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Ex girlfriend problems, Very depressed

Giac10

By Giac10
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Giac10 New Member

Giac10

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So here is my story, I am a sophmore in college and my ex girlfriend is still a senior in high school. We have dated close to 2 years but about two months ago i made an impulsive decision and broke up with her because i felt that she was changing and started hanging out with new friends and that the whole high school senior year hype and party scene was becoming more important than our relationship and wanted to experience that lifestyle which is ok with me but she wasnt respecting some of the things i wasnt comfortable with, you can have a social life but its going to take a little sacrifice if you want to be in a relationship, I would know first hand, i have been in college and have given up things to make her feel better and worry less when im at college. Anyways we didnt talk for about a month, After that i couldnt take it anymore and i went to her house on valentines day and told her i loved her and couldnt move on. She told me during the breakup she had kissed two guys and it hurt me very much but i swallowed it and told her i would fight for her. For the next two months i was trying very hard to get her back, I threw her a suprise party for her birthday and would take her on dates and we would still be intimate. The problem is that i felt like she was dragging it out and was using me, she would do all these things with me during the week but when the weekend would come around she didnt really have time for me and would go out to parties with her friends which is okay with me but when i would do the same with my friends she would get mad and tell me shes done, that if i wanted her back i wouldnt go to parties with my friends and i shouldnt drink but its okay for her to do what she wants because i was the one who broke up with her, she told me I wasnt fighting for her 100% but i know personally that she was mostly my only focus and that i would drop anything to see her. After a few weeks of her going back and forth, the position started getting to me, I was feeling used, that she was keeping me around on her time and dragging things out, needless to say i felt tired and miserable fighting for her and getting no where, I felt very unstable and worried in this position because she was doing whatever she wanted and since i broke up with her i had to just deal with it. I did a lot of begging and crying and put a lot of effort into getting her back and i felt as if she liked the power, she liked having me wrapped around her finger. Anyways during this position she told me she wanted me to take her to prom, that she could only see herself going with me, i told her i would love to go but im scared that i will just be used for a prom date and that i was more worried about getting back together. That weekend we got in an argumen and we didnt talk for a day, I texted her the next day and asked what was going on with us, i asked if she was done with me, she said she wasnt happy and that things dont seem to be changing, that shes not confident in getting back together and wants things to be done for awhile, I begged and pleaded but she coldly declined and hung up. The next day I come to find out that same night before she called me telling me all this that another guy asked her to prom and she said yes to him, it was actually one of the guys she kissed while we were broken up. I was crushed, i felt used, that the only reason she was keeping me around was so i would ask her to prom and once someone else asked her she just dropped me. She swears that prom had nothing to do with it, she says we werent stable enough to get back together and that she thinks we should be done for awhile, that she does want to be with me and loves me but something wasnt working and she was stressed out a lot of the time, I personally believe that she didn't put in effort to work it out, that she put it all on me, the more things got drug out the more unstable and used i felt, i cried, fought, pleaded, and poured my heart out trying to get her back, On her birthday i spent $300 and contacted all her friends and threw her a surprise party, she told me it was the best birthday ever but still she wouldnt take me back. Now she is going to prom with someone else after she has been telling me for weeks that I am the only one she wants to go with and that she is ready for me to ask her, I had bought my tux and was planning to ask her the day she called me telling me things are over for awhile. The worst part is I found out from the guy who asked her, she didn't tell me she was going to prom with him. He said he just needed a date and that they are going as friends but i know they will probably hook up again, I asked her to reconsider and she said no that she would actually rather go alone than go with me, she told me to stop texting her and the guy shes going with, that it was her choice to say yes, she was just very harsh. I was angry and told her I cant believe I let her use me and that it was very low of her to do. Then the next day I told her she really hurt me and she said she felt awful and wanted to keep in touch because im one of her best friends, i told her i needed time to heal but then i tried to convince her that if we tried a little longer and fight through this we could become stronger, but again she said no and that she doesnt want to be done forever but just for awhile. I told her she was making a mistake and I cant just wait around, she swears that prom had nothing to do with it and that she was giving me plenty of chances to make her feel confident to get back together but I wasn't doing good enough, If only she knew how much I would cherish her if she would of just stopped dragging things out and gave us another chance. But no matter what i said or pleaded she turned me down and said she just wasnt happy, so I replied okay i have to respect that and i hope you are happy now. Im in a lot of pain, I havent talked to her at all today and I dont think she wants me too, she seems perfectly fine now that she has her prom date and graduation and senior week beach trip coming up in the future. Shes constantly making statuses about going to parties on face book and all im thinking about is her going out and getting drunk and hooking up with other guys. What can I do? I cant convince her to be with me but I love her and im going through depression, I cant eat and all i think about is her. I think that shes more worried about her social events coming up than working things out with me, I do feel used and dropped so easily but she swears prom had nothing to do with her choice to be done. What do i do now? I dont want to keep bothering her but its hard to ignore her, she has a good way at making me feel like its all my fault and i know i am responsible for a lot of it but I don't want to sit around and wait around for her until she is done having her good ole time, Is it best if I try to move on? If so Is there any advice that can help me move on? Its a shame because i dont want to, its a shame to see all the effort go to waste, to see love go to waste. It seems so much easier on her, that I care more than her and she isnt worried because she has her parties and prom date now. I could really use some advice, I am very heart broken and dont know what to do now.

