bluelights Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 My mom passed away a couple of months ago. It was a terrible death and I miss her so much. While she was dying, my bf broke up with me. I guess it was mutual because I brought it up, but he agreed with it and I think he thinks it's the best for us. It was an on and off relationship for years. I am in college and I'm 19 years old. I'm finding it hard to cope because I have no friends in this city (moved away for college) and I used to be with my bf all the time, and now I can't be. I just feel really alone. My ex is not even texting me asking how I am, or stopping by my place (we live in the same city) to ask me if I'm alright, no email, phonecalls, or texts. It definitely makes me sad because I wasted years on him, always thought he was a good guy (maybe he still is). I just don't know why he isn't here for me. Even though we're broken up, he can still be here for me because he knows how much I love my mom and I'm pretty sure he did love me. So why the cold shoulder? Are there any possible explanations for this? If he loved me, he would've checked up on me, right? Is it possible he didn't love me, although he showed me a lot of times when we were together that he did? I would understand if he feels awkward talking about death, but why can't I get a simple "How are you doing?" text? I feel like I lost two people who were the 2 people who have always been a very important part of my life, and now I'm alone.
whichwayisup Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent isn't easy and I feel for you on that having been there myself (my dad). Losing a boyfriend sucks too, timing is awful! Try to push yourself to meet new people. I'm sure you have some buddies at college? Make trips home on weekends so you can see other family members. Ask for help, seek counseling or grief counseling if need be.
CC12 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 I feel like I lost two people who were the 2 people who have always been a very important part of my life, and now I'm alone. I'm sorry. That must be difficult. Try not to think of it as he doesn't love you or never really did. A lack of contact is just kind of what happens after a breakup. He probably didn't mean to abandon you or anything like that. I'm sure it's just awkward for him. Maybe he thinks you're better off with him not contacting you so you can have time to yourself to grieve. He might be right.
Mcnulty Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 So sorry, for where you're at, you must be feeling a lot of pain right now. CC makes some good points, he may be hurting too and thinking the best thing to do is nothing, to maybe respect your loss and not bother you with the "possible trivialities" in his eyes of the demise of your relationship. Maybe think to yourself, well he is possibly using self preservation, regardless of your loss, if he was meant to be your soul mate, he would be looking after you right now...he's made his choice and I dont feel like he should be really criticized for this, but if you were the love of my life, regardless of the rel. ending, i'd be there for you at this awful time.
bob the brave Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Sorry for the loss as well. Sounds like you are just understandably lonely in general. Try to get out, it will just take time.
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