Minneloa Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 So take that anger and do something concrete and constructive with it! Now, before Tara goes Liam on you!
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Classic, classic breadcrumbs pal... utterly typical. Could have been scripted. I'm sorry.... Stick with it. You're doing much better than some guys and gals who had gone further down the line than you. Truly, you're doing really well.
fabulousgal Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 TM, how do you block a number on your cell phone?
Author McDonald Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) Its nice to hear that from you TM as you were one of the first to help me with the break up a few months ago. I do feel the progress I have made. I mean three months ago I was crying like a baby begging for this girl to comeback. Now, In a way, I can care less about her... I think its more of the relationship that if anything, I am missing and the breadcrumbs kinda add to it. LOL she has a new bf what the hell is she doing messaging me haha. @ Minneloa- Well usually I would go workout.. but today is my day off.. and not that many people are back yet from spring break so theres not that much going on. Another reason for this moment. Edited March 31, 2013 by McDonald
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 TM, how do you block a number on your cell phone? There are different ways: it depends on your provider. Sometimes, you have a facility in your call settings. On other occasions you may have to 'vet' the call coming in and just give an automatic response. For text messages it may be more complicated. Not all 'phones have a text blocker, so either you have to download an app, or again, ask your provider if it can be done. I have advised those unable to actually block texts to respond to unwanted communications from exes, with the following: Text Blocker activated. Your text message was not delivered. Al;though (rather like Heimlich with his manoeuvre) I personally have never put it to the test, others tell me it works very well....
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Its nice to hear that from you TM as you were one of the first to help me with the break up a few months ago. I do feel the progress I have made. I mean three months ago I was crying like a baby begging for this girl to comeback. Now, In a way, I can care less about her... I think its more of the relationship that if anything, I am missing and the breadcrumbs kinda add to it. LOL she has a new bf what the hell is she doing messaging me haha. Now this is peculiarly common, it seems... exes tend to re-connect when they have found a 'new squeeze'.... perhaps it's a subliminal "Gonna see if i get a response in case this doesn't work out so's I have a fall-back option".... I think it may be the unconscious intention. But in any case, ignore it. I mean really, at this stage - do you honestly want to be considered a 'fall-back option'....?
Author McDonald Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 I dont want to be considered the backup.. IDK why my mind works like this though.. When she first sent me a breadcrumb message awhile back I want nuts because i never replied.. Now Im going nuts because Im thinking "what if we had a conversation" But that relates to the idea of "hope" i guess right?
TaraMaiden Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 I dont want to be considered the backup.. IDK why my mind works like this though.. When she first sent me a breadcrumb message awhile back I want nuts because i never replied.. Now Im going nuts because Im thinking "what if we had a conversation" But that relates to the idea of "hope" i guess right? Yup, you got it in one.
Author McDonald Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 Okay You are going be mad at me. No need to explain what i did you most likely know. but It killed the false hope that was created by her message and I wont do it again.. boy havent we heard that one before?
TaraMaiden Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 *Sigh*. No, I'm past being mad. I already know that the more people post "S/He contacted me! Why?? And what do I do now?!!?" ... and the longer the threads go on for, the greater the indication that the OP will ignore all advice, do it anyway, and live to regret it. It's late here, I'm going to bed. *shakes head* Why do I even bother? "URGENT She texted." Really? I mean - REALLY??
Author McDonald Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 (edited) Yes I understand. I have noticed that too as well actually. I am passed the point of being hurt by messages from the x though. That was the first few months of waiting for a response etc. The old me will be flipping out right now... :"why didnt she respond???". Im past the point of it setting me back, I know it and can feel it... its more of a "how stupid can I be" thing But im not here to justify my actions, as theres nothing that will justify it accept my own curiosity. But no not anymore.. Because as it may seem like I haven't learned much, I have become stronger. Yet still weak enough to send a reply.. I see the faults in what I have done. The power I give this one person is pretty insulting to my own individuality. Lesson once again learned, and will be lived upon, until next time Edited April 1, 2013 by McDonald
Author McDonald Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 The feeling of letting people down I think hurts more that anything else..
na49 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Did you go on to have a conversation or are you still climbing the walls over her "good luck this semester" text? I think you're lying to yourself about being able to handle a conversation. I know you want to talk to her, but she's not going anywhere. Talk to her when you're ready, not now.
