samsungxoxo Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 (edited) My number is 1 so technically I'm almost every man's dream (a woman that doesn't sleep around that is) but there is one problem: I would get creeped out if a man I'm dating asked me ''How many men you've been with'' and will immediately assume he has that double standards towards sex and is likely very judgemental. I will dump a man for that. I was reading a post about a 31 year-old engaged man that was going through that whole drama about a woman's number. Ever since his fiancee recently told him the new number regarding blow jobs (well that's what happens when you asked) he's been doubting the whole relationship. I assumed that a man in his mid-late 20's or early 30's would already have dealt with that drama already about her number and classifying who is wife material vs who isn't and focus on other things or be more mature. But seriously what age do they just stop asking for that? Edited March 30, 2013 by samsungxoxo Link to post Share on other sites
Apolodor Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 How many men a woman has f*cked is irrelevant, or should be irrelevant for people who are just in a casual relationship. However, I am not sure how many men would be proud to know that the mother of their children has been banged by a two-digit number of men..... What I am trying to say is that it is not age related, but rather it depends on the circumstances (casual relationship vs. marriage). Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 (edited) How many men a woman has f*cked is irrelevant, or should be irrelevant for people who are just in a casual relationship. However, I am not sure how many men would be proud to know that the mother of their children has been banged by a two-digit number of men.....Yet we're suppose to accept them if they were to say ''Oh yeah just for your information I was a player that screwed any woman at bars'' and be understanding with their ''but honey everyone has a past, you're the only woman I'm with now'' and not be fearful that he might go back to his old ways, give me an STD and cheat during the relationship or marriage (thus setting a bad example for the kids too). I would leave a man like that if he were to tell me that straight to my face. Then again, I wouldn't ask for his number but expect the same in return (I don't ask but you don't ask me either). Edited March 30, 2013 by samsungxoxo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 (I don't ask but you don't ask me either). It doesn't work that way. it has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with life experiences and personality. Some guys are going to ask even when they are 60, and others have never asked. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 It doesn't work that way. it has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with life experiences and personality. Some guys are going to ask even when they are 60, and others have never asked.But why the question in the first place (I think that's not anyone's business)? See, when they ask it's not just out of curiosity. It's because they want the woman to give them an acceptable number to make them feel better. If she tells the truth, he's gonna end up acting like a cop and go all the way to force her to feel remorse for just being honest. Most of the times when a man asked if because he has that double standard, which is why I would dump him. Link to post Share on other sites
Apolodor Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Yet we're suppose to accept them if they were to say ''Oh yeah just for your information I was a player that screwed any woman at bars'' and be understanding with their ''but honey everyone has a past, you're the only woman I'm with now'' and not be fearful that he might go back to his old ways, give me an STD and cheat during the relationship or marriage (thus setting a bad example for the kids too). I would leave a man like that if he were to tell me that straight to my face. Then again, I wouldn't ask for his number but expect the same in return (I don't ask but you don't ask me either). Most likely no man in his right man will volunteer that information. Men also know that women tend to play down the number of partners with whom they had been..... Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I've never been asked my number. Link to post Share on other sites
Pompeii Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Yet we're suppose to accept them if they were to say ''Oh yeah just for your information I was a player that screwed any woman at bars'' and be understanding with their ''but honey everyone has a past, you're the only woman I'm with now'' and not be fearful that he might go back to his old ways, give me an STD and cheat during the relationship or marriage (thus setting a bad example for the kids too). I would leave a man like that if he were to tell me that straight to my face. Then again, I wouldn't ask for his number but expect the same in return (I don't ask but you don't ask me either). Well, the only rational I can see towards the justification for a high partner count for males is effort. Most men, in order to reach the level where they are able to have sex with a large variety of females of high quality and attractiveness must cultivate a large skillset. This includes social adeptness, exuding sexuality but not being *too* forward, and attempting to stay out of the nice guy zone. In order for a man to get to "player" status, it takes a large amount of a balancing act. That is why men are commended and women are shamed because most men have little barrier to entry for sex. It just simply doesn't take much to get a man in bed for a woman of average attractiveness. I'm not saying it's necessarily right, but I can see where people are coming from when they applaud male players. It at least shows he is attractive to women. And I've noticed that girls like guys who are attractive to other women. Why? I don't know. I wouldn't care if a woman was attractive to other guys, just to me. This is more explained in that "social situations" thread where it seems women are very turned on when their guy is the center of attention. No woman wants an unattractive loser for a boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Yet we're suppose to accept them if they were to say ''Oh yeah just for your information I was a player that screwed any woman at bars'' and be understanding with their ''but honey everyone has a past, you're the only woman I'm with now'' and not be fearful that he might go back to his old ways, give me an STD and cheat during the relationship or marriage (thus setting a bad example for the kids too). I would leave a man like that if he were to tell me that straight to my face. Then again, I wouldn't ask for his number but expect the same in return (I don't ask but you don't ask me either). Men with double standards aren't worth having a relationship with. So good for you for realizing that. In my experience men in their late twenties and up don't ask, they tend to have high numbers themselves that they don't want to reveal so they don't ask about it either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 Most likely no man in his right man will volunteer that information.Exactly... he knows he will get ditched right away. Can't they see this is how a woman with a higher number feels too. Their engagement was ok until he open the can of worms by asking. Men also know that women tend to play down the number of men with whom they had been.....Which is why they shouldn't ask that question esp if they're not gonna be prepare to deal with the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Apolodor Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Well, the only rational I can see towards the justification for a high partner count for males is effort. Most men, in order to reach the level where they are able to have sex with a large variety of females of high quality and attractiveness must cultivate a large skillset. This includes social adeptness, exuding sexuality but not being *too* forward, and attempting to stay out of the nice guy zone. In order for a man to get to "player" status, it takes a large amount of a balancing act. That is why men are commended and women are shamed because most men have little barrier to entry for sex. It just simply doesn't take much to get a man in bed for a woman of average attractiveness. I'm not saying it's necessarily right, but I can see where people are coming from when they applaud male players. It at least shows he is attractive to women. And I've noticed that girls like guys who are attractive to other women. Why? I don't know. I wouldn't care if a woman was attractive to other guys, just to me. This is more explained in that "social situations" thread where it seems women are very turned on when their guy is the center of attention. No woman wants an unattractive loser for a boyfriend. Amen to that! Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Never asked, don't want to know. Leave the past in the past. Besides, be careful what you ask for....you may not like the truth. Not an age thing, rather, insecurity, ego...lack of confidence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pompeii Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 But why the question in the first place (I think that's not anyone's business)? To be perfectly honest, I would hate to marry a woman that was with every guy in town. If a was in a relationship with a girl who slept with every one of my friends and all of my acquaintances, then I would see no pride in being with her. If I'm in a relationship with a girl, it should make me feel great to be with her, that I actually have a prize. And visa-versa. Women who sleep around a lot, especially within my friend circle don't do that for me. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 To be perfectly honest, I would hate to marry a woman that was with every guy in town. If a was in a relationship with a girl who slept with every one of my friends and all of my acquaintances, then I would see no pride in being with her. If I'm in a relationship with a girl, it should make me feel great to be with her, that I actually have a prize. And visa-versa. Women who sleep around a lot, especially within my friend circle don't do that for me. Do you really have to ask a woman's number to know if she slept with your friends or not? And do you think women would like a man who has slept with all her friends? Get real. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 To be perfectly honest, I would hate to marry a woman that was with every guy in town. If a was in a relationship with a girl who slept with every one of my friends and all of my acquaintances, then I would see no pride in being with her. If I'm in a relationship with a girl, it should make me feel great to be with her, that I actually have a prize. And visa-versa. Women who sleep around a lot, especially within my friend circle don't do that for me.I wouldn't mind giving him the answer, which is the truth anyways but he would lose me that very same day. I think it's a creepy question. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 Do you really have to ask a woman's number to know if she slept with your friends or not? And do you think women would like a man who has slept with all her friends? Get real.I sure wouldn't, which why I wouldn't ask nor want to hear it. I know I wouldn't be able to handle that. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 But why the question in the first place (I think that's not anyone's business)? See, when they ask it's not just out of curiosity. It's because they want the woman to give them an acceptable number to make them feel better. If she tells the truth, he's gonna end up acting like a cop and go all the way to force her to feel remorse for just being honest. Most of the times when a man asked if because he has that double standard, which is why I would dump him. stop worrying about they why, and just learn how to deal with the fact some guys are going to ask. again some guys will be uncomfortable if your number is higher, some will be uncomfortable if your number is lower. Trying to understand all the why's will just drive you crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 stop worrying about they why, and just learn how to deal with the fact some guys are going to ask. again some guys will be uncomfortable if your number is higher, some will be uncomfortable if your number is lower. Trying to understand all the why's will just drive you crazy.Then is it ok to be turn off by getting asked that? The reason this has become an issue is because the ''how many you've been with'' is mainly asked by men. They're the ones that are looking for an opportunity to judge us. Needless to say, I wouldn't like being asked that question. So if I don't feel comfortable with a judgemental man with that double standard then I'm guessing I'm in the rights to dump him (as he wouldn't be my match)? Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I know my opinion doesn't count for much, but my policy is don't ask, don't tell. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Then is it ok to be turn off by getting asked that? The reason this has become an issue is because the ''how many you've been with'' is mainly asked by men. They're the ones that are looking for an opportunity to judge us. Needless to say, I wouldn't like being asked that question. So if I don't feel comfortable with a judgemental man with that double standard then I'm guessing I'm in the rights to dump him (as he wouldn't be my match)? How old are you? If the guy is in his early twenties, then maybe give him a break. He is still young and immature and thinks its fun to ask! Young girls also ask that all the time. But if he is older and still asking, yeah dump him. Even if he doesn't have double standards, he is most possibly insecure and immature, none of which you want to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Then is it ok to be turn off by getting asked that? Of course it is, why would you think it is not? The reason this has become an issue is because the ''how many you've been with'' is mainly asked by men. They're the ones that are looking for an opportunity to judge us. I hope your recognize this is your point of view, because I can tell you I have been asked this question a lot. It's a personality thing, not an age or sex thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 don't ask, don't tell. as a side note, you should never use these four words in this order, because of its major cultural/historical reference. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 How old are you? If the guy is in his early twenties, then maybe give him a break. He is still young and immature and thinks its fun to ask! Young girls also ask that all the time. But if he is older and still asking, yeah dump him. Even if he doesn't have double standards, he is most possibly insecure and immature, none of which you want to deal with.I'm going to turn 26 in April (definitely past the early drama issues) and yes I'll keep that in mind. If a guy my age or slightly older is asking for a number, bye bye. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pompeii Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Do you really have to ask a woman's number to know if she slept with your friends or not? And do you think women would like a man who has slept with all her friends? Get real. Don't put words in my mouth. I never said I had to ask her number for that, nor did I say that it acceptable for a guy to do the same. I'm pretty sure that most women wouldn't like a guy sleeping with most of her friends, but to everyone else, he'd be seen as very socially adept and sexually attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 as a side note, you should never use these four words in this order, because of its major cultural/historical reference. I think I'm safe. But next time I'll just make a dead baby joke to drive home my point. Probably less politically incorrect... Link to post Share on other sites
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