Emma11 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I hope this is the right forum for this. During my breakup I received a slew of criticisms, false accusations and found out he had posted negative things about me online. He ended things in an email. 2 months later I'm left to wonder if I should've responded to the false accusations? They attacked my personal character and he claimed I did and thought things I didn't. I and everyone else knows theyre not true. I think he's bipolar... I was told by my pastor, family and friends it was wise not to respond and I'm still too upset to think about responding. Should I have denied them in a response. But I feel he would have said I'm lying or would have been seen as whiny. Did not responding confirm what he said or did I do the right thing?
lissa90 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 When people are hurt or angry, they will say anything to make themselves feel better or to provoke a response. If you were ignoring him, he may of been saying it to get a reaction from you. Like a child, any reaction is a good one - whether that be positive or negative. You did well by not responding. It would of only added fuel to the fire. The best thing to do is to continue ignoring. If any more emails of sent, perhaps just delete them and not read them. If his mental state is of questionable quality, then there is no need to take what he is saying personally. You and your friends know it is not true. Do not reply back, it will only give him an incentive to keep going 3
chelsea2011 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Lissa90 is right. There is no need to respond because the people that know you and care about you know its not true. You are being the bigger person by not responding to his nonsensical diatribe. Maybe try not looking at what he writes to keep from hurting yourself? It happened to me before too and I ended up coming out better for it all in the end. 3
Author Emma11 Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 When people are hurt or angry, they will say anything to make themselves feel better or to provoke a response. If you were ignoring him, he may of been saying it to get a reaction from you. Like a child, any reaction is a good one - whether that be positive or negative. You did well by not responding. It would of only added fuel to the fire. The best thing to do is to continue ignoring. If any more emails of sent, perhaps just delete them and not read them. If his mental state is of questionable quality, then there is no need to take what he is saying personally. You and your friends know it is not true. Do not reply back, it will only give him an incentive to keep going The email he sent was actually the breakup email (should've mentioned that). He has been doing a couple passive aggressive things too (I guess to get a reaction). I'm sad someone I trusted and cared for so much would actually say the things he did. I never would about him or anyone else, even someone who wasnt my favorite person. He ended it saying he didn't want to talk about it...I have no idea what happened so suddenly.
lissa90 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Unfortunately just because you wouldn't do it, doesn't mean someone else won't be mean and cruel. You know the insults he hurled at you were untrue and it shows that he cants be adult and mature. I understand you must be feeling confused about what has happened but if he could possibly be bi polar, then it would be difficult to get any answers from him. As much as it hurts, do not contact him, he may say some other nasty things that you do not need to hear and hurt you further
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