Why hasn't he mentioned me to any of his friends or family?

[Joaquin]

I haven't introduced some girls to friends and family because I didn't want friends and family to meet them and wanted to be seen as single. They may have considered us to be in some kinda thing but they never pushed it so... suited fine.

 

It was ALWAYS because I saw them as an awb, not as a gf.

Edited March 30, 2013 by Joaquin

[Ruby Slippers]

How long ago did his divorce actually go through?

[curlygirl40]

I don't think about the outcome of a relationship with a person anymore. I enjoy it when it's good, and leave it when it's clear that it's not right for me.

 

I'm working towards this and it's so hard. Would love to know how you got there. You should make a thread. So I can stalk it. lol

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

I think Chris Rock said it best:

 

"If you are dating a guy and haven't met any of his friends, then YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!"

[curlygirl40]

I think Chris Rock said it best:

 

"If you are dating a guy and haven't met any of his friends, then YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!"

 

I think Steve Harvey has a bit about this in his book as well. He says that you can tell a lot about what a guy thinks about you by how he introduces you to his friends.

 

He says that when you're 'his girl' he will want everyone to know. He'll say 'here's my lady, here's my girl, this is so and so, my girlfriend'. If he just says 'friend' or just introduces you by your first name, then that's a sign that he does not consider you a girlfriend.

 

However, that takes time to get to that point though and 6 weeks, so new after a divorce, I think this guy is just being cautious. Time will tell.

[soccerrprp]

They are exclusive so says the OP. Does exclusivity mean anything? If you're exclusive that doesn't mean that one is not girl/boy friend?

[Ruby Slippers]

I think Steve Harvey has a bit about this in his book as well. He says that you can tell a lot about what a guy thinks about you by how he introduces you to his friends.

 

He says that when you're 'his girl' he will want everyone to know. He'll say 'here's my lady, here's my girl, this is so and so, my girlfriend'. If he just says 'friend' or just introduces you by your first name, then that's a sign that he does not consider you a girlfriend.

So true. I remember when my first really good boyfriend introduced me as his girlfriend for the first time. We hadn't discussed exclusivity or relationship status or anything. We were at a party and a good friend of his came over to say hello. He introduced me to his friend happily and with a huge smile as his girlfriend. I was pleased, but had to hide my surprise. I asked him about it later, and he was like, "Well, aren't you my girlfriend?" And I said yes

 

I'm curious to know how long it's been since the divorce was finalized. My feeling is that this guy hasn't had anywhere near enough time to get over it and won't be ready to make that kind of commitment for a long time. This is good for the OP to be aware of, so she can see the situation for what it truly is.

[hazeleyes2013]

Hi Ruby,

 

I haven't met anyone yet, so I will be curious to see how he introduces me. His divorced was finalized about 8 months ago. We did have a talk about it and I told him exactly how I was feeling. He has the info, how he chooses to use it is his decision. I can say that I feel better that I got it off my chest.

[soccerrprp]

Hi Ruby,

 

I haven't met anyone yet, so I will be curious to see how he introduces me. His divorced was finalized about 8 months ago. We did have a talk about it and I told him exactly how I was feeling. He has the info, how he chooses to use it is his decision. I can say that I feel better that I got it off my chest.

 

Only 8-months ago...still fresh with him.

[hazeleyes2013]

It makes no sense to tell anyone I'm moving away for awhile due to I'm broke but there's this girl I started seeing a few weeks ago that I'm going to commit to in a long distance relationship now that I'm recently divorced.

 

He's got a lot to sort out. Any discussion yet on how much you guys will be getting together during this time? Is it for summer until school starts or something like that or more open ended until he figures something out?

 

You have asked him really good questions. You are definitely not going to get blindsided imo.

 

I agree, he does have a lot to sort out. The reason for the move is a long story but it is definitely not permanent. Yes, we have discussed getting together and have started planning dates/weekends that we will get together. Also, we plan to talk everyday and Skype once in a while (he is only about 2 hours away)

[hazeleyes2013]

I've never been married, so I am not sure how long the healing process takes...I would imagine it is different in every situation. I like this guy but think I have spent too much time obsessing about this situation. I am going to continue to see him, but keep my eyes open. If something doesn't change in the next few months and it starts to make me unhappy, than I have some decisions to make.

[soccerrprp]

I've never been married, so I am not sure how long the healing process takes...I would imagine it is different in every situation. I like this guy but think I have spent too much time obsessing about this situation. I am going to continue to see him, but keep my eyes open. If something doesn't change in the next few months and it starts to make me unhappy, than I have some decisions to make.

