OCCDAVE Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Today now marks a week and I havnt heard a sound from her.I broke nc once but still in a span of a week nothing.I won't lie I was holding out maybe everything was sad in the heat of the moment but now eh.Id like this think this time next week will be talking I just don't read many story's where the dumper with more time just pops right up sigh .I feel confused she said she loved me so how can it be so easy to shut those feelings
OJ loved Nicole Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Congratulations!!!! You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you/confused about being with you. As a healthy male you don't try to convince someone who confused/doesn't want to be with you, to not be confused or be with you. Read the "Getting Your Ex Back" link in my signature. 1
Dogstar Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I'm sorry to hear about your problem. I've been there - I'd recommend maintaining no contact. If you contact her first without her having dealt with her feelings = she'll reject you / make her feel more confident in her decision. Trust me - it remains hard but gets better after a few weeks. If she values what you offered to the relationship she'll eventually miss you / be curious. If not then she wasn't the one for you anyway. 2
NewPerspective93 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Hang in there, you'll be fine in the end. Keep with the NC, and don't hold on to false hope; it's a killer. Hoping and wanting her to be sad is not the right move. Sorry you're going through this, but it will get better my friend. Remember that talk is cheap, that's why people tend to switch their words at the end of a break-up. It's true about what they say that actions speak louder than words, not the other way around. Cheers. 2
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 Congratulations!!!! You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you/confused about being with you. As a healthy male you don't try to convince someone who confused/doesn't want to be with you, to not be confused or be with you. Read the "Getting Your Ex Back" link in my signature.maybe I shouldn't have tried to convince but I love her so I thought fighting for her was ok .Tbh I'm kinda embaressed to admit this since I'm a guy but what had me going into a tale spin was fact sex was involved on top of that emotion she showed.I dunno like my friend said maybe u were getting axed anyway but she saw a chance to get a quick fix
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 I have a question most times you get the lets be friends bs the fact it wasnt offered does she not respect me .Reason I ask in order to be lovers you have to be good friends as well right ? Maybe she wasnt into me to begin with sigh .Another sleepless night
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 Well she deleted her face book in a way maybe its a favor for me now I can't creep/stalk it .sigh I miss her so bad
Minneloa Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Well she deleted her face book in a way maybe its a favor for me now I can't creep/stalk it .sigh I miss her so bad I"m sorry you're hurting, but trust me, this is a good thing. Just look at how many posts on this forum feature people torturing themselves over an ex's FB page (or Twitter et. al). All these social media feed obsessive thinking and delay the healing process. I kmow it is painful to you that your ex doesn't want to be friends with you, but the whole friends thing post-break up is usually a disaster for the person who was left. Again, just take a look at the threads where people choose this path and end up getting hurt all over again from false hope of reconciliation. It will get easier if you use this time to grieve your loss and focus on yourself instead of your ex. Sending good thoughts. 1
sweetheart5381 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Well she deleted her face book in a way maybe its a favor for me now I can't creep/stalk it .sigh I miss her so bad I'm sorry you're going through this. You'll get through this part, the first couple of weeks are hard and you are still adjusting to change as well as experiencing a loss. It's in your best interest to steer clear of all forms of communication with her. It's hard but you have to use your will-power to consciously stop the thoughts of her that pop into your head. Distraction is key at this point. Trust the veterans here, we've been there, done that, got the T-shirt...AND we came out the other side. Take care. 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 I won't bs I was doing no good looking at all the social media I just did it to feel close to her.Your right in time it will get better but still hurt/confused how something that small can flip a switch in your head.Maybe when I'm healed we can be friends I dunno tbh.Im def not expecting to hear from her hell my ex wife of 3 years its been a year of nc and not a sound from her
sweetheart5381 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 I won't bs I was doing no good looking at all the social media I just did it to feel close to her.Your right in time it will get better but still hurt/confused how something that small can flip a switch in your head.Maybe when I'm healed we can be friends I dunno tbh.Im def not expecting to hear from her hell my ex wife of 3 years its been a year of nc and not a sound from her IMO one of the hardest parts of a breakup is the abrupt ending/shock of it. One minute you are together and the next you are not - most people have a serious aversion to change. Slowly over time you will adjust to being single again, but you have to be proactive in order to speed the process. Once you adjust, then you can reflect on the relationship rationally and decide if you really want to be "friends". It's funny, I look back at previous relationships now and can see clearly why they could not work and I am glad that they ended. It also helped me to honestly answer the question, "Do I actually miss him, or do I miss the companionship?" In my case it was simply the companionship and that was easily replaced with a more compatible person (actually, I got a dog ). 2
Cogee Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 I won't bs I was doing no good looking at all the social media I just did it to feel close to her.Your right in time it will get better but still hurt/confused how something that small can flip a switch in your head.Maybe when I'm healed we can be friends I dunno tbh.Im def not expecting to hear from her hell my ex wife of 3 years its been a year of nc and not a sound from her I remember with my very first ex it was around the time when social media was just getting started and I would creep on her. At some point I realized what I was doing was no good and cut myself off from social media completely - deleted EVERYTHING! Today I am a much more mature person and don't need to go to such extremely lengths as I can just block out my recent ex on all social media and continue as if she was not even there. I haven't heard from nor contacted my very first ex in like 7 years so just out of curiosity I went to check out her social media today. Today, I feel absolutely nothing while looking at her social media. Time really does heal. Funny enough, she has picked up several of the same hobbies as me along the way but I have zero interest to check on her and probably won't look again for another 7 years.
Author OCCDAVE Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 IMO one of the hardest parts of a breakup is the abrupt ending/shock of it. One minute you are together and the next you are not - most people have a serious aversion to change. Slowly over time you will adjust to being single again, but you have to be proactive in order to speed the process. Once you adjust, then you can reflect on the relationship rationally and decide if you really want to be "friends". It's funny, I look back at previous relationships now and can see clearly why they could not work and I am glad that they ended. It also helped me to honestly answer the question, "Do I actually miss him, or do I miss the companionship?" In my case it was simply the companionship and that was easily replaced with a more compatible person (actually, I got a dog ).tbh it hit me today and I won't lie I cried alot .I won't lie though anger is now how I'm feeling towards her .Not only did you run when a minor speed bump was hit but you never looked back.I know feelings change all the time but what I did Doesnt Warrent a 180 like what happen.Then follow it up with a week where u are sticking to it ?Sigh tbh I'm starting to think she never truly loved me I think I was filling a void ugh
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