Spark1111 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Oh I forgot now you read a book, that makes it written in stone. I know lots of seemingly intelligent people who read a book about something and sure as hell didn't understand it. I'm not sure I can respond to this.....so I will not.
Spark1111 Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 OMG! I was hit on constantly and found it nauseating. Former bosses, former High school boyfriends who were waxing unhappy in their marriage, new younger employees, the guy who came to install custom made blinds, the man at the deli....just yuck. Something in me recognized, froze, became extremely uncomfortable and shut it down....real ice princess like. Most times, I ignored it, talked over it, never took the bait. Now had I been needy, insecure, vulnerable and responding to crumbs of attention, then it may have been a different story with a different ending. And that is one of the first things we learned of in MC: Do YOU WANT to be married? Do you LIKE being married? And what boundaries do you put in place to preserve the marriage? because attraction to others is NORMAL. I always chose my marriage over the attentions of a stranger. My H chose marriage BUT still enjoyed, NEEDED the attention of admiring strangers, from his boss to the neighbors to his AP, to feel "special." I read, after DDay, that attraction to others is normal. It is how we choose our friends, lovers, and closest family members. in the very best marriages, they discuss these attractions and put boundaries in place to protect the marriage. Imagine that?
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