Goodbye Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Only on day 2 of NC and he emailed me some strange Easter note about how rebirth reminds him that his "ability to love" was reborn in him because of me. Hmm. OK. I am VERY tempted to email back something to the effect of "And have you changed ANYTHING on your side?" I told him not to contact me unless he had made changes (left wife) that would enable a legitimate relationship between us. I suppose the best answer is to delete the email and pretend it doesn't exist?
Decorative Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 He just used a religious holiday to justify adultery? Rocket surgeon, that one. Ignoring it is best for you. 6
Author Goodbye Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 Yeah, well the religious holiday part isn't really pertinent to us as neither of us is religious. I kind of think cheating is wrong for obvious reasons...it betrays someones trust, nothing to do with god. I shall ignore the email. 2
lilmisscantbewrong Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Only on day 2 of NC and he emailed me some strange Easter note about how rebirth reminds him that his "ability to love" was reborn in him because of me. Hmm. OK. I am VERY tempted to email back something to the effect of "And have you changed ANYTHING on your side?" I told him not to contact me unless he had made changes (left wife) that would enable a legitimate relationship between us. I suppose the best answer is to delete the email and pretend it doesn't exist? As tough as it is to want so badly to answer this (I sure would be), ignoring is your best option. God, my heart is racing for you - stand firm.
MissBee Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Only on day 2 of NC and he emailed me some strange Easter note about how rebirth reminds him that his "ability to love" was reborn in him because of me. Hmm. OK. I am VERY tempted to email back something to the effect of "And have you changed ANYTHING on your side?" I told him not to contact me unless he had made changes (left wife) that would enable a legitimate relationship between us. I suppose the best answer is to delete the email and pretend it doesn't exist? Yes delete and pretend it doesn't exist. Him sending you some cryptic message means nothing. Ignore. 1
Decorative Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Yeah, well the religious holiday part isn't really pertinent to us as neither of us is religious. I kind of think cheating is wrong for obvious reasons...it betrays someones trust, nothing to do with god. I shall ignore the email. I'm an atheist. It probably makes it worse that he used it, then, not even being religious. Steer clear. Smart choice.
WakingUp Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 He is fishing. Any reply by you will be taken as a green light. This is my experience. The last time I tried NC I weakened and sent him a text calling him a coward, a cheat, and some very nasty things... he told me that he saw that as a "Yay she still loves me" sign. You will do what you will do, but every time you take him back the bar is lowered, your expectations are diminished, and your self respect takes a tumble. It doesn't get better. It gets worse. 2
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Only on day 2 of NC and he emailed me some strange Easter note about how rebirth reminds him that his "ability to love" was reborn in him because of me. "Are you telling me your penis was raised from the dead? Miracles still happen then....."
Author Goodbye Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 "Are you telling me your penis was raised from the dead? Miracles still happen then....." Sigh...yes so much humor can really be garnered from this email. I guess I feel pissy that he once again did the "I don't know if you even think about me" stuff...as if I'd had a lobotomy in the past 3 days. It is as if he needs the last word. He threw me the hot potato like "Here! I still love you even though you gave me an ultimatum I won't abide!" I guess I'll just leave the potato on the floor and not throw it back...as tempting as it is at 2am.
whichwayisup Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Delete the email, don't reply. Block him if you can this way you don't read what he says to you. Things haven't changed, not this quickly. IF he is to leave and divorce, let it because he has given up on his marriage, doesn't love his wife. This should have nothing to do with you - Meaning, if he is gonna D, he will reguardless if you are there waiting in the wings or not.
whichwayisup Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Sigh...yes so much humor can really be garnered from this email. I guess I feel pissy that he once again did the "I don't know if you even think about me" stuff...as if I'd had a lobotomy in the past 3 days. It is as if he needs the last word. He threw me the hot potato like "Here! I still love you even though you gave me an ultimatum I won't abide!" I guess I'll just leave the potato on the floor and not throw it back...as tempting as it is at 2am. EGO FEED! He KNOWS you think of him and how you feel. He ain't stupid. He IS playing you a bit, selfishly not maliciously. HE gets something out of knowing you're missing, loving, lusting after him, even though the A is over. F,uk that and GET MAD. Fight your emotions, put yourself first, find that self respect and BLOCK him. He's married and any contact now is pointless. 1
Author Goodbye Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 Block him...yes, I know I should. And yet I don't. Not yet at least. Not quite there. Maybe someone else understands this ambivalence. I'm strong enough to not reply, but not strong enough to block completely. Confusing.
WakingUp Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 He wants to feel like "the good guy" That is why he will not leave his wife, and he wont let you go either. He doesn't like to think that he isn't universally loved. He needs to feel as though he has control over things. Trouble is, he is out of control. He just doesn't realise it. Do not let him take your power away!
whichwayisup Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Block him...yes, I know I should. And yet I don't. Not yet at least. Not quite there. Maybe someone else understands this ambivalence. I'm strong enough to not reply, but not strong enough to block completely. Confusing. The thing is, not blocking him keeps you into him. You want to know what he says, it on some level gives you hope and hate to say it, also feeds your ego too..Feeds your feelings as well. you might be tempted to email him back one day. Or break NC and reach out to him during a weak moment. NC also means doing NC in your mind (not letting yourself think, reminise, fantasize, create dreams about him) too! Is it possible for you to delete an email from him without reading it? Or seeing his name in the inbox too much temptation for you to read? Even if you don't reply back.
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Block him...yes, I know I should. And yet I don't. Not yet at least. Not quite there. Maybe someone else understands this ambivalence. I'm strong enough to not reply, but not strong enough to block completely. Confusing. Not confusing - foolish. I'm sorry - but until you take this matter in hand and deal with things the way you know you should, you leave yourself open to this kind of 'abuse' and honestly? You only have yourself to blame. It's not a valid exercise to complain about how hot it is, when you won't turn the heating off. And it's an expensive reluctance.
Recommended Posts