 

 

SORRY FOR THE EXTREMELY LONG POST AND ANY TYPO'S

Edited by Giac10
polyglot Member

polyglot

Posted
Posted
So here is my story, I am a sophmore in college and my ex girlfriend is still a senior in high school. We have dated close to 2 years but about two months ago i made an impulsive decision and broke up with her because i felt that she was changing and started hanging out with new friends and that the whole high school senior year hype and party scene was becoming more important than our relationship and wanted to experience that lifestyle which is ok with me but she wasnt respecting some of the things i wasnt comfortable with, you can have a social life but its going to take a little sacrifice if you want to be in a relationship, I would know first hand, i have been in college and have given up things to make her feel better and worry less when im at college. Anyways we didnt talk for about a month, After that i couldnt take it anymore and i went to her house on valentines day and told her i loved her and couldnt move on. She told me during the breakup she had kissed two guys and it hurt me very much but i swallowed it and told her i would fight for her. For the next two months i was trying very hard to get her back, I threw her a suprise party for her birthday and would take her on dates and we would still be intimate. The problem is that i felt like she was dragging it out and was using me, she would do all these things with me during the week but when the weekend would come around she didnt really have time for me and would go out to parties with her friends which is okay with me but when i would do the same with my friends she would get mad and tell me shes done, that if i wanted her back i wouldnt go to parties with my friends and i shouldnt drink but its okay for her to do what she wants because i was the one who broke up with her, she told me I wasnt fighting for her 100% but i know personally that she was mostly my only focus and that i would drop anything to see her. After a few weeks of her going back and forth, the position started getting to me, I was feeling used, that she was keeping me around on her time and dragging things out, needless to say i felt tired and miserable fighting for her and getting no where, I felt very unstable and worried in this position because she was doing whatever she wanted and since i broke up with her i had to just deal with it. I did a lot of begging and crying and put a lot of effort into getting her back and i felt as if she liked the power, she liked having me wrapped around her finger. Anyways during this position she told me she wanted me to take her to prom, that she could only see herself going with me, i told her i would love to go but im scared that i will just be used for a prom date and that i was more worried about getting back together. That weekend we got in an argumen and we didnt talk for a day, I texted her the next day and asked what was going on with us, i asked if she was done with me, she said she wasnt happy and that things dont seem to be changing, that shes not confident in getting back together and wants things to be done for awhile, I begged and pleaded but she coldly declined and hung up. The next day I come to find out that same night before she called me telling me all this that another guy asked her to prom and she said yes to him, it was actually one of the guys she kissed while we were broken up. I was crushed, i felt used, that the only reason she was keeping me around was so i would ask her to prom and once someone else asked her she just dropped me. She swears that prom had nothing to do with it, she says we werent stable enough to get back together and that she thinks we should be done for awhile, that she does want to be with me and loves me but something wasnt working and she was stressed out a lot of the time, I personally believe that she didn't put in effort to work it out, that she put it all on me, the more things got drug out the more unstable and used i felt, i cried, fought, pleaded, and poured my heart out trying to get her back, On her birthday i spent $300 and contacted all her friends and threw her a surprise party, she told me it was the best birthday ever but still she wouldnt take me back. Now she is going to prom with someone else after she has been telling me for weeks that I am the only one she wants to go with and that she is ready for me to ask her, I had bought my tux and was planning to ask her the day she called me telling me things are over for awhile. The worst part is I found out from the guy who asked her, she didn't tell me she was going to prom with him. He said he just needed a date and that they are going as friends but i know they will probably hook up again, I asked her to reconsider and she said no that she would actually rather go alone than go with me, she told me to stop texting her and the guy shes going with, that it was her choice to say yes, she was just very harsh. I was angry and told her I cant believe I let her use me and that it was very low of her to do. Then the next day I told her she really hurt me and she said she felt awful and wanted to keep in touch because im one of her best friends, i told her i needed time to heal but then i tried to convince her that if we tried a little longer and fight through this we could become stronger, but again she said no and that she doesnt want to be done forever but just for awhile. I told her she was making a mistake and I cant just wait around, she swears that prom had nothing to do with it and that she was giving me plenty of chances to make her feel confident to get back together but I wasn't doing good enough, If only she knew how much I would cherish her if she would of just stopped dragging things out and gave us another chance. But no matter what i said or pleaded she turned me down and said she just wasnt happy, so I replied okay i have to respect that and i hope you are happy now. Im in a lot of pain, I havent talked to her at all today and I dont think she wants me too, she seems perfectly fine now that she has her prom date and graduation and senior week beach trip coming up in the future. Shes constantly making statuses about going to parties on face book and all im thinking about is her going out and getting drunk and hooking up with other guys. What can I do? I cant convince her to be with me but I love her and im going through depression, I cant eat and all i think about is her. I think that shes more worried about her social events coming up than working things out with me, I do feel used and dropped so easily but she swears prom had nothing to do with her choice to be done. What do i do now? I dont want to keep bothering her but its hard to ignore her, she has a good way at making me feel like its all my fault and i know i am responsible for a lot of it but I don't want to sit around and wait around for her until she is done having her good ole time, Is it best if I try to move on? If so Is there any advice that can help me move on? Its a shame because i dont want to, its a shame to see all the effort go to waste, to see love go to waste. It seems so much easier on her, that I care more than her and she isnt worried because she has her parties and prom date now. I could really use some advice, I am very heart broken and dont know what to do now.

