Fryderyk_Franciszek Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 My GF of two months called me out today for not being affectionate enough in person. Even though I write her very affectionate things, when I see her, she feels I am not affectionate enough. I don't know if this is true or not. But if it is true, this is a complete role reversal from my past relationship. I can totally understand how she feels. And on top of that, I can totally understand how my ex felt when I called her out on it. Maybe....I really care for my GF. I really think that this is good, but I don't feel like we need to see each other every day or talk in person every day....just yet. Maybe I am wrong...? But I need some space sometimes. Tonight, we talked on the phone. She called me out on never calling her. I am not a huge fan of sitting on the phone talking. But I know it means a lot to her so I called her. We talked for a few minutes. We both said bye. She then immediately called me back to tell me that she loves me. I just don't know. I told her tonight that I sometimes need space. That isn't true. My last relationship, all I wanted was to be with her and to tell her I love her and to hold her. This relationship, I can have all of that, but I am being like my ex....I am being scared. Maybe I am just being a jerk and I should realize that I need to just either: A: Sit down and talk with her and tell her what's on my mind....or B: just be myself and enjoy being with someone that actually shows me affection for once. I think that: All of the above should be chosen: I should just stop being a jerk....
january2011 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Agree: all the above. You need to remind yourself that your current girlfriend is not your ex. She does not deserve to be punished for someone else's mistakes. Sometimes, it bears repeating to yourself when you are on the cusp of doing something jerkish. Don't let fear ruin a good relationship.
carhill Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 onight, we talked on the phone. She called me out on never calling her. I am not a huge fan of sitting on the phone talking. But I know it means a lot to her so I called her. We talked for a few minutes. We both said bye. She then immediately called me back to tell me that she loves me. So I'm clear, you called her, she called you out for not calling her, then you both hung up after a few moments and then she called you back and told you she loves you. Do I have it right? Youth is wasted on the young. At my age, I'd deal with that for about 30 seconds. At your age, such machinations drug me down the garden path for weeks or months before implosion occurred. Too much 'benefit of the doubt'. I don't feel like we need to see each other every day or talk in person every day....just yet. Maybe I am wrong...? But I need some space sometimes. This is your current style. It might seem problematical if you are married but you're not, right? Each circumstance and relationship and love is different. If you and the young lady are compatible, then your styles will mesh. If not, not. How do you feel when she tells you she loves you?
Divasu Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Not texting/calling/seeing each other every single day, does not make one "a jerk".
darkmoon Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) see a therapist, I mean, what good do you think will come of you telling your girlfriend that you were more affectionate with an ex than her? I see a bit of tactlessness, or maybe even more than a bit, so if you still think of the ex, then i think you are still keen on her deep down, and from what you wrote you couldn't get enough of her no woman wants to hear that the ex was their boyfriend's first choice, I mean you and her were all over each other, don't go on about some ex to your girlfriend, unless you don't mind loosening the bond that you have now, or hurting her feelings, have space, but nicely, having me-time is fair, imho Edited March 31, 2013 by darkmoon
Leigh 87 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 It is very important to note that: you could not get enough of your ex, and yet with your current girl, you do not want to be as physically close with her. It was not clear to me: did you hug your ex more and act more affectionate to your ex because you liked her more than your current girl? You have been with your girlfriend for 2 months: after being with your EX for 2 months, did you feel more strongly about her, than you do about your current girl? You need to figure out: are you behaving like this because your not as interested in your current girl as you were about your ex? OR Do you like your current girl just fine, just as much as you liked your ex after to months with her, and hold back your affection for reasons NOT related to how much you like/liked both girls?
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