Hermeister Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) Hey everybody, I'll just give you a background on what happened. I'm a 19 year old guy and have been dating this girl (also 19) for about 9 - 10 months, although we broke up two weeks ago. For both of us, it was our first proper relationship and for her I was her first for everything sexually (except sex because we didn't end up having sex). Initially she was reluctant to go out with me but after a week or so of thinking she agreed and for a few months we were good. About 4 months in we had our first serious talk about our relationship (she wanted to break up). By then we'd have done everything sexually minus sex and her main concern for wanting to break up is because she doesn't feel any urge to perform any sexual acts towards me and she thinks that is a sign that she isn't attracted to me or is not in love with me, etc. On top of that, sometimes I can be a bit immature with my guy friends which I don't see there's a problem with, but apparently she does. Either way we didn't speak for about 3 days and then saw each other, made up and got back together. This lasted another 2 months, before we had another talk again. This time, it was less of the immature reason and just wondering whether she wanted a relationship at the moment and whether we were right for each other. Again, 3 days later we started seeing each other again and got back together. 3 months later (two weeks ago), she brought up the topic again about sex and how she doesn't feel the need to have sex with me and that makes her question whether she's attracted to me or not. This could also be attributed to the fact that she is extremely innocent and just, simply put, a good girl. Also things like sometimes I slack off on my exercise routine (she's a fitness "enthusiast"). She said things like "I'm not sure whether I'd marry you so I'm not sure what I want. I'm really confused and I think I need some time and space". I know it sounds bad, but in saying that we ALWAYS have fun together, always laugh and have a good time and have NEVER had a fight about anything. I always try my best to surprise her and make her feel special in the relationship. We always get along well and love each other's company. That is what's confusing me!!! We've never fought, always have fun, but yet she's doing this! What could be the reason? What should I do if I want her back in the future and to not have these stupid breakup talks in the future every two months? What do you guys think I should do with this whole situation? Not talk to her / Be friends / Try and get back together? Thanks guys, any response is much appreciated. Edited March 31, 2013 by Hermeister 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Do you like ping-pong? Feels like it, doesn't it? Put the bat down and do something else. LIke, weights.... or running.... or swimming. Anything that's something you can do on your own for a while. A long while. Like, maybe - for good. Drop this ball, it's just going to keep bouncing insanely for actually no real good reason. And if she doesn't 'connect' with you through sex - this is most definitely heading for the cliff-edge - and is keeping going.
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 No Contact. Sounds like you were in the friend zone before you even started. 1
Author Hermeister Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 Yeah I just had this hunch that I was just in the friend zone. Is there any way to get out of this friend zone though? I mean at times when we'd talk about sex she'd sound kinda keen, but we just didn't have the time nor the place and then a week later she'd have completely changed her mind. Is ther eany way to just get her completely out of this zone?
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 She isn't IN the friend-Zone. YOU ARE!! She's in the "I give a schytt, I'll use him as a BFF, until the right guy comes along" Zone. And brother - that's an impossible zone to get her out of.
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