snilljente Posted September 12, 2004 Posted September 12, 2004 I ran into my ex and his new gf last night.....where he works (but supposedly only on Sats...so being Fri, I thought I was "safe)...My girlfriend and I walk into the bar and it wasn't that full yet, so we hear a male voice say "There's Emily!"....and then another male voice say, "Right there, that's her"...out of the corner of my eye I could see that my ex was standing there with his new gf and that a buddy of his was also there with his gf....I could not believe their reaction....I am 35...I was having flashbacks to high school...it was so embarassing and such a weird way for them to react....So, obviously, my girlfriend and I left, and went somewhere else... At the next place we ran into a couple funny guys who offered to share their table with us....turns out one of the guys is her (ex's new gf's) BEST FRIEND......so, he finds out that this guy is my ex when we start talking about how this new place is so much better than the old bar and that I was just at the old bar and ran into an ex and it was uncomfortable, so that is what brought me to the new bar for the first time.....I just mentioned that this ex worked at the other place 1 night a week....This stranger guy gets this weird look on his face and says, please don't tell me his name is Nick....Anyways, that's how it all came up....He starts asking questions and I start telling him some of the stuff that I experienced wtih this guy and he is like, oh my god, Katie (ex's new gf) is my best friend, I am so worried about her...and text messages her and tells her he needs to talk to her asap about the guy she is dating (keep in mind that she has already been informed by family and friends who know me about what he has done to me, how he cruelly ended things, his arrest record, etc....) She calls me the next morning and wants to know if there is more about NIck that I haven't told her because her friend that met me is freaking out...(as if what i have already told her isn't bad enough)....I told her that I am trying to move on with my life and that meeting her best friend was just a coincidence and that I don't know who to trust anymore, that I am not sure if I want to talk to her...that Nick hurt me, that seeing him was still painful and that that is why we left the first bar when we saw he was there and went to another place. Against my best judgement, , we end up talking for about 25 minutes and she is excusing everything that he has done to me and that she has heard about him, saying that he had told her the truth, bla bla bla and that he has changed alot since she started dating him (in the last month!!)...that he told her that he hadn't felt this way about someone in a while (yeah, it had been at least 2 to 3 weeks since he told me that he had only felt this way once before in his life).... ALSO, she said he told her that he ran because I wanted a serious commitment....?! I said that this was not true and that I TOLD HIM that I did not want a serious commitment...that I just wanted to continue to hang out and see what happened and that him believing that I wanted this and getting scared, is a result of his stuff and his insecurities and not anything that I did or said, or anything that is reality based.....Gr!!!!! I don 't get this guy....Why pull out the ring, talk about marriage, kids, cars, houses, dogs, etc....only to freak out and say that I wanted a serious commitment...he did/said much more to indicate that he wanted this and I was more of the reserved one.... Why is this girl calling me....Why did he suddenly leave me for someone else.....why would he be so cruel to act that way that he did when I walked into the bar and he saw me.....His new gf said that if I had just said hello, he would have reciprocated...I told her that I have given him more than enough opportunities to do the decent thing, to just pick up the phone and tell me what was really up/that he wanted to break up and he never has, so I don't feel the need to say hello to him....Am I in the Twilight Zone or are these people strange....I was falling in love with guy.....I told him that I didn't play games, was honest and expected the same in return...he told me that he was not gonna run...that he cared, that we were close.....He is 33, she is 24.....someone please explain..I feell like I am in a bad soap opera...I live in a city of about 130,000 people....I don't seem to be able to escape someone who knows him, or someone who knows someone who knows someone...you get the point....He hurt me so bad...I won't talk to her again if she calls..I KNOW this....she needs to decide what she wants to do on her own...I am trying to move on...but please help me understand....!!!