 

I think this is the best thing to do. Good luck!

[Leigh 87]

It took my boyfriend abut 5 months after we first met, to introduce me as his girlfriend.

 

When you first meet someone, sometimes you "hang out" first and get to know them, rather than dating them officially from the get go.

 

Especially consider his past; in your case, he is recently divorced, and in my bf's case, he had never EVER introduced a girl to his friends before. Not once, and he was 25.

 

As you can see, we have faced issues that can make a man who may well be crazy about us, take a little longer than usual to officially tell people we are his "girlfriend"

 

It does not mean that he is not into you at all; the divorce could have been with a women who he was in love with and broke his heart. Of course it would take a good year to get over it to the extent where serious dating could feel right.

 

Look, no one online can make a definite assumption about this guy, based on the facts that have been presented to us.

 

In my opinion, this guy has not done anything that DEFINATELY means that he is not into you, because; some guys that are really into a girl DO take a few months to introduce her to his mates.

 

Not all guys who are really into a girl want to go declaring their relationship to all their friends right away; what if she dumps him? It makes sense that some guys feel better waiting until they feel more secure in the relationship before telling people about a girl (opposed to introducing girls early only to get dumped or cheated on, and having to tell his mates when they ask about her)

 

Don't worry YET; while all guys are different, I DO think 5 or 6 months is about the maximum time limit that most girls would feel comfortable with, in regards to a guy introducing them to their friends.

 

By 6 months he should probably know if he is in love, and whether or not this relationship is one that could lead to a long term thing.

 

I would leave a guy if he did not introduce me after a few months. A small amount of guys may wait longer even if they are into the girl, however; the VAST MAJORITY of men who are truly in love and into a girl will introduce them after at least 6 months or less.

 

I would not bother risking it because a small % of men who are into a women would wait several months; I think it is best to go by what most guys who are crazy about a girl, would do.

 

Good luck, I hope it works out, let us know will you; he if ends up doing it soon!

 

Don't talk about it again with him though, he has all the information he needs to know to make the move if he truly wants to:)

[hazeleyes2013]

It took my boyfriend abut 5 months after we first met, to introduce me as his girlfriend.

 

When you first meet someone, sometimes you "hang out" first and get to know them, rather than dating them officially from the get go.

 

Especially consider his past; in your case, he is recently divorced, and in my bf's case, he had never EVER introduced a girl to his friends before. Not once, and he was 25.

 

As you can see, we have faced issues that can make a man who may well be crazy about us, take a little longer than usual to officially tell people we are his "girlfriend"

 

It does not mean that he is not into you at all; the divorce could have been with a women who he was in love with and broke his heart. Of course it would take a good year to get over it to the extent where serious dating could feel right.

 

Look, no one online can make a definite assumption about this guy, based on the facts that have been presented to us.

 

In my opinion, this guy has not done anything that DEFINATELY means that he is not into you, because; some guys that are really into a girl DO take a few months to introduce her to his mates.

 

Not all guys who are really into a girl want to go declaring their relationship to all their friends right away; what if she dumps him? It makes sense that some guys feel better waiting until they feel more secure in the relationship before telling people about a girl (opposed to introducing girls early only to get dumped or cheated on, and having to tell his mates when they ask about her)

 

Don't worry YET; while all guys are different, I DO think 5 or 6 months is about the maximum time limit that most girls would feel comfortable with, in regards to a guy introducing them to their friends.

 

By 6 months he should probably know if he is in love, and whether or not this relationship is one that could lead to a long term thing.

 

I would leave a guy if he did not introduce me after a few months. A small amount of guys may wait longer even if they are into the girl, however; the VAST MAJORITY of men who are truly in love and into a girl will introduce them after at least 6 months or less.

 

I would not bother risking it because a small % of men who are into a women would wait several months; I think it is best to go by what most guys who are crazy about a girl, would do.

 

Good luck, I hope it works out, let us know will you; he if ends up doing it soon!

 

Don't talk about it again with him though, he has all the information he needs to know to make the move if he truly wants to:)

 

Thank you, Leigh! You made a lot of good points...things that I didn't consider. I'm going to relax for now and see what happens. I will definitely let you know what happens....

[bu2002]

I would only introduce a girl once we're exclusive (boyfriend/girlfriend), and physically intimate. If that's 1 month, great. If that's 2 months, fine.