Sad Gurl Posted September 12, 2004 Posted September 12, 2004 I was with my boyfriend for 5 years and I found out a month ago that he cheated on me recently. I am only 19 years old and he is 21. He cheated on me with a 29 year old that is divorced and has three kids. After I found out about it, he told me that he was very sorry and that he doesn't even know how it happened. He said that he couldn't live with himself knowing that he had done that to me. I told him that I was willing to forgive and forget and that we could just overlook that situation. Well, when I mentioned that to him, he said that it would take time for him to get over what he did, so that he thought we shouldn't be together for a while and just remain friends. We have been doing that for about a month now, but it is really hard. During our talks, he tells me that he is very confused and that he feels like his heart is torn in between two women. That he has feelings for us both. I don't know what to do anymore since it hurts not to talk to him and also to continue talking to him. The last time we had one of these talks, he told me that he was going to leave me alone because he knew that he was hurting me by sticking around. So, we still talk sometimes, but not as often as we used to. What should I do?
Honesty Posted September 12, 2004 Posted September 12, 2004 Maybe you should take it one step at a time. Stop talking to him gradually. If you continue to talk to him it will keep hurting you. It seems like he does not really regret cheating on you because he is still confused between the both of you. Maybe you are not the one for him. If you would stay with him do you think you can really forgive and forget?
Author Sad Gurl Posted September 13, 2004 Author Posted September 13, 2004 Yes, I was willing to forgive and forget and never mention it again. There were a couple of times, however, that we got back on the subject, but that was only because he never stopped talking to her. Like I told him, if you call that a mistake and you actually meant what you were saying, than you wouldn't talk to her anymore. And all he would respond to that was that he has tried to stop talking to her, but that he couldn't because she would always call and he couldn't be mean. He told me that she recently had surgery because she had cancer and that he felt bad just letting her down so hard. But actually, and I may be wrong, she may just be lieing to him about her whole health situation just to get him where it hearts him since she probably already found out that he has a sensitive heart. I honestly beleive that he wants to be with her, but he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. So, in retrospect, he is trying not to let me down so hard....
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