Lostinlife4now Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Really? The way you supported your friend in her crisis was to sit her down and drum into her head that the OW was better than her? Just WOW! She is a BIG narcissist......I wasn't the only one who helped DRUM it into her head....Her therapist did also!
Author TheOW Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 How date you !! How f*cking dare you - get off my thread ! My mothering abilities are not up for discussion I am a great mother, I answered the door to stop this once and for all, he says she will stop I believe him as I said before I know him you do not ! He has been coward and freely admits that but he doesn't want to lose her so he will work harder, he is away to clear the air. Don't even for one second think I am putting my babies at risk she comes after me again I will put her down! SS are not a concern because they know the allegations are not real I have nothing to worry about there. 1 1
Lostinlife4now Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 This woman went to a therapist who told her the woman her husband was cheating with was better than her? Back to the topic, if this woman has enough money at her disposal to run out and rent you an apartment, what is stopping her from having enough money to hire a PI to have her husband followed? Then she will know that once again he is sneaking around continuing to be in contact with you. She had alot of other problems also. Her husband cheating on her was the best thing for all involved. I know it sounds crazy...but she is ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL today! And so is he. All's well that ends well. Especially in this case. Not all affairs are of swords and fire. Some actually do help people see the error of their ways!!!!
Author TheOW Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 Their problem not mines, me and him said our piece, it's done .. Over! He may even tell her about coming to see me I don't know but I won't lie to her if she asks, we have CCTV installed so if she wishes she can see he never entered my home. I can assure you though the vengeance game has finished I won't put up with it anymore, I've been very lenient on her because it is my fault she is reacting this way, but that's enough now. 15 years of martial arts has prevented me from throttling her. 1 1
Lostinlife4now Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Their problem not mines, me and him said our piece, it's done .. Over! He may even tell her about coming to see me I don't know but I won't lie to her if she asks, we have CCTV installed so if she wishes she can see he never entered my home. I can assure you though the vengeance game has finished I won't put up with it anymore, I've been very lenient on her because it is my fault she is reacting this way, but that's enough now. 15 years of martial arts has prevented me from throttling her. OW... You have alot of self control.....I would have put her down already if she had done things to me or my children. Especially if I have known martial arts. That's why I DON'T OWN A GUN!
Author TheOW Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 Martial arts gives u self control, that was why I was enrolled in various types at a young age to control my anger issues and stop lashing out physically. 1
Lostinlife4now Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Martial arts gives u self control, that was why I was enrolled in various types at a young age to control my anger issues and stop lashing out physically. Oh, I understand.....Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have never had the opportunity to learn how to control my anger issues. Now it's too late....I just say what I feel WITH NO FILTER! LOL... Too old to care!!!!!
Author TheOW Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 Never too late or too old to learn martial arts there are numerous types for all ages, and it gives you a great ass ;-) It really does help your self control, maybe not your tongue but definitely your fists
Lostinlife4now Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Never too late or too old to learn martial arts there are numerous types for all ages, and it gives you a great ass ;-) It really does help your self control, maybe not your tongue but definitely your fists My problem is MY TONGUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh BTW....I already have a great ass! Do pilates and treadmill! Thanks SISTA!!!!!!:laugh::laugh: 1
ThatJustHappened Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 This woman went to a therapist who told her the woman her husband was cheating with was better than her? Back to the topic, if this woman has enough money at her disposal to run out and rent you an apartment, what is stopping her from having enough money to hire a PI to have her husband followed? Then she will know that once again he is sneaking around continuing to be in contact with you. You know, I wouldn't be surprised if that happened. That's what happened to me. Except I was the betrayed significant other and it was the crazy OW who was having my ex boyfriend and I followed. Although on the plus side, apparently I photograph really well from across the street.. 2
2sunny Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Am I correct in thinking that you believe he won't see you or contact you again?
Author TheOW Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 That's impossible he lives only a few streets away from me but I can assure you it is the last "contact" we will have. I told him so as well, I've let him go he has to let me go as well he has alot of work to do to repair his marriage, he loves his wife that's not debatable he's just not been thinking straight. Anyway they are away now, this month away is what we all need. He comes to my door again (which i doubt) and he will receive a kick in his prized possessions. And I will tell his wife !! He knows this too he has been warned. 2
Decorative Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Very good post TOW. As long as you are on the mind of MM there is no chance for successful reconciliation with the wife. This man is madly in love with you and he cannot reconnect with his wife as long as he loves you. He will need to get you out of his system before he can have any meaningful connection with the wife. And this will be a formidable task if you live a couple of streets from his house. He will see you regularly up and about the sidewalks and he will never get you out of his system. Why does he stay married? Really?/ It is all out in the open, why stay in this marriage? How come women end the marriage and men never do? This is so repetitive in the forum. BTW, I still believe you will fall if he shows up at your door to make love to you. I don't think you can resist. Dude. People break up. And don't spend the rest of their lives " madly in love" with their ex. Especially when a situation has been so utterly destructive. I agree with no contact, because it breaks an addictive pattern- in any relationship. But for the love of peanut butter- quit acting as if OW is kryptonite and men are powerless around her, and the wife is an "elderly" remnant or whatever else you called her. The whole situation is a giant mess. And unfortunately for OW- this affair is far more about what's wrong with the MM than her in particular. Quit telling her fairy stories. You aren't helping. 2
2sunny Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Nah, I think this M-OM is just a very selfish cake eater. He's trying to still figure out how to have both. 3
Author TheOW Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 Nah, I think this M-OM is just a very selfish cake eater. He's trying to still figure out how to have both. Well he ain't having me again I'm going to purchase metal knickers with a padlock and throw away the key .......
