sweetkiwi Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 ^^^ Love your posts !! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author soccerrprp Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 Brave. All of you. Kind of rethinking the possibilities that a LDR may have in my life. Still too risky, but slowly rethinking...if slightly. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 He can move to Italy easily and the US with a fiance visa. You might want to double check that. I know that for a US citizen moving to the UK on a fiancee visa, you have to marry before six months is up and are not allowed to work or you have to leave the country. Don't know if it's the same in the US. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 (edited) I've never been tempted to have sex with someone other than my partner and neither has he. I don't want sex/intimacy as a general thing, I miss it with *him* and want it only with him. I wonder at times if I would be happier single as then I wouldn't be missing a particular person, I could just get on with things on my own. I've been with him the last few days and now missing cuddling up with him and everything else, feels really raw and painful right now. nicolewest, I always get this feeling that the temptations are much more difficult to resist in LDR. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out. It all seems too foreign and unfulfilling to me to be in a LDR. I need, want the physical intimacy that comes with a relationship and LDR doesn't provide enough of that. Edited May 3, 2013 by HeavenOrHell Link to post Share on other sites
Author soccerrprp Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I wonder at times if I would be happier single as then I wouldn't be missing a particular person, I could just get on with things on my own. Why? You could have someone with you, accessible and be happy. Go for that! Besides, if alone, you'll just miss the intimacy with another human all together, n'est pas? Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I can't bear to split up with him, it wouldn't feel right at all, it's him I want to be with but we can't live closer, together 3 years and getting harder to part each time. I thought I wouldn't meet someone after my ex left after nearly 2 decades together but I did, but I still feel it again now, that it would be hard to meet someone I feel as much for as my current partner. You know when you love that person you can't think about being with anyone else as it wouldn't be them I'm also very fussy and unconventional so it isn't easy meeting like minded partners at all. Why? You could have someone with you, accessible and be happy. Go for that! Besides, if alone, you'll just miss the intimacy with another human all together, n'est pas? Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I know you mean well, but it sounds like you're saying he's replaceable, but he's not so if we split I would miss him like hell and it will hurt more than it does now. Why? You could have someone with you, accessible and be happy. Go for that! Besides, if alone, you'll just miss the intimacy with another human all together, n'est pas? Link to post Share on other sites
Author soccerrprp Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I know you mean well, but it sounds like you're saying he's replaceable, but he's not so if we split I would miss him like hell and it will hurt more than it does now. Oh, no. I was not saying that he was replaceable. I was answering your question about being single so that you wouldn't miss someone. No, I get it. You're committed to this guy and the distance is not going to deter you from making the best of it. I get it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Sorry if I'm touchy, struggling lately, worse now I've just seen him cos everything is so bloody wonderful when we're together. Heart hurts now I'm apart from him again, sad and tearful. Oh, no. I was not saying that he was replaceable. I was answering your question about being single so that you wouldn't miss someone. No, I get it. You're committed to this guy and the distance is not going to deter you from making the best of it. I get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author soccerrprp Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 Sorry if I'm touchy, struggling lately, worse now I've just seen him cos everything is so bloody wonderful when we're together. Heart hurts now I'm apart from him again, sad and tearful. I am very sorry HoH. I can only imagine. BIG HUG TO YOU! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CherryT Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 (edited) nicolewest, I always get this feeling that the temptations are much more difficult to resist in LDR. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out. It all seems too foreign and unfulfilling to me to be in a LDR. I need, want the physical intimacy that comes with a relationship and LDR doesn't provide enough of that. I want physical intimacy with the person I love, not just with anyone. Sure it is very tough during our times apart, but being apart doesn't make me want to be with anyone else. If it did, I wouldn't love the person I am with. I don't think it's an issue/matter of whether or not someone can resist temptation. I believe it's more of a matter of if that person truly loves their partner. Same thing in local relationships, if someone is not completely in love, they may be tempted as well. My LDR will be closing the distance. It won't be in a few months but it will be in the next 2 years. It's extremely hard at times... but I wouldn't give up weeks of just talking on the phone and only seeing each other for 3 days every 3 or more weeks then to be with anyone else just for the physical intimacy. I don't know... when you feel SO loved by the person you love SO much, it makes it all worth it. HoH, I feel for you. I know it's so tough... While other posters will say that you need and end date in order for a LDR to work, that's not always the case. Just like any relationship, it needs to be whole. Just because you have a date doesn't mean everything else is working too. I've talked to a lot of LD couples who have broken up because they moved too soon. It's a big commitment you're making with that person... and I think the only way a LDR works is if both partners are serious enough about their relationship and each other. Not just an end date. IF you're not serious about each other and you end up moving on a whim because you miss them so much, the R can also break down. I would say that talking to many members here, many LDR where couples see each other numerous times (not online LDR) have shown me the most love. Many of my friends, colleagues, and family members are with people who don't have the same calibre of deep love that many LD couples have and I think it's because we endure so much pain to be with the person we love. The pain even brings us joy. Edited May 3, 2013 by CherryT 3 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Thank you I am very sorry HoH. I can only imagine. BIG HUG TO YOU! Link to post Share on other sites
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