Merin Posted September 13, 2004 Posted September 13, 2004 Well to begin with this, Nick sounds like an immature **** who at 33 for real should have a better grip on reality and should have been an adult about the end of the relationship between the two of you. Regarding his new girlfriend, obviously he is putting his best foot forward with her right now just the way he did with you in the start of your relationship it is always easy for people to be on thier best behaviour in a new relationship. She is going to brush away everything and anything that could be negative regarding him, and it really doesn't matter what you tell her about him, she will believe him because she wants to. He is going to tell her that you're crazy or that you canot accept that the relationship ended blah blah because obviously if he told her what an a**h*** he had been it doesn't exactly attract this girl or give her reason to want to stay with him. I wouldn't worry about him being stupid when he saw you and your friend to begin with, obviously this guy is just immature you know? AND beleive that if he couldn't overcome that when you were with him, he isn't going to now. If she calls you again, I would tell her that you're not interested in discussing the relationship you HAD with Nick, that it is over, that you're glad it's over and getting on with your life and you wish her luck period end of story. He sucks! LOL so at this point even though it's hard to get over, time will help you and just look at what an idiot he is STILL being and thank God someone else now is putting up with it;)
Author snilljente Posted September 13, 2004 Author Posted September 13, 2004 Yeah, I thought his behavior was unbelievably immature...but then again, with time, I started to wonder if I was the nutty one because he was such an ass and my feelings were hurt and I was just confused...I appreciate your input....You're right about being able to put on the good guy act in the beginning....she justified how he "ended" (or didn't end!) things with me by saying that she knows alot of guys who do this to girls and that while she doesn't agree with it, it is "just how guys act"....I told her that he was the first guy to do this to me for as long as I can remember (since I was 15 I think) and that he knew my situation and what I had been through (divorce, etc.) and he promised not to hurt me/leave etc...and that this is what made his eventual behavior even more painful. You are right..she is gonna believe what she wants to and he is telling her exactly what she wants her to hear....What an a#$!! Now he's her A#%!
Merin Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 LOL for real right?! At least now he is her problem to deal with...... and seriously it's a good thing that Miss thang has such an open mind to "guys being guys" because she is going to need that frame of mind when he starts pulling his bull**** on her, and he will!
Author snilljente Posted September 14, 2004 Author Posted September 14, 2004 But she says "he's changed" since he started dating her because she doesn't let him get away with things....Geez....love IS blind....Anyways, I am definitely going to take your advice and tell her if she calls again that I am not interested in being her relationship therapist....and that she should just leave me alone....Did I mention that she said she hopes that she and I can, her words, "coexist".....What the &*%$ does this mean...? She was a weirdo...I am pretty open to different types of people, but talking to her for the short time that I did really got on my nerves...just the way she stated things.....oddball....
Merin Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 *whew* Co exist uh? Well, yeah i'm sure he has changed:rolleyes: AND i'm sure he is going to "change" again just like he did in the relationship he had with you. Blah! LOL there isn't any telling her what a piece of crap he is because again she doesn't want to believe it. So all good ya know? She will find out on her own that Nick "changes" a lot! Can't we all just get along?!
Author snilljente Posted September 14, 2004 Author Posted September 14, 2004 Yeah, can we all just COEXIST"?! he he....and now, let's all hold hands and sit in a cirlce and sing Kumbaya......What?! She's a weirdo....thanks for keeping me sane with your responses!!
Merin Posted September 14, 2004 Posted September 14, 2004 omg! so funny uh! She's got nothin on Rodney King! That the new one i'm gonna use now! "Can't we all just CO~exist" LMAO that is right up there with........... "Do you need a hug?" "Do you hear my words?" "Looks like someone needs to sit in the happy chair"
Author snilljente Posted September 14, 2004 Author Posted September 14, 2004 That's why the title of this post was the Dating Twilight Zone"...because I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone when I was talking to her....she also used the word "gnarly" which I hadn't hear, let alone used in a good 10, 15 years...so after getting out my dictionary..I found out it means, "not good, messed up?!"...Back in my day, when the word gnarly was used, it was in relation to waves at the beach and surfers used it to describe really good, big waves...Apparently, that's not what it means these days! Damn, hate when they go and change things on me like that. I am starting to feel real old...but I don't think that even when I was 24 (like her), I was saying "gnarly"....Oh well, he's got himself one gnarly chick to coexist with! HA!!
Author snilljente Posted September 14, 2004 Author Posted September 14, 2004 I didn't really get out my dictionary (don't worry!)...I was just being a smart A$%! he he
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