Lostinlife4now Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Very good post TOW. As long as you are on the mind of MM there is no chance for successful reconciliation with the wife. This man is madly in love with you and he cannot reconnect with his wife as long as he loves you. He will need to get you out of his system before he can have any meaningful connection with the wife. And this will be a formidable task if you live a couple of streets from his house. He will see you regularly up and about the sidewalks and he will never get you out of his system. Why does he stay married? Really?/ It is all out in the open, why stay in this marriage? How come women end the marriage and men never do? This is so repetitive in the forum. BTW, I still believe you will fall if he shows up at your door to make love to you. I don't think you can resist. As long as you are on the mind of MM there is no chance for successful reconciliation with the wife. This is so true!!!!!!!!!!
Decorative Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Dudette: Yes, people break up all the time. However, affair break ups are different. The break up of people in open relationships is a natural death of a relationship that became stale. The break up of people in affairs is usually precipitated by external forces. Then, the affair folks have to break up during the most intense romantic part of the relationship. SO it is much harder to do. And I believe this older man is in love with the young woman. He is in love within the affair compartment and as we can see MM will not leave his wife. His love for TOW only works in the sphere of the affair. Nevertheless it will hindrance his recovery. Carry on, then. At least I tried.
Decorative Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Nah, I think this M-OM is just a very selfish cake eater. He's trying to still figure out how to have both. You. betcha. 2
Spark1111 Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 That's impossible he lives only a few streets away from me but I can assure you it is the last "contact" we will have. I told him so as well, I've let him go he has to let me go as well he has alot of work to do to repair his marriage, he loves his wife that's not debatable he's just not been thinking straight. Anyway they are away now, this month away is what we all need. He comes to my door again (which i doubt) and he will receive a kick in his prized possessions. And I will tell his wife !! He knows this too he has been warned. I think his running to you and your speaking with him is all a tactic on HIS part to ensure you and she never sit down calmly and compare notes on what is being told either woman. And it is working, really, really well....because now you and she hate each other and he is good at portraying himself as the innocent, cowardly victim of it all. Just as he garnered your empathy and stroked your ego with stories and apologies about his wife and his feelings for you, I bet he is doing the very same thing to her about you. So it works. You two will never sit and talk and compare notes and I think that is a crying shame because I am sure there is lots you could learn from each other. 5
2sunny Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 MM is much older than TOW. He is older than TOW's H and that relationship did not work. MM knows this, TOW knows this. MM cannot think straight and he is still in the post d-day fog. BW is also in a major fog trying to digest in a few days this long term affair. TOW is more composed because she had nothing to lose. She wanted out of her marriage and for her the d-day was a blessing regarding the ending of her marriage. Poor MM is between a rock and a hard place. He knows he cannot make it work with TOW and he has to deal with the withdrawal from that relationship which is the last hurrah of his romantic life. MM is cooked. BW is cooked. The only one with a chance is TOW. But, she needs intense therapy to figure out why she thought an affair with a guy old enough to be her dad was a good idea. Ah yes, but the MM and BS attempt to make it look all pretty with a vacation away! Talk about a farce and a cover up!
Author TheOW Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 I think his running to you and your speaking with him is all a tactic on HIS part to ensure you and she never sit down calmly and compare notes on what is being told either woman. And it is working, really, really well....because now you and she hate each other and he is good at portraying himself as the innocent, cowardly victim of it all. Just as he garnered your empathy and stroked your ego with stories and apologies about his wife and his feelings for you, I bet he is doing the very same thing to her about you. So it works. You two will never sit and talk and compare notes and I think that is a crying shame because I am sure there is lots you could learn from each other. No notes need be compared my H and his W had a lengthily conversation about both our sides and they were exact the same ... And I did not lie to my husband.
Spark1111 Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 No notes need be compared my H and his W had a lengthily conversation about both our sides and they were exact the same ... And I did not lie to my husband. But you and your H are now separated and heading towards divorce, yes? And MM is still in contact with you and has shown up at your door, right? So both your stbxH and his wife do not know of his continued contact, I believe? And my guess is she suspects, or is finding evidence of it. Just be very careful here. This is a very volatile and potentially dangerous place to be. NO MORE CONTACT with him or her.
Got it Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Carry on, then. At least I tried. Decor - head meet wall. Sorry for the bruising. 1
Lostinlife4now Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 MM is much older than TOW. He is older than TOW's H and that relationship did not work. MM knows this, TOW knows this. MM cannot think straight and he is still in the post d-day fog. BW is also in a major fog trying to digest in a few days this long term affair. TOW is more composed because she had nothing to lose. She wanted out of her marriage and for her the d-day was a blessing regarding the ending of her marriage. Poor MM is between a rock and a hard place. He knows he cannot make it work with TOW and he has to deal with the withdrawal from that relationship which is the last hurrah of his romantic life. MM is cooked. BW is cooked. The only one with a chance is TOW. But, she needs intense therapy to figure out why she thought an affair with a guy old enough to be her dad was a good idea. Very true statement Pierre! xMM had stated something very similar to me when I walked away! "He can never have anything with his W again after me." That part of his life is over! (actually felt sorry for him) and he is still young in his middle forties! I am now a business man and a father. That's it!
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