Junkshakemail Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Hello all, I just got engaged (3months) ago to my long time girlfriend for about 9 years, we love each other very much and are looking forwarding to getting married in 2 years. We are currently in a long distance relationship. She is a very kind and caring woman but this is driving me crazy, for the past 3 days we were so happy and talkative and loved each others company but now all of a sudden she seems so distant. She is unresponsive and doesn't seem like she wants to talk and after some time she get back being normal. Generally during that period I ask her whats bothering her and why is she acting different and we fight. I dont know how to deal with her mood swings.. Should I just keep my distance during that time, cause every time I try to get us to talk I get pissed because it doesn't seem like she wants to talk yet she comes online when I ask her to talk... Any help is appreciated
ChatroomHero Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Generally during that period I ask her whats bothering her and why is she acting different and we fight. I think you hit the nail on the head. No point asking for a reason, just use it as your alone time. 3
Author Junkshakemail Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 So I should just keep a distance during these awful swinging time (LOL) This time its after her period so its not PMS and she is 23
ChatroomHero Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 So I should just keep a distance during these awful swinging time (LOL) Yeah, don't expect rational answers. Sometimes it's really tough but you have to smile and walk away until it is safe. Good time for a long session at the gym and a trip around Home Depot. Even if it is not, pretend it's that time of the month. lol 2
mhm407 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I think you hit the nail on the head. No point asking for a reason, just use it as your alone time. If ChatroomHero is right about the period thing (and it sounds like a strong possibility if this is a pattern with her), then I agree - don't take it personally. It has nothing to do with you. I'm a woman who can get positively horrendous PMS, with some months being MUCH worse than others (still haven't figured out why that is). When I have it bad, it makes me severely depressed, weepy, and mad at the world. Seriously, if I didn't have to go out and earn a living I would isolate myself from everyone for the week prior to my period, 1) to prevent damage to my relationships with people and 2) simply because I don't *want* to deal with anyone when I'm feeling that way.
dasein Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 If everything else is fine, then it's just a quirk you will either live with or won't. If this has been growing recently, it needs to be addressed. Thoughtful adults don't inflict mood swings on their partners, period. They deal with it internally and take steps not to inflict such on their mate. 1
mhm407 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Oops, saw after I posted that you say it can't be PMS. In that case, still don't take it personally. Some people are just plain moody. (I believe a lot of such people probably have issues with depression - there are many different types and degrees of depression.) Don't think that it's about you unless she tells you it is.
Author Junkshakemail Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 Thats exactly my thought, matured adults dont need to inflict their mood swings to their partners and make them feel like some thing is wrong. Since we are in a long distant relationship its getting much harder, for couple of days she is really sweet and the other seems least interested in talking or responding. I will break the pattern this time, I am always the one trying to get us to talk or communicate when this happens...
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