 

 

 

SORRY FOR THE EXTREMELY LONG POST AND ANY TYPO'S

 

 

Also, never say sorry, when you are not wrong. Dude, there's always a limit to which you can yield to the other persons wishes. Particularly with a girl, it's a little more, because we understand they are girls and need a little more pampering.

 

See, you are doing something unnecessary. Today you'll fight, tomorrow, you'll try, but, for long? Is a fight necessary to maintain a relationship? In a relationship, no matter how silly the mistakes each of you commit, it should be acceptable, not to the point to indulging oneself with other people, like kissing and all that. It's not tolerable.

 

Why do you care so much for something not your worth? Look for years ahead buddy. You should never blow up your self-esteem. You can cry for a person who "values" you. Don't give a damn to this girl. Move on. Start NC, do everything that disconnects you from her. You have plenty of life. And you will find much better people with much better worth for what you are !!

 

You should never suffer because of her. Relationships are supposed to keep each other happy. Not to make one suffer because of other's indulgence.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

TL; DR.

 

This is partly why:

Paragraphs and formatting code

 

We ask that community participants separate long posts into paragraphs, leaving a blank line between each block of text similar to the style used in this document. We have found that posters who follow this suggestion not only improve the readability of the post, but also tend to receive a greater number of responses..

 

(From here.)

 

The other reason I couldn't plough my way through it - or frankly, had no need to - was because of the big fat clue in your Thread heading:

 

Ex girlfriend problems, Very depressed

 

The emphasis - is on the word 'EX'.

The whole post is largely redundant, because there are NO problems with an ex. The only issue is - that she's an ex.

 

And you have to get over her.

 

And to do that - you have to cut absolutely all and every means of contact, in both directions: that's you, to her, and definitely her, to you.

 

Please take the time to read the signature link below.

The first post, is the No Contact Guide.

The remainder of the thread is basically a whole bunch of wonderful, vulnerable hurt guys who considered breaking NC, or actually did - and post their cautionary tales.

 

You won't ever even begin to get over her - until you completely and totally exclude her from every aspect of your life.

 

Starting right now.

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