invalidman Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Was just wondering after noticing that more than maybe 1k woman rejected me in my life what is not clicking? I may go to the gym every day , sprint , , do musculation and feel good about my results seems its not getting the job done in clubs...On top of that why is it that other couples have to come 2 cm next to me everyday to kiss and hug , its almost intentionnal i feel. Do people see im lonely and want to bug me more? Im getting paranoid. I even tried dating sites no answers from around maybe 400 woman in total. Sometimes when girls smile at me i start thinking i could have a date but than i realise its probably that they find me ugly or they are nervous cause i scare them.. .Why is it that when i try to danse with a girl in a club i get pushed back in front of everyone and 2 seconds later some random chubby kid grabs her and they start making out...I need tips , i know im not the most confident person but im not the worse i think. I cant smile and talk like i want cause i had a nose surgery that makes me feel wierd sometimes when i look at people or try to smile , maybe people realise that and call me wierd all the time cause of my facial expressionsl. But everyone tells me its in my head....wich is all confusing cause everynights in clubs i see people whispering things to there friends while looking at me i just know its something like this guy is wierd. It hurts me cause im 27 i have no sex life despite having huge desires...i feel like i wasted my young years cant even have a date or a sexual friend...I am confused about life and who i am aswell i am scared of other people more and more and don't approach girls knowing for sure that ill get humilated more...and that some other confident annoying person will come laugh about me and tell me to my face that she dosent want to speak with me...what can i do? please someone give me some kind of solution im totaly depressed about this to the point that ive started to go to the mall each day to proove to myself that this is not real and that i cant give up...but its hurting more and more...
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 First off, stop caring so much about what other people think. Second, you didn't tell us much (besides your feelings). What happens when you approach? Do you get rejected right away? How far do you usually get with the girls? How much experience do you have with women? Also, in my experience, going to the gym doesn't matter. I'm forced to stay in shape now that I'm in the military, but I got just as many girls when I never worked out.
Author invalidman Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 i get rejected right away all the time...ive seen guyz not even talk to girls just goiing and grabbing them not getting rejected...i just say hello how r u doiing , are u having fun or something...and than get rejected ...
PogoStick Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 You need to make FRIENDS with a few females who you can trust to be honest with you and play wingwoman. You need to maintain friendly boundaries with them. If you crush on them they will be scared away. You also need to see a therapist to work on yourself. Do you have guy friends?
alex1960 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Here's the ugly truth lots of people don't want to hear: you're aiming for girls that are out of your league, girls who have better options than you. Look around you and you will see plenty of super fat and super ugly people who are happily married with children. Accept to lower your standards or spend a lifetime of loneliness. 2
Author invalidman Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 (edited) i dont have any guy friends at the moment, and i dont consider aiming lower cause i have to be attracted to try with a girl and my standards are based on attraction cause i am sure that if i connect with any nice looking woman she will fall in love with me ..its just bringing them to give me that opportunity that is hard...since im getting rejected before even talking...maybe im ugly maybe im not i just know that i really suck in this , despite having all the desires and fantasys wich brings deep frustration and jealousy ... Edited March 30, 2013 by invalidman
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 i get rejected right away all the time...ive seen guyz not even talk to girls just goiing and grabbing them not getting rejected...i just say hello how r u doiing , are u having fun or something...and than get rejected ... This is what I do in clubs. It works. It sounds like you need to get out and experiment. Nothing is holding you back but yourself.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Here's the ugly truth lots of people don't want to hear: you're aiming for girls that are out of your league, girls who have better options than you. Look around you and you will see plenty of super fat and super ugly people who are happily married with children. Accept to lower your standards or spend a lifetime of loneliness. Facepalm. This is the worst advice I've ever heard.
alex1960 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 i dont have any guy friends at the moment, and i dont consider aiming lower cause i have to be attracted to try with a girl and my standards are based on attraction cause i am sure that if i connect with any nice looking woman she will fall in love with me ..its just bringing them to give me that opportunity that is hard...since im getting rejected before even talking...maybe im ugly maybe im not i just know that i really suck in this , despite having all the desires and fantasys wich brings deep frustration and jealousy ... You're getting rejected before even talking because they are not attracted to you. Meanwhile, you will not lower your own standards because you want to feel attracted to the girl but you expected the girl to ignore the lack of initial attraction so she will fall in love with you once she knows you better? Do you see the double standard here? The girl has to lower her physical standards but not you. Better change or else you won't find anyone. I'm dead serious. 1
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 You're getting rejected before even talking because they are not attracted to you. Meanwhile, you will not lower your own standards because you want to feel attracted to the girl but you expected the girl to ignore the lack of initial attraction so she will fall in love with you once she knows you better? Do you see the double standard here? The girl has to lower her physical standards but not you. Better change or else you won't find anyone. I'm dead serious. Don't listen to this poster, OP. What you really need to do is step up your game.
alex1960 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Don't listen to this poster, OP. What you really need to do is step up your game. Don't listen to that poster, OP. Stepping up your game will not get you significantly better looking girls. Not at the age of 27. Find someone who will find you attractive. Be realistic. 1
Author invalidman Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 okay but what do I do when they reject me whats the normal reaction smile and say okay np , what do guyz normally do sometimes i get rejected and an opportunistic guy comes and acts like some sort of savior of the day ...should i just fall back and admit defeat or confront that person..since the girl is not interested i usually fall back but it makes me look twice more like a looser and a coward...wich i was in the middle age i would battle everyone by sword for the girls than i would probalby have sucess...
