jcm101 Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Goes for mainly girls im asking this too as im a guy. It just doesn't make sense to me when a girl says this. Let's say you are having loads of fun for a few months, going out on dates, just hanging out, sex, etc. What is the difference between just putting an exclusive label on it than what you already have? You might say if there's no difference, then why does it matter? Well some people like that "label" and that exclusiveness of only seeing each other. So what is the difference? Is it just the commitment of actually only being able to see that person? Does it truly mean the person wants to sleep around or that you are just no Mr. Right? I just see that line of complete BS. Or the "Im too busy". How are you too busy if you're already hanging out with that person? Maybe if you're labeled as BF/GF you might spend a little more time as you already do together, but still. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 "With you"..... 15 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 "I don't want a relationship right now" = = "I don't want a relationship with you right now" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 "You haven't peaked my interest enough for me to consider dating you". Or "I'm having fun keeping my options open" (refers to the above, not interested enough) It's pretty rare when a girl is head over heels in love with you but won't try a relationship for whatever reason (insecurity, emotional trauma, fear, etc.). When men/women fall for someone, they can have a habit of breaking their own rules. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 OR... "I don't want a relationship right now." As quoted. Sometimes it's that simple. No hidden agenda, nothing to do with YOU. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jcm101 Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 OR... "I don't want a relationship right now." As quoted. Sometimes it's that simple. No hidden agenda, nothing to do with YOU. But a girl that states she really likes you and loves spending time with you.. Then why not a relationship? Makes no sense. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 But a girl that states she really likes you and loves spending time with you.. Then why not a relationship? Makes no sense. There are honest people out there. There are a number of factors that determine whether someone is ready for a relationship or not. Some people are simply honest about whether they are available at the time or not. She may enjoy your company, but why does that have to translate into wanting a "romantic" relationship??? She may be hesitant b/c she feels that it may ruin whatever companionship you have now w/o the pressure. We can sit here and muster up a plethora of reasons, justifications, for why people say it, but the truth is also an option to consider. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 But a girl that states she really likes you and loves spending time with you.. Then why not a relationship? Makes no sense. She may state that to any number of guy(s). If she's in a relationship with one guy that would be more difficult for her to do. Or not. Something to consider though. Link to post Share on other sites
LostDoll Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Not necessarily, but it usually means they don't want to be in a relationship with you. Or they're currently off the market, like myself. Single, but not looking or interested. Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Could mean a couple of things: "I'm too busy knocking myself out partying right now. Get back to me when I turn 80." "My job sucks, I'm living in a ratty apartment, and I need a couple years to get my degree and my dream job." "I'm happier alone, so stop begging and don't bother me." Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 I don't want a relationship with YOU today, but I do want one next Wednesday with the good looking guy who comes up to me at the produce aisle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 It means "I dont like you quite enough to commit to you" I do have a rare case of a good friend who has been raped twice who legit is just too scared to be in a relationship. But thats rare, like less than 2% of the time somebody says this, is that the case... HOLY CRAP, sorry kimberly to hear this. Makes me sick... Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Like others have said it means with you. This is confirmed when you see that person is in a relationship with someone else not too long after he/she said it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle83 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 There are honest people out there. There are a number of factors that determine whether someone is ready for a relationship or not. Some people are simply honest about whether they are available at the time or not. She may enjoy your company, but why does that have to translate into wanting a "romantic" relationship??? She may be hesitant b/c she feels that it may ruin whatever companionship you have now w/o the pressure. We can sit here and muster up a plethora of reasons, justifications, for why people say it, but the truth is also an option to consider. I agree that this can be a reason as well. While I do think that most times it's that they just aren't into you enough, I do think in some cases if they have other stuff going on (say personal issues they need to deal with - depression, addictions, etc - granted you would likely notice something like this), they may feel that being committed to someone isn't something they can deal with at that point. So they like spending time with you, seeing you, etc, but committing for them is just too much with what they have going on. I do feel that being in a relationship does bring more expectations so in rare case, they may not be ready for that. But, 90% or more it's that they just aren't into you. I just do think there can be exceptions where it's not the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jcm101 Posted April 1, 2013 Author Share Posted April 1, 2013 I agree that this can be a reason as well. While I do think that most times it's that they just aren't into you enough, I do think in some cases