What are your worst 3 traits when it comes to dating?

[Eternal Sunshine]

I thought I would bring some negativity to the forum

 

I will go first:

 

1. Impulsive

 

2. Temperamental

 

3. Difficult to trust

[the_entertainer1]

Interesting question.

 

(In no particular order)

 

1) Judgemental

 

2) Indecisive

 

3) A little shy to begin with

[Woggle]

I don't know if this is a bad thing but I have a really good BS detector and I know when I am being played for a fool.

 

I do not trust people easily

 

I am very blunt and say exactly what is on my mind. Some take this as insensitivity but I just am not a liar

[TigerCub]

1. Impatient

2. Impulsive

3. Have a short fuse.

 

[fortyninethousand322]

1. Smelly (as in smells bad).

2. Unintelligent.

3. Spitefulness.

[soccerrprp]

1. Smelly (as in smells bad).

2. Unintelligent.

3. Spitefulness.

 

I'm sorry, but are we describing ourselves or the other person we're meeting?

[fortyninethousand322]

I'm sorry, but are we describing ourselves or the other person we're meeting?

 

Yeah. I guess I misunderstood.

 

I thought we were describing people we'd never date...

 

[fortyninethousand322]

For myself:

 

1. Going bald.

2. Low confidence.

3. General cluelessness.

[soccerrprp]

For myself:

 

1. Going bald.

2. Low confidence.

3. General cluelessness.

 

Is this to over-compensate for not getting it right the first time?

 

Oh, stop it.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Yes, you are supposed to describe YOURSELF.

[carhill]

1. Little surprises me. This often comes off as 'boring'.

 

2. Slow on the uptake. Take too long to 'get to know'.

 

3. Go with the flow. Not enough 'tension'.

 

Historically, based on feedback, those have been the three most common traits disadvantaging myself to other males in the mating/dating dance. Number 2 is probably the worst, historically, in today's relatively fast-paced society where people commonly make snap decisions on mate potentials. As an example, the OP commonly asserts a need/preference for consistent and high interest by a man, generally from the beginning. This is fairly common in my demographic. My interest ramps up over time, an incompatible trait.

[xdahliax]

1. Oblivious to advances/interest

2. Afraid of commitment

3. Untrusting

[Eternal Sunshine]

1. Little surprises me. This often comes off as 'boring'.

 

2. Slow on the uptake. Take too long to 'get to know'.

 

3. Go with the flow. Not enough 'tension'.

 

Historically, based on feedback, those have been the three most common traits disadvantaging myself to other males in the mating/dating dance. Number 2 is probably the worst, historically, in today's relatively fast-paced society where people commonly make snap decisions on mate potentials. As an example, the OP commonly asserts a need/preference for consistent and high interest by a man, generally from the beginning. This is fairly common in my demographic. My interest ramps up over time, an incompatible trait.

 

My mum tells me that I need a man of your type to balance me out.

 

In general, I have failed with all high passion men that attracted me in the past....

[EasyHeart]

1. Too handsome

2. Too smart

3. Too confident.

[soccerrprp]

All things having developed after I started dating again, unfortunately. things I didn't think I would be before all of it.

 

1. Hesitant about commitment

2. Higher standards than I expected (High standards)

3. Too independent and wanting of MY space- not good for a relationship when most want more time

[ThaWholigan]

1. Too open-minded. I see the bigger picture too often which polarizes me away from people's view which lean towards different sides of a spectrum. I come off as wishy-washy to some as a result.

 

2. Unpredictable. I'm a weird guy - it shows.

 

3. Live at home. Nuff said.

[Eternal Sunshine]

All things having developed after I started dating again, unfortunately. things I didn't think I would be before all of it.

 

1. Hesitant about commitment

2. Higher standards than I expected (High standards)

3. Too independent and wanting of MY space- not good for a relationship when most want more time

 

Ah yes, I have all those too.

[carhill]

My mum tells me that I need a man of your type to balance me out.

 

In general, I have failed with all high passion men that attracted me in the past....

Balance is positive if it feels authentic, IMO. Otherwise, it becomes but another mask. As I've found demographics where my authentic behaviors/style/traits find synergy, I trust that you will as well. IMO, be true to who you are. If those traits disadvantage you, so be it. They 'balance' all the traits which advantage you, and make you a unique and valuable individual.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Balance is positive if it feels authentic, IMO. Otherwise, it becomes but another mask. As I've found demographics where my authentic behaviors/style/traits find synergy, I trust that you will as well. IMO, be true to who you are. If those traits disadvantage you, so be it. They 'balance' all the traits which advantage you, and make you a unique and valuable individual.

 

I am curious, what types of women do you find you get along the best romantically (personality wise)...

[iKING]

Hmm, a dating confessional. Interesting.

 

• Impatience
  
• Spontaneous
  
• Emotionally invested quickly
  

 

I have a habit of living too fast, been trying to slow down.

 

Things we must work on is all.

[PhoenixRysing]

Good one!

 

1. Control freak

2. Workaholic

3. Oblivious to interest (and disinterest as it turns out).

[Eternal Sunshine]

The purpose of this thread is to make us more aware of areas we all need to work on to have a better chance at having a healthy relationship.

[carhill]

I am curious, what types of women do you find you get along the best romantically (personality wise)...

Traits can be complex and perhaps synergy can be difficult to describe but I'd say the most synergistic combination I encountered was with the grandmother pictured in my travel album here. She had the traits of slow and steady, quiet strength and emotional transparency and sensitivity which spoke to me. As example, it was from her I first learned about 'stealing a woman's work', a loving way of telling me to get the heck out of her kitchen. When interacting with her privately, it was difficult to imagine she was an emergency room doc during the day. Perhaps the words fail me, but that was one, and a rare, example of a lady's traits finding me feeling like a man in the dynamic. It inspired more 'traditional' drives and feelings, even though I still retained the traits modeled and reinforced by modern society.

 

If I had to add a number 4 as 'worst', it would be generalized sensitivity, and that ties into number 1. Those in the psychological community have theorized about heightened sensory inputs (sight, touch, smell, taste, hearing) into the brain affecting emotion and perception. Women perhaps allude to it as 'intuition'. It's a difficult trait to have as a man, requiring constant suppression to function socially. Ironically, it would be self-help for this trait which would cause me to meet the lady I used to describe as a positive example of trait synergy. Life is interesting that way. Hope that helps.

[frustr8ed]

1.Naive

2.Over think things/ Insecure

3. Wait for signs instead of taking what I want.

[El Brujo]

Let me just say that all work and no play has made me a dull man.