cavalier99 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 (edited) Just tell yourselves your EX is dead to you. Works wonders. watch and learn. Cav thinking: what is my ex doing, that is the place we ate at..blah blah bhah ..wait a sec ....SHE IS DEAD TO ME Im totally cool now. WEEEEE See easy. Well it kinda works sometimes at least. lol Cav Edited April 1, 2013 by cavalier99
Author McDonald Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 (edited) Na I answered your question on your post in Break ups. Cav as I can see from our posts you have been doing great as of late. So yea maybe to see her as dead will help... Ive noticed something though maybe you guys can help me figure it out. I am doing fine. I am happy.. can be a little happier but for the most part I am happy. Yet for some reason... I dont want her to know that? Doesnt that sound weird? Usually you would want your ex to think your doing amazing without her. But not me. When she asks how Im doing... I want to say.. No great or something. Its funny because at first I wasnt doing great.. so I would tell her that. Now, Im doing fine... but I dont want to tell her im doing fine. Is it because of holding on? Afraid that her guilt will leave? These thoughts also make my happiness become somewhat suppressed at times as you begin to act like how yu think. Talk about two parts fighting each other. Its like Im fiighting myself not to be happy. anyone understand this Edited April 1, 2013 by McDonald
TaraMaiden Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Good morning....! The feeling of letting people down I think hurts more that anything else.. It's not other people you let down. This really doesn't affect us. My disappointment is in knowing people just end up hurting themselves, and get themselves back to a low point again... That's what makes me 'sigh'.... Ive noticed something though maybe you guys can help me figure it out. I am doing fine. I am happy.. can be a little happier but for the most part I am happy. Yet for some reason... I dont want her to know that? Doesnt that sound weird? Usually you would want your ex to think your doing amazing without her. But not me. When she asks how Im doing... I want to say.. No great or something. Its funny because at first I wasnt doing great.. so I would tell her that. Now, Im doing fine... but I dont want to tell her im doing fine. Is it because of holding on? Afraid that her guilt will leave? These thoughts also make my happiness become somewhat suppressed at times as you begin to act like how yu think. Talk about two parts fighting each other. Its like Im fiighting myself not to be happy. anyone understand this What I think it may be is perhaps one of two things: (I'm for the second option myself....) 1: It's none of her business. What would she care whether you're happy or not, anyway? Your progress is your affair, not hers. She dumped you. Why would she need to know? 2: It's a form of revenge. "You dumped me. You made me unhappy. You messed with my heart and dragged it over broken glass and hot coals. Now you want to know whether I'm ok? Yes. Actually, I am ok. I'm happier, and well on the way to recovery. I'm doing fine and feeling better. I'm beginning to realise the worth and value of living well, and that I CAN do it without you. But you know what? I'm not going to tell you that. You know why? Because if I do, it will relieve your guilt. It will make YOU feel better about dumping me, and somehow relieve the bad feelings you have about what you did. And I just want you to carry on carrying. I want you to suffer a little bit now, in a fraction of the way you made ME suffer. I want you to believe I'm still in the hell-hole you threw me into, because that means you still feel the churning inside, when you hurt someone you have feelings for. so, for your information (untrue as it may be), no, I'm not fine. I'm still unhappy, still mourning, still not over you, still in pain and it's still all your fault. Carry that, a bit longer, why don't you, bitch?"
Author McDonald Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 Because if I do, it will relieve your guilt. It will make YOU feel better about dumping me, and somehow relieve the bad feelings you have about what you did. And I just want you to carry on carrying. I want you to suffer a little bit now, in a fraction of the way you made ME suffer. I want you to believe I'm still in the hell-hole you threw me into, because that means you still feel the churning inside, when you hurt someone you have feelings for. so, for your information (untrue as it may be), no, I'm not fine. I'm still unhappy, still mourning, still not over you, still in pain and it's still all your fault. Carry that, a bit longer, why don't you, bitch?" this. This explains it perfectly. Before she was posting pics of her having a good time. Then she sends me a message that reveals some sort of guilt. It might not be for her too see if I'm actually okay... It's probably just for her. Yet there is guilt. And she's shown that to me so I feel as if I can now pound her on that guilt by saying no I'm not okay. Look what you have done? You think this is okay? That I can just move on? Etc etc When in realty I have been moving on and it's me just wanting her to feel pain because it has just seemed like even at the beginning of the BU there was no pain on her end. She had this other guy to lean on. But I did tell her I was alright. So now her guilt is smaller. Though she knows what she did. Luckily, I feel no more emotions or this could have gone pretty bad. And I'm tired of her getting off easy on this. With no punishment in a way. Hm I feel like I contradicted myself a bit.-- I want her to feel bad yet I told her I'm alright. Interesting the way my brain works
Author McDonald Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 Also I didnt mess up anything by messaging her.. because there was nothing to mess up due to the fact that there is nothing there. Basically, shes dating this other guy, and thats that.
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