irc333 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 ....but, what if you get one of those women that don't care for or don't want to go to the place you've mentioned? I hear that women like men to "take charge" on a date, then you mention what restaurant you're taking them too, and they go "Meh, I don't care for that place"...or whatever it is. Is it better not to even mention the place you're taking them to, and just go? Leave it a mystery, then when she gets there, she sees it, doesn't like it, she'l have to suck it up? LOL 1
Mr_Flay Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I think they want you to guess what they want. When I go on a date, I like us both to agree on the venue. It works spontaneously in a conversation, something like: "You're crazy about reading too? There's the annual book fair next week. Wanna come and browse all the paperback goodies with me? :love:" Or it could be something simple like a coffee shop. Nobody has got anything against coffee shops.
Author irc333 Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 I think they want you to guess what they want. When I go on a date, I like us both to agree on the venue. It works spontaneously in a conversation, something like: "You're crazy about reading too? There's the annual book fair next week. Wanna come and browse all the paperback goodies with me? :love:" Or it could be something simple like a coffee shop. Nobody has got anything against coffee shops. DOn't worry, you'll get ONE person (even on this message board) that'll say, "Coffee shops are lame for dates!"
Mr_Flay Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Well, I for one think that a woman has do deserve being taken to expensive venues, and that can't happen before the first 3-5 dates. I'm not about to waste money on first meet-ups with girls who will then ignore my messages or stop returning my calls later. I've had plenty of those already, as has anyone who's ever dabbled in OLD.
Revolver Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Being indecisive is not an attractive trait in the eyes of females. That's why they like men who take charge.
Author irc333 Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 I will give them a couple of more options that I have in mind...if they don't like those options, either suck it up and go on the date, or stay home How's THAT for "being in charge" eh?
Mr_Flay Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I think that's the right attitude. You don't go on a date for the activity. You go for the person. It doesn't really matter where, as long as it's decent.
crude Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 When it comes to sex, women seem to enjoy being in charge and doling it out according to their whims or goals.
Treasa Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 ....but, what if you get one of those women that don't care for or don't want to go to the place you've mentioned? I hear that women like men to "take charge" on a date, then you mention what restaurant you're taking them too, and they go "Meh, I don't care for that place"...or whatever it is. Is it better not to even mention the place you're taking them to, and just go? Leave it a mystery, then when she gets there, she sees it, doesn't like it, she'l have to suck it up? LOL Yeah, until you get a no-nonsense vegetarian like me, who will just walk away, or better yet, not even agree to go unless they know where they're going. In cases like this, why don't the two people say, "Hey, what do you like to eat? Japanese? Awesome. How about xyz..." Or, "You don't care? Any ideas where you'd like to go, or do you want me to surprise you?"
PogoStick Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Why does take charge mean inflexible? Do you like Chinese food? No. Too bad I'm taking charge! Are you that dumb? 4
KathyM Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Women like to know in advance where they will be going with you so they know what to wear. But I would suggest taking charge for the first date and suggesting a specific place. For example, "I thought we'd go for a walk along the beach and stop for a drink afterwards." I think if women are too difficult or disagreeable about your suggestions, you'd be wise to chalk that up to not dateable material, and dump her after the one date. If a woman is going to be so inflexible that she can't bring herself to go along with your suggestion for a date, then she's not long term material. You should be decisive about what to do on the first date, and if the first date went well, tell her at the end of the date something like "I really had a great time, and I'd like to see you again." Wait for response, and if it's positive: "Are you free on __________________? Maybe we could go _______________________, or you could pick what we do if you have some other place you'd like to go." So in other words, be decisive about the first date. Don't be wishy-washy and without a plan. If she's too difficult, then don't suggest another date, because that is a red flag if she can't manage to go along with your suggestion on where you'd like to take her on the date you are inviting her out on. For the second date, if the first went well, make a specific suggestion, and then ask her if there is some place she'd like to go, so that she has a chance to decide or make suggestions about where to go.
