Krieger Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) 1)hard time open up at first and keep things inside. 2)self esteem 3)sensitive but not too sensitive 3a) some times I get hyper focused and what i am doing is more important. Edited March 31, 2013 by Krieger
Weezy1973 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 1. Unmotivated (I like being single). 2. Fear. Of rejection; of commitment; of ponies... 3. Shyness/social anxiety.
veggirl Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 The biggest problem I always had was I take things slowly in getting to know someone. I always came across guys who wanted to jump in head first before we even knew each other. I don't cuddle with people who are practically strangers and I don't tell them my life story. I won't hang out 5x a week with someone I just met. I always found that guys wanted to jump into like insta relationship type stuff and I never wanted to and never would do it. It takes me a long time to feel comfortable around someone new.
soccerrprp Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) The biggest problem I always had was I take things slowly in getting to know someone. I always came across guys who wanted to jump in head first before we even knew each other. I don't cuddle with people who are practically strangers and I don't tell them my life story. I won't hang out 5x a week with someone I just met. I always found that guys wanted to jump into like insta relationship type stuff and I never wanted to and never would do it. It takes me a long time to feel comfortable around someone new. You remind me of someone very special to me in this regard. We're very good friends now, but I certainly blew it. Of course, this was at the beginning of me returning to dating and I've done a near 180 from the earlier days. She is VERY guarded and private and comes from crappy past relationships and frankly, personality. To the point that she is unable to have a relationship. No disrespect, but would you characterize yourself as TOO private, guarded? Edited March 31, 2013 by soccerrprp
Woggle Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 The funny thing about having a good BS detector is that being lied makes me much more angry then when somebody is just jerk to my face. I get insulted that they actually expect to fall for it while at least an honest ******* who is that way to my face lets me know what I am dealing with.
iris219 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Mine refer to the beginning stages of dating and are as follows: 1. Aloof/cold/distant 2. I expect a man to show high interest, to be warm and openly express how he feels explicitly 3. I have a hard time enjoying what's happening without over thinking everything. Clearly, 1 and 2 conflict and made dating hard. Once 2 happens, all my walls come down and I open up completely, but I'm sure it's hard for a man to do 2 while I'm doing 1. I'm lucky my BF liked me enough to risk it!
soccerrprp Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Mine refer to the beginning stages of dating and are as follows: 1. Aloof/cold/distant 2. I expect a man to show high interest, to be warm and openly express how he feels explicitly 3. I have a hard time enjoying what's happening without over thinking everything. Clearly, 1 and 2 conflict and made dating hard. Once 2 happens, all my walls come down and I open up completely, but I'm sure it's hard for a man to do 2 while I'm doing 1. I'm lucky my BF liked me enough to risk it! I suspect that you're probably over-stating #1. How bad could it be as your bf stuck around to break through? 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Self centered Too flirtacious Superficial No. 1 and 3 eliminate around 90% of the male population in their 20's (my age) Did you make the same mistake I did? 1
TheGuard13 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 1. Ego. I'm an actor, and a really good one, and I darn well know it, and while I tend to be fairly humble, there's a certain confidence that comes along with that which I'm sure people occassionally mistake for some sort of ego issue. I like to be the life of the party, flirt, make off color jokes, etc. 2. Gray areas and sexual repression. There are things I want that I haven't had which a lot of people don't neccessarily find appropriate, and my relationships have suffered somewhat for it, or at least because I wasn't up front about some of them. I try to communicate honestly about it with people to avoid any unpleasant surprises. 3. Kind of lazy/laid back. I work just as hard as I have to. I will go to the wall on things that truly matter to me, but I lack what most people consider personal ambition. I'm more interested in creative pursuits and learning than any measure of financial or social "success".
