you then why should she date you. The hardest part for me with that is overcoming the physical barrier with women. I've started giving women when I talk to them high fives and I notice that when your physical with a woman they open up just a little bit more. Even more important women can't really put you in the friend zone now they just leave me. This all interesting to me and really zen like. Has anyone had a similar experience? Awesome post! It reeks of a process over outcome mindset, which is fantastic! You're well on your way, my friend! It's funny. I used to do the high five thing all the time. I still do it in places like work. It's a good way to get some touching going without being creepy. As far as the friend zone, man, I don't even know what that is anymore. I currently have one even remotely attractive female friend and she's in my friendzone probably even more than I'm in hers lol. As far as touching, yes, it's the best thing you can do with a girl. Where do you meet women? Bars/clubs? Day time?
Author CARL45 Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 I meet women more during the day because of my job. I would love to go to more clubs,but I live in San Jose and the club seem almost doesn't exist. The Day time I have more success. I'm an introvert so I'm still a bit of a shock to me to be social, but I feel I'm starting to get the hang of it. 1
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I meet women more during the day because of my job. I would love to go to more clubs,but I live in San Jose and the club seem almost doesn't exist. The Day time I have more success. I'm an introvert so I'm still a bit of a shock to me to be social, but I feel I'm starting to get the hang of it. Bro! I live in Santa Barbara! Let's go clubbing together!!!!
Author CARL45 Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 That sound's cool dude, but work prevents me from doing a lot of traveling. Thanks for the offer.
BlackWalker Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I've been cold approaching for severely months and feel I've gotten the hang of it. When I first started I cared about numbers and dates, but over time I have found that this is meaningless. That really in order to become really good with women you have to believe you are attractive and that if your attractive an attractive man stands out. I've had to change my body language in order to achieve a lot of this and I also make a point to be curious about things and ask questions. One thing that has truly helped me in terms of dating is not caring about the date or the number,but enjoying the moment with the woman. This is something that I've found the hardest,but makes a lot of sense when I think about it. When you hide aspects of yourself during a conversation with a women she doesn't get to see all of you then why should she date you. The hardest part for me with that is overcoming the physical barrier with women. I've started giving women when I talk to them high fives and I notice that when your physical with a woman they open up just a little bit more. Even more important women can't really put you in the friend zone now they just leave me. This all interesting to me and really zen like. Has anyone had a similar experience? I want to do this, mate. I am 24 years old and I'm still nervous around girls, so I was thinking approaching girls in public places would improve my confidence. Is this the case? Also, how would you suggest I do it? Should I just approach without thinking? Usually I over think things way too much before talking to a girl.
Author CARL45 Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 yes approaching women in public does improve your confidence, but you have to do over and over again to get your mind use to it. This is a daily process that helps you form a habit. I suggest you do what is called starting slow by going up to a woman you find attractive and just say high and more often you do this the more comfortable you will become. After this just try and stay in front of them as long as possible and see how long you can have a conversation. This is what works for me. Also when you approach try and not think too much because you can come off as fake. Just be in the moment. This sounds easy,but once you get this you'll discover a lot of women will not make fun of you and will actually want to talk to you. Good luck!
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