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How would I go about asking out this older lady?


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Posted

First of all, I am 19, and I find one of the managers of my university's dining halls very attractive. Based on looks alone, she is probably 25-30. I want to ask her out, or at least talk to her and make her laugh. However, I'm not entirely sure how to go about this. I know that there's not much help that can be given here, but I'm looking for anything. As far as cheesy pick-up lines go, although I'm not sure if this counts as "cheesy" because i't's actually sincere, I was thinking about saying:

 

"I've been trying to think of the right words to use to approach you, but I often became stumped. However, I figured something is better than nothing, so... Hey, I'm Dan."

 

Again, I'm not sure how much help you can give, but I'll take any advice. One thing that's troubling is how exactly to talk to her. As one of the managers, she's sometimes out on the floor, but she's recording data on the food such as the temperature, or she's talking to one of the servers; in other words, she's hardly alone and not busy. Should I just ask her as she's alone and recording data? Or, should I wait until she goes and gets a drink from a specific dispenser, and I could talk about how that drink is also my favorite (vanilla soy milk).

One thing that I'm worried about is that she'll just shrug me off as a student; at least, I feel like that's the case if I approach the situation too bluntly. I feel like I have to say something to make her laugh, but I know absolutely nothing about her. A part of me was considering getting a job in that particular dining hall. That way, due to the environment, we'll be placed in the same location, and she would end up talking to me a few times at the very least, and I'll be able to try and say something then. However, I'm not sure if that is the best for a few reasons, one of which is that the semester ends in six weeks.

 

I don't necessarily expect this to be successful (although I want it to, of course), but a part of me is willing to give it a shot anyway. I've talked to an older woman in a similar manner before, but I never technically asked anyone out, and don't really know how...

 

Again, any help or advice available will be greatly appreciated. Merci.

Posted

so 25-30 is now considered 'older lady' status?

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Posted

I added that because I felt that the fact that she could be 10 years my senior was of significance in trying to ask her out. I do not consider 25-30 to be "older" anything per se.

Posted
I want to ask her out, or at least talk to her and make her laugh.

 

You pretty much answered your own question, right here.

  • Author
Posted
You pretty much answered your own question, right here.

 

But how should I go about doing this? Do I try applying for a job at the same location in order to be in the same environment, in which she'll eventually have to talk to me as a part of her job and I can just be casual then? I feel like that may be construed as creepy or something; perhaps I'm overthinking. I don't know.

Posted

Darling, I'm sorry - I wouldn't bother if I were you.... Truly.

 

At 19, you're not even "Fully cooked" yet......

 

Kind regards, a 56-year-old - much older - lady.....;)

Posted
so 25-30 is now considered 'older lady' status?

 

That's exactly what I was thinking LOL. But seriously OP, until you're 21 I wouldn't bother fishing in that pool because I don't know too many "older ladies" who would date a guy that can't enter a bar or club. In the interim there is nothing wrong with talking to her, trying to make her laugh, and flirting a little. If nothing else you'll get some practice and she'll be flattered.

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Posted

You ask her out, duh. Also don't mention her being 'older' to her face otherwise you may find out the hard way that she's really 22.

Posted

Yeah, whatever you do, don't call her an "older lady".

 

Ever.

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Posted

I wasn't planning on it. Again, I only added it to try and help others with delivering more appropriate and suitable advice, for I figured if I left that exempt, then you would be of the assumption that she was more my age group.

 

Yeah, I figured that not even being of enough age to allow me access to most bars is a pretty decent sized disadvantage, but I figured that could be overlooked. I know it's impossible to assure that she'll overlook it though, so there's not much hope in that aspect.

Posted (edited)

As someone who will be 29 this month and look young, I can understand why some men would ask me out. If they knew my age, they wouldn't ever ask me out because I'm much older than they are. Having said that, I'm still almost 30. You couldn't pay me to date a teenager. I certainly wouldn't change your job over this woman though. She may be 22 but she could also be in a relationship with another man. In Canada, you are legal, but even then, I'm not a drinker so that wouldn't matter to me so much as our lives being so different and wanting different things.

 

The difference between someone my age and someone your age is huge and I have no idea what we would have in common. I am married now and want babies and to be a mother. At 19, you are probably nowhere near thinking about children. You're still a youngin' yourself. :) That's why I wouldn't date you. I'm not saying she wouldn't, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't waste your time and certainly don't change jobs to be closer to her.

Edited by ForeverHopeful1
Posted

Give it a shot, Parchiz. When I was around your age probably about half the women I dated were older than I was: 23, 26, one around 33. Of course, two of them were crazy, but what the hell, that's dating.

 

Talk to her like a person and a woman. I can't give you a script.

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