iKING Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Did you make the same mistake I did? Pretty much. Kim, this was a self-reflection thread, not a negative things about the opposite gender thread. 2
Divasu Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Self centered Too flirtacious Superficial No. 1 and 3 eliminate around 90% of the male population in their 20's (my age) Hahaha! Yes this list was supposed to be about ourselves. I like you! 1. Not living in the moment 2. I analyze too much 3. Emotionally guarded 4. Too picky (yes, I'm allowed to add a 4th ) 1
StanMusial Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Kim why are you so self centered all the time??? Just playin, stay gold Ponyboy. 1. Too busy - solution = find someone who is also busy (has a life of their own) 2. Don't listen - solution = pay closer attention 3. Commitment phobic - solution = turn 35
soccerrprp Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Kim why are you so self centered all the time??? Just playin, stay gold Ponyboy. 1. Too busy - solution = find someone who is also busy (has a life of their own) 2. Don't listen - solution = pay closer attention 3. Commitment phobic - solution = turn 35 Uh, how does turning 35 help with commitment phobia?
mesmerized Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 1. Too picky 2. I talk a bit too much! 3. Having naturally curly hair! ( men in my demographics don't seem to like it!) 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 1. Too picky 2. I talk a bit too much! 3. Having naturally curly hair! ( men in my demographics don't seem to like it!) What?! Curly hair is the sexiest hair. Especially when its natural. And I don't throw that word around very lightly. 2
mesmerized Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 What?! Curly hair is the sexiest hair. Especially when its natural. And I don't throw that word around very lightly. Haha. Well a good deal of men where I live don't like it. They only like the big fake curls you get with hair irons lol
StanMusial Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Uh, how does turning 35 help with commitment phobia? These were the solutions that worked for me. YMMV. I had a brief period of wanting to settle down when I was 27 but I didn't really have that deep down gut feeling that stuck until 35.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Haha. Well a good deal of men where I live don't like it. They only like the big fake curls you get with hair irons lol I guess good taste is wasted on the wrong people. 2
iKING Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 1. Too picky 2. I talk a bit too much! 3. Having naturally curly hair! ( men in my demographics don't seem to like it!) I fail to see how these are problems. Maybe the being too picky part.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 It's true, there are a lot of men who really do not like naturally curly hair. I have it too. I remember doing a little experiment with my OLD profile and had all pictures of myself with my curly hair. Overall I received significantly fewer profile views and messages than when I had pictures with my hair straight/wavy. Wow. I always used to cringe when women I knew said how much they hated their curly hair and decided to straighten it. I mean don't get me wrong the hair doesn't make the person, but IMO, naturally curvy/wavy hair > straight hair. 1
ThaWholigan Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Wow. I always used to cringe when women I knew said how much they hated their curly hair and decided to straighten it. I mean don't get me wrong the hair doesn't make the person, but IMO, naturally curvy/wavy hair > straight hair. The man has good taste Curly hair trumps all 1
mesmerized Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 I fail to see how these are problems. Maybe the being too picky part. Talking too much and as fast as I do is bad too. Sometimes I feel so bad after dates because I barely let them talk lol this usually happens when my date doesn't have much to talk about in the first place but still I need to change that and be a better listener than a talker.
iKING Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Talking too much and as fast as I do is bad too. Sometimes I feel so bad after dates because I barely let them talk lol this usually happens when my date doesn't have much to talk about in the first place but still I need to change that and be a better listener than a talker. I talk a lot too, so we'd be competing in a conversation. Being talkative isn't a problem unless you're like literally not letting the other person talk. Better then being absolutely silent, right? And the bit about the curly hair.. Come on mes.
mesmerized Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 I talk a lot too, so we'd be competing in a conversation. Being talkative isn't a problem unless you're like literally not letting the other person talk. Better then being absolutely silent, right? And the bit about the curly hair.. Come on mes. Haha. Also when you talk too much, you are always bound to say something you regret later. Happens to me every time. Only if you knew what comments I have gotten from people when having big curly hair. men really hate it here! Certain men and ethnicities seem to really like it tho but they are not the majority here. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Haha. Also when you talk too much, you are always bound to say something you regret later. Happens to me every time. Only if you knew what comments I have gotten from people when having big curly hair. men really hate it here! Certain men and ethnicities seem to really like it tho but they are not the majority here. What ethnicity are you? I can't imagine why curly hair would look bad on someone...
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