Eja5389 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Hello all, My name is EJ and here is my story! My wife and I met in March of 09, We started living together the following month! we had out daughter June 18, 2010. We broke up around august of 2011. we still lived together, she move out to one of her friends house to help babysit and house sit and all that, that didnt work out so she moved back in( i was at my moms house at the time) once she moved back in, she started wanting casual sex from me, and at the time she was talking to her ex and i was talking to one of my exes. She was on and off with her ex, she ended up pregnant, and they split up! by then she had an apartment with her sister and her sisters boyfriend. When she got pregnant the date of conception was close to the time her and i were having sex. so i THOUGHT HE could be mine. But she was certain it was his. Since iwas talking to my ex i let her know that, her and i had sex and my ex did not like that and we stopped talking. So after that my wife and I started talking again and we ended up getting back together around may or june of last year. We got our own apartment around august and we ended up getting married on Jan 12th 2013. When we got back together she was about 4-5 months pregnant! with someone elses child. It did not bother me, i would raise him as my own. The other guy didnt seem to care about the baby OR she didnt want him to do anything with the baby. whatever the case may be, he stayed away. The baby was born, I was in the delivery room, I have been there since almost the beginning. and when our son turned 3 months, the father petitioned us to court for paternity testing. so we went, That is when it went down hill.. around feb she started talking to him, about more than just the baby! i stressed to her that their convo's should only be about the baby. then the father wanted to meet the baby and see him and stuff. so i trusted her enough to take the baby to see him, at first it would be in public, at retaurants and stuff, then at his house( he lives with his parents) Come to find out, towards the end of feb, she tells me while im at school that she wants to go hang out with a friend, in chesapeake, so when i got home from school she left around 11 pm. I just happened to be looking at our banks and she had a transaction in hampton( where he lives, right down the street) that is when i got the kids in the car and drove to his house, and caught her there..come to find out he had kissed her and they have been talking about "missing eachother and wanting eachother". We tried to work through things and about a week ago, she tells me she thinks she loves him...and now she wants a divorce , we still live together and i have no rights over jonah, only my daughter Kiley. the past week i have told her this is serious, and that you better be sure and serious about this, because this is a MARRIAGE now not a relationship. Still no feed back, so i eventually told her ok thats fine, i see what you want, i wont bug anymore, i told her how i felt, how it was messed up and that i felt used because she came back with me when she was pregnant and alone.. and now i am attached to jonah with NO rights and its not fair.. well the guy thought it was a good idea to message me on FB and talk crap, he threatened me and everything. soo i went to a precinct and submited a complaint, they arrested him for a class 6 felony. And i also went to see a lawyer about a divorce, i am told if i caught her at his house, that is grounds for divorce. so that is what is happening. when i file for divorce, custody is filed as well, thats just how VA works. I am honestly ok with this at the moment. i just want it to be over with. i want the apartment to myself with my daughter. but we will see what happens! Well that is my story, thoughts? comments?
Techie Artist Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Seems that you have clearly stated what you want and can visualize where you want to be. She has commitment issues. It's good that you're able to move on. I would check paternity on any child I thought was mine if I were a male. Jus' sayin'. It's not expensive. WTG with calling cops. Make sure folks know you're not a wuss. Good luck.
Mr. Lucky Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 the past week i have told her this is serious, and that you better be sure and serious about this, because this is a MARRIAGE now not a relationship. The two of you had a child together when you were only in a "relationship" so I'm not sure how a piece of paper binds you more closely. Commitment seems like a flexible concept for both of you - you're together, you're apart, you're split but sleeping together, you're split but sleeping with ex's. From all this drama comes the mess you're in now. I feel for both of you but more so for your two kids ... Mr. Lucky 1
Author Eja5389 Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 Thank you for your replies! Yes it sucks for the kids because they didn't ask to be in the middle of this. But it also sucks that the boy I've been raising as my own. I have no right over. But what I can do? Live and ya learn. As far as my daughter I will fight for her. And I have a good case. I will def be filing for divorce on the grounds of adultery. She told me she was getting a hotel room to have some alone time. So I had a friend drive me by the guys house and her car is there. So now I have a witness. That is twice I've caught her out there at his house. My lawyer said I would need a 3 rd an outside witness. Which is why I did this. Idc about the wife. My concern is my daughter. And of course my step son. But I can't do anything about him I was stupid for still sleeping with her and talking to my ex. I could've had something good with a good woman. But I screwed it up. It's life! Time to move on!
Mr. Lucky Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 It's life! Time to move on! Hopefully you're moving on with some knowledge gained. Meet>friendship>love>courtship>marriage>family There's a reason it's normally done in this order as it gives you plenty of time to understand the person you're choosing... Mr. Lucky 1
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