Author invalidman Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 thx Badger i will go with your advice and experiment more , i won't ever lower my standards i would rather be alone than with someone im not attracted to and i believe i can make any girl fall in love with me if I get comfortable and am myself ...its just the initial step were im terrible. thx again nice advice it motivates me more to try... 1
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Don't listen to that poster, OP. Stepping up your game will not get you significantly better looking girls. Not at the age of 27. Find someone who will find you attractive. Be realistic. You sound like you don't have any experience with women at all. I have friends that are in their 30s that always struggled with women. They made conscious efforts to improve themselves and their game....and now they're dating very attractive women. How do you think there are people that are good with women? Everybody starts from somewhere. What OP needs to do is go rapid fire because he's behind the curve.
JuneJulySeptember Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 You're getting rejected before even talking because they are not attracted to you. Meanwhile, you will not lower your own standards because you want to feel attracted to the girl but you expected the girl to ignore the lack of initial attraction so she will fall in love with you once she knows you better? Do you see the double standard here? The girl has to lower her physical standards but not you. Better change or else you won't find anyone. I'm dead serious. Totally agree, with the exception that I would give a less physically attractive woman a chance, so for me it's not a double standard. There's also a small group of women who are quite attractive, but don't care that much about looks. It's a small, small minority though. But if you play enough numbers, you will eventually meet one of them. okay but what do I do when they reject me whats the normal reaction smile and say okay np , what do guyz normally do sometimes i get rejected and an opportunistic guy comes and acts like some sort of savior of the day ...should i just fall back and admit defeat or confront that person..since the girl is not interested i usually fall back but it makes me look twice more like a looser and a coward...wich i was in the middle age i would battle everyone by sword for the girls than i would probalby have sucess... Move on to the next one.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 thx Badger i will go with your advice and experiment more , i won't ever lower my standards i would rather be alone than with someone im not attracted to and i believe i can make any girl fall in love with me if I get comfortable and am myself ...its just the initial step were im terrible. thx again nice advice it motivates me more to try... That's the spirit! Let me know if you're in the Central/Southern California area and I'll help you out.
Author invalidman Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 i wish i had a buddy that would support me like u...no im actually stuck in mtl , canada. There is so many nice ladies here but everywhere i go teanagers are like dogs...im really not comfortable alone in public everyone seems to notice im sad i even look at my pictures in the online dating sites and i look sad even when i smile , cause i have no friends and no one actually looks at me or accepts me when i talk to them. I just have 2 friends wich i do business with in construction sometimes..beside that im just rejected even at the cash people find me wierd in stores they ask for help if they are girls they ask for guys cause they seem scared of me...and oftern i see the guyz kissing them infront of me just to make me feel like im inferior or something . in truth im stronger , smarter funnier just not as happy and comfortable in my skin mainly du to my nose operation wich gives me a stiff face and akward feelings i wish i could just be accepted and people could understand what i have ...anyways thx for trying to help i guess i can keep repeating myself the whole day my life as been like this since 21, and now im just used to beiing sad and lonely , crying is the only solution everynight...
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 i wish i had a buddy that would support me like u...no im actually stuck in mtl , canada. There is so many nice ladies here but everywhere i go teanagers are like dogs...im really not comfortable alone in public everyone seems to notice im sad i even look at my pictures in the online dating sites and i look sad even when i smile , cause i have no friends and no one actually looks at me or accepts me when i talk to them. I just have 2 friends wich i do business with in construction sometimes..beside that im just rejected even at the cash people find me wierd in stores they ask for help if they are girls they ask for guys cause they seem scared of me...and oftern i see the guyz kissing them infront of me just to make me feel like im inferior or something . in truth im stronger , smarter funnier just not as happy and comfortable in my skin mainly du to my nose operation wich gives me a stiff face and akward feelings i wish i could just be accepted and people could understand what i have ...anyways thx for trying to help i guess i can keep repeating myself the whole day my life as been like this since 21, and now im just used to beiing sad and lonely , crying is the only solution everynight... I think you should go to therapy. Then you should go to great lengths to leave your comfort zone and change your habits. 1
dasein Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 1. Get out of the clubs until you develop a normal social life from other activities. Clubs are stacked against men who are socially inexperienced, and will just reenforce negative attitudes unduly. Get away from there. 2. Get a social set, friends of all types, married, single, male, female. Socialize with them, never by yourself. Meet their friends and you will start meeting normal single women, not club and party girls. 3. Get active in your community in clubs or charities. Meet people there. Once you have done these things, then get back here and we will tell you how to work the club scene. Good luck.
ScreamingTrees Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 You're getting rejected before even talking because they are not attracted to you. Meanwhile, you will not lower your own standards because you want to feel attracted to the girl but you expected the girl to ignore the lack of initial attraction so she will fall in love with you once she knows you better? Do you see the double standard here? The girl has to lower her physical standards but not you. Better change or else you won't find anyone. I'm dead serious. I would agree with this, but hope OP realizes that this poster is coming from a place of bitterness, so take it with a grain of salt. Bottom line is, no one deserves to be settled for. It is never a good thing to settle, and I don't think forcing one's self to settle would lead to happiness for themselves, and certainly not for the person who they are "settling" for.. That sounds terrible, truly.
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