lissa90 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Where do I go from here? We haven't spoken for four measly hours and already this is torture. How do you get over someone who you love, and also loves you? Obviously I plan to throw myself into my education (I'm training to be a counsellor, how ironic) and I'm starting the gym next week. I just feel so lost, alone and hurting so bad. I keep wanting to go back and tell him I am happy just to be his friend, but in the end I know I will only want more from it and I will get my hopes up. I just miss him so very much and I am worrying myself sick about how he is taking things. Any tips? I don't want to hang out with friends, I would call them friends anymore - more drinking buddies or "mummy friends"
RiceaRoni Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Take things a day at a time,step by step, minute by minute,etc. I understand how you're feeling, but now you gotta do things for you and just you alone. If you two love each other like you claim, things should fall into place, but for now give yourself some time to relax and calm down. Go get a pedicure, massage, go for a walk, watch things that will make you laugh, etc. Keep your mind busy for now and clear your head.
destroyed4sho Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Start with complete NC today.....work on yourself, fight for yourself, read this forum and get advice, read some self-help books. The first 2-3 weeks are just pure hell. But everyone has to go through it. It gets better I think after 3 months of NC...(where I am at now).
Author lissa90 Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 Thankyou for the quick replies guys, I appreciate it. I'm trying to get my head around the fact this guy won't be in my life anymore after constant contact and seeing each other all the time despite a 300 mile distance. 3 months..well done! 3 days makes me want to weep haha.
anna121 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 It sucks. Always and every time. You just have to muddle through it. Do you have any friends who are funny and light? Get one of them to take you someplace and make you laugh. Even 30 minutes is good. I find getting deep into some mundane task can help. Like cleaning your closets. Avoid alcohol for now. Eat your favourite foods. It will get better.
cavalier99 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 6 to 12 months pure NC usually gets rid of the hurt. Hang strong! Cav
NewPerspective93 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Getting over someone is not walk in the park, it takes time. Some people take months to get over someone, and even then, they still harbor some feelings, but not as strong as they once were. I feel that one's feelings don't ever go away, they just decrease in importance. For instance, you might still love an ex but you might be able to tolerate them because those feelings and affections you once had for them aren't as strong as they were. Good, you put your efforts into something that is all YOU (obviously your education). Everyone feels lost and alone during these hard times, so take comfort in knowing you are not alone. Well, I would suggest you take up a hobby to get you thinking about other things. The gym sounds like a superb idea! Go out and do what you can. We all miss our ex's and loved ones, but it is up to you to see how far you can go without them. Don't worry about how the other person feels. I don't mean to sound heartless here, but sometimes they don't feel the way you think. If that were the case, you'd be together right now, not being in this "torture" you speak of. I say this because wondering how they're doing will drive you crazy, being all analytical and whatnot. Regardless, feel free to vent here. I hope you the best in this journey. Cheers. 1
SharkTooth Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Grab on to whatever gives you strength. Go shopping, buy a new car, do something you would never do where you know no one. Keep coming back here, search old threads. When you find someone you relate to, check out their other posts. What helped me when I didn't want to go out and just sit in the house was to watch Comedy Movies. It took at little while but eventually you do laugh again and laughing is the best medicine! Most importantly, always remember that you are very special and there are lots of people out there that know that. And the cool thing, some of these people you haven't met yet! I wish you the very best! 1
Recommended Posts