McDonald Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Okay Loveshackers Most of you know my story... its been about 4 months now of NC with minor breaks of it here and there for one sentence messages. She has a knew bF. left me for him... ignores me on campus... Now out of nowhere she just sends me a messages saying "hey just wanted to say hope you are doing well and good luck this quarter"., WHAT THE FU*k!!!!! Okay so Im pretty much over it but theres a little part of me that has just been driving me crazy. I know this is allfor her. this message.... its for her satisfaction... but theres a part of me that wants to say "thanks, you too" Then theres a partthat wants to say "F off you hope I am doing well?" Then theres a part that just doesnt want to reply.... Im just being pulled apart once again. Link to post Share on other sites
Compromize Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 I just got one today too brother. I replied but I have been NC less time than you. For me I know it's really over. The text my ex sent was for her too, it wasn't for me. I would not reply if I were you. She just wants your attention and she is trying to make herself feel better, convince herself that she still is a "good person". My heart got ripped out again today. Don't do it man. I know it messes you up just getting it. Be strong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
garand Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 I know the feeling my ex did that for 4 mos after our break up then married the guy she left me for they dated 8 mos forget her and move on she just wants to feed her ego . Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Delete it without a response and move on. If you are pretty much over it and she's with another guy - a guy she left you for - no additional action or thought is required. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lop98 Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 What January2011 said. Delete, don't save it anywhere. You'll feel so good with yourself eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
Author McDonald Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 well last time i didnt reply it literally drove me crazy... so I think I will just say "thanks, you too" Just from previous experience.. I think that will be best for me because I really dont feel much anymore... so it wont lead me on. but who really knows maybe I shouldnt. Link to post Share on other sites
cdt76 Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Before you do that, think about this. What is the point? What is the point of responding? It doesn't matter. To her you are just a guy she dumped because she didn't think you were someone she wanted a future with. Don't do it. Don't respond. It will give you the power you need to know you are ok, WITHOUT her. Link to post Share on other sites
denxnis Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 If you respond then you will sit there wondering why she didn't keep the conversation going. If you don't respond life goes on and you can continue to work at ridding your life of her. Simple as that 4 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Okay Loveshackers Most of you know my story... its been about 4 months now of NC with minor breaks of it here and there for one sentence messages. She has a knew bF. left me for him... ignores me on campus... Now out of nowhere she just sends me a messages saying "hey just wanted to say hope you are doing well and good luck this quarter"., WHAT THE FU*k!!!!! Okay so Im pretty much over it but theres a little part of me that has just been driving me crazy. I know this is allfor her. this message.... its for her satisfaction... but theres a part of me that wants to say "thanks, you too" Then theres a partthat wants to say "F off you hope I am doing well?" Then theres a part that just doesnt want to reply.... Im just being pulled apart once again. Change your cell number! Block her if you can't change your number. She is 'past it all' and isn't thinking of how you will feel when she shoots off a stupid friendly text after being in NC mode. You are hurting and the last thing you need is her in your face this way. Yuck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author McDonald Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 Its her trying to be nice but she just doesnt understand what I have been through. It just doesnt make any sense and makes me more upset that she cant see it. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 They just want to feel good. Its about them not being the villian. Nothing more. In their eyes they are being cordial....You could also respond with a remark like. "Well, lets seeee....did you call your garbage contractor a few weeks later to check on the status of your trash?" Didnt think so... Just hang in there... TFOY Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 How about being honest? I mean, she left you for another guy and now she's feeling charitable? She can keep her charity - with both hands. You have reason to be upset. And you should not care less about what she feels or thinks. Ideally, I would not answer. If you can't, just say :"I would appreciate it if you kept those nice wishes for the guy you left me for / next guy you're gonna use and dispose of. . Kindly show some decency and stop all contact. Thank you". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author McDonald Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 Ideally yes I would want to tell her to stop talking to me. I just need to "grow a pair" I have never kicked anyone out of my life before... so it makes it hard to do it for the first time. Especially to someone who was my first of many things. I do also realize its for her own guilt... It has been awhile since the break up.. about 3 months. So, it didnt set me back like other texts from her. It really just made me think and thats about it. However it showed me that I am not yet indifferent about this. Sadly, theres a part of me that wants to be friends with her again and wishes that it can create a conversation with a response. but I just cant because it wouldnt be just a conversation I want. And I dont think she realizes that. Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Ideally yes I would want to tell her to stop talking to me. I just need to "grow a pair" I have never kicked anyone out of my life before... so it makes it hard to do it for the first time. Especially to someone who was my first of many things. I do also realize its for her own guilt... It has been awhile since the break up.. about 3 months. So, it didnt set me back like other texts from her. It really just made me think and thats about it. However it showed me that I am not yet indifferent about this. Sadly, theres a part of me that wants to be friends with her again and wishes that it can create a conversation with a response. but I just cant because it wouldnt be just a conversation I want. And I dont think she realizes that. So at this point, what is keeping you from blocking her number? Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Listen, you need to stop this train of thinking. You still feel for her, but she moved on and she is continuing her life. Not you. You are living in the past, and that is just not fair. Your ex is being completely selfish because she uses you to make herself feel better. So here is what I say: - you cannot stop having those feelings and those thoughts yet. ok, that is fine. But you need to ACCEPT that it is over. There is no "maybe". No "miracle conversation". Nothing you can say or do to change her mind or her feelings. It will never happen, man. She doesn't want you, she doesn't care about it, the only person she is constantly taking care of, is herself. So come to term with that. - secondly, you need to be strong and STOP ALL CONTACT. It doesn't matter is she calls, writes, emails, sends pigeons or telegrams. NO CONTACT. Think about her any your past as long as you want, but keep things in the past, and don't bring them in the present or phantasize about the future. This is what's feeding your slight obsession with her. If you don't bring her in your present, if you don't make projections about her and you in the future, your obsession will die off, because you'll stop feeding it. - thirdly, KEEP BUSY. Yes, get 4 hobbies, 5 extra classes, train really hard and literally don't give yourself any time to think. Ideally, see your friends in between, to really appreciate the breaks. anyway, that's how I'd do it, if I were you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author McDonald Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 So at this point, what is keeping you from blocking her number? Ill be honest on this forum no need to hide my feelings. Maybe because im finding it hard for me to completely close ALL doors and all forms of communication forever. This goes back to the I dont understand the kicking a person out of your life. With spring break over.. being back at college doesnt make it easier.. I was fine all last week. But when i came back here the cloud of sadness came back. Im just finding it hard for me to be as happy alone as I was when I was with her. and I am doing everything I did before I started dating this girl... and I thought that would make me as happy as I was before her.. but that hasnt been the case either. Im doing fine... but not where I would like to be. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 well last time i didnt reply it literally drove me crazy... so I think I will just say "thanks, you too" Just from previous experience.. I think that will be best for me because I really dont feel much anymore... so it wont lead me on. but who really knows maybe I shouldnt. I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for validation, I can tell you I don't have the answer. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you ignore that text right now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Ill be honest on this forum no need to hide my feelings. Maybe because im finding it hard for me to completely close ALL doors and all forms of communication forever. This goes back to the I dont understand the kicking a person out of your life. With spring break over.. being back at college doesnt make it easier.. I was fine all last week. But when i came back here the cloud of sadness came back. Im just finding it hard for me to be as happy alone as I was when I was with her. and I am doing everything I did before I started dating this girl... and I thought that would make me as happy as I was before her.. but that hasnt been the case either. Im doing fine... but not where I would like to be. I appreciate your candor, and I"m sorry you're struggling. It is very hard to let go of the last avenue of communication with an ex. That said, I urge you to block her number TODAY. Hope, even tiny shreds of it, is a killer and can keep you from fully healing and moving on. Think of it this way: you aren't cutting her out of your life so much as slamming closed the door she walked out of. On a lighter note, maybe if you block your ex immediately, Tara Maiden won"t kill you. Eeek! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 (I'm waiting for someone to recognise the quotation..... ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 .....I urge you to block her number TODAY. Hope, even tiny shreds of it, is a killer and can keep you from fully healing and moving on. Think of it this way: you aren't cutting her out of your life so much as slamming closed the door she walked out of. Yeah. An open door lets the wind in, and the one she's blowin' out of her @ss is a real killer.... HOPE: I say this a lot: "There's no 'i' in team, and all 'hope' contains, is a big fat 'zero'." Pandora famously and unwittingly released all the furies, ills and evils of the world, when she opened the box consigned to her trust.... she slammed the lid shut to prevent further damage, but only one thing remained in the box: HOPE. However, if you read and mark the story well, it relates how the box contained ALL the furies, evils and ills of the world - not ALL the furies, evils and ills of the world "except one".... so 'Hope’ is just as much a negative as the rest of them. This is why the word 'Hope' is so often preceded by the word 'false'..... Hope does nothing but leave a Hole in your heart, and make it bleed longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author McDonald Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 Hope, no matter how little of it I have hurts just as much as having complete 100% hope. So I know I must kill the hope to be completely "free" Link to post Share on other sites
Author McDonald Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 And I think its from Taken huh. It screams Liam Neeson Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Yep. Now block her. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 And I think its from Taken huh. It screams Liam Neeson Liam neeson doesn't scream. He really doesn't need to. You'll find I'm the same..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author McDonald Posted March 31, 2013 Author Share Posted March 31, 2013 2 full months without a conversation and she had to text me... See i was really forgetting until the message. It just pisses me off. Link to post Share on other sites
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