if they have other stuff going on (say personal issues they need to deal with - depression, addictions, etc - granted you would likely notice something like this), they may feel that being committed to someone isn't something they can deal with at that point. So they like spending time with you, seeing you, etc, but committing for them is just too much with what they have going on. I do feel that being in a relationship does bring more expectations so in rare case, they may not be ready for that. But, 90% or more it's that they just aren't into you. I just do think there can be exceptions where it's not the case. Well if none of those depression or any mental issues are seen (of course deep inside when you're not around they can ensue though), but if the chick says she really likes you and loves spending time with you, but doesn't want a relationship right now and wants to be on her own.....that basically means what? I got that from a previous girl. Link to post Share on other sites
RachR Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Well if none of those depression or any mental issues are seen (of course deep inside when you're not around they can ensue though), but if the chick says she really likes you and loves spending time with you, but doesn't want a relationship right now and wants to be on her own.....that basically means what? Are you serious? She, and other posters, already said it: it means not with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 If they won't date you at all usually it means they're not interested in you. If you're dating them as in your example it means they're keeping their options open and/or aren't over their ex and are too weak to get over their breakup and heal on their own so they'll date someone to cover up their pain and use them as an emotional band aid. People that "can't be alone" make me wanna puke. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle83 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Well if none of those depression or any mental issues are seen (of course deep inside when you're not around they can ensue though), but if the chick says she really likes you and loves spending time with you, but doesn't want a relationship right now and wants to be on her own.....that basically means what? I got that from a previous girl. Again, it definitely could mean they just don't want a relationship with you. But it can also mean they just don't want a relationship. Lots of people equate being in a relationship = tied down. Maybe she wants to travel for months or something in the future. If you don't want to go...that's going to cause issues (I know a few couples who broke up over this and one that really considered not getting into a relationship with her bf because of it). She may also really like you and spending time with you....but also wants to date other people as well. In this case, she may like you...but is not sure she knows enough to cut off other options. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatDudeXO Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 The last girl I dated said that to me. She gave a bunch of reasons like studies and distance - which are all valid reasons but it just boils down to the fact that she didn't like me enough. We were sleeping with each other for a while but she was still in contact with her ex, who i think she still loves. She still wanted to see me for just sex but I couldn't do it. Deep down when someone says this it just means they don't like you enough to try because if they did, all those reasons wouldn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Absolutely. My new favorite thing to do is to make people who use this kind of cliche nonsense (lying to avoid whatever) uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 But a girl that states she really likes you and loves spending time with you.. Then why not a relationship? Makes no sense. Because a relationship is too much work unless you are in love with that person. People have expectations when in a relationship and this lady may not want to be available to just you. She may want to date around until she falls in love with a guy then commit to a relationship. If a person doesn't date different people how are they going to know what they like or don't like in a partner? Link to post Share on other sites
s-ss Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 If two people are not hanging out together all the time and one says 'I don't want a relationship right now' then there is probably some truth to it. Sometimes it is genuinely not about the other person, and people really don't want a relationship for a number of reasons such as busy with career, needing to be alone, getting other priorities sorted, working on self etc. However if two people are hanging out all the time with no label then it is most likely that one is not interested enough in the other to progress the relationship further. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetnothing Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 What everyone else said. It means they don't want a relationship with YOU. 90% of people would have no problem pursuing someone who meets their standards. Even the biggest players will settle down for a person who meets their standards. A player likes to take advantage of people's weak self esteem but if they meet someone who won't put up with crap then they'll commit...until they get bored. Being rejected is a good thing sometimes. Yeah it hurts because you tend to put a person on a pedestal and they throw you some stupid line to let you down easy like "I don't want a relationship right now" and it's misleading. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 When that's happened to me it's been either that she liked me but didn't feel I was 'boyfriend' material or she was screwing around with other guys and didn't want to tell me. Link to post Share on other sites
crude Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 If you're having fun now, why go any farther and ruin it by calling it a relationship, and getter deeper and deeper into it? People should just enjoy it as it is and not feel the need to put a label on it. Link to post Share on other sites
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