Treasa Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Here's the problem. If a guy thought I was being difficult because I didn't want to go to a steakhouse (again, I'm a vegetarian), or maybe because I'd once gotten food poisoning, it's a silly conclusion. For the first date or whatever, go somewhere you both want to go. Talk about what you both like to do, and then schedule dates around that.
iris219 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Having a plan = good Trying to force someone to do something they don't enjoy = not good 1
carhill Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Relevant to 'taking charge', my response would be 'the steakhouse we're going to has excellent vegetables and I'll likely have the fish'
Treasa Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Relevant to 'taking charge', my response would be 'the steakhouse we're going to has excellent vegetables' ') Yeeeah, screw that. I'd rather go to a place that has more options. If a guy had a problem with that, I wouldn't be dating him. 2
soccerrprp Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Yeeeah, screw that. I'd rather go to a place that has more options. If a guy had a problem with that, I wouldn't be dating him. Dang I like you! I'm a vegetarian too! Anyway, options are good and considerate. I just don't get why guys get hung up over the guy taking charge thing. I also don't get why someone who is not vegetarian, or is not on a limiting diet can't go someplace where the options are plentiful for both? This, "I'm a man and going to have my steak and you can choose from the 3 vegetable diets available" crap is so unnecessary and frankly unimaginative. Maybe it is a man-thing, b/c the ladies that I've dated ALWAYS suggest or want to go somewhere the offerings are plentiful for me (vegetarian) AND her. 1
xxoo Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Women like when men take charge AND get it right. It shows that he has payed close enough attention to choose something she'll personally like. 2
Treasa Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Dang I like you! I'm a vegetarian too! Anyway, options are good and considerate. I just don't get why guys get hung up over the guy taking charge thing. I also don't get why someone who is not vegetarian, or is not on a limiting diet can't go someplace where the options are plentiful for both? This, "I'm a man and going to have my steak and you can choose from the 3 vegetable diets available" crap is so unnecessary and frankly unimaginative. Maybe it is a man-thing, b/c the ladies that I've dated ALWAYS suggest or want to go somewhere the offerings are plentiful for me (vegetarian) AND her. Are you my twin or something?
Treasa Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I like it when a guy takes initiative or shows he gives a damn, but I don't feel particularly attracted to guys who feel they have to take charge. Maybe I'm just too far past that bull**** and, at my age, don't see the need for it anymore. 1
soccerrprp Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Are you my twin or something? Fraternal (considering I'm a guy), perhaps or the something.
dasein Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 As long as the place you are suggesting isn't a weird or dirty place with very few options, use any guff you get as a screen to move on, so they are doing you a favor. As others say, the focus is on meeting, not eating. They should be happy you aren't doing lame chain coffee house dates. 1
KathyM Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Here's the problem. If a guy thought I was being difficult because I didn't want to go to a steakhouse (again, I'm a vegetarian), or maybe because I'd once gotten food poisoning, it's a silly conclusion. For the first date or whatever, go somewhere you both want to go. Talk about what you both like to do, and then schedule dates around that.Of course, if there is a valid reason why you wouldn't want to go where he suggests for the first date (i.e., you are vegetarian or got food poisoning there), by all means tell him. Otherwise, I think it's not cool to reject the guy's suggestion for the first date, as if the venue is something so important that you can't stand his idea and have to change it. I think a lot of women like a guy to have some ideas of his own, and I think it makes sense for the person who initiates the date to make the suggestion on where to go.
soccerrprp Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 As long as the place you are suggesting isn't a weird or dirty place with very few options, use any guff you get as a screen to move on, so they are doing you a favor. As others say, the focus is on meeting, not eating. They should be happy you aren't doing lame chain coffee house dates. I hear you, but if the focus is on meeting and not eating then what's wrong with a coffee house date? Also, if it's been agreed to have a dining date, then consideration should be placed on the venue that would be good for both, don't you think? 1
PJKino Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 God forbid the women made suggestions as well. I dont know why its such a "turnoff" for a grown adult women to be asked where she might want to eat My god women are difficult 1
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