No closure how to move on

[Nicki01]

Hi, this is my first time on this website and wanted to know if anyone had any similar experiences and how did they move on and find closure.

 

3 years ago I met someone who was separated. The relationship has been on/off for the last three years as he was never able to commit or let me know where I stood with him. I know I should have walked away when the problems first started but I thought things would change.

 

Anyway it ended last year around October time, but I still had feelings for the guy and tried to shut my feelings, tried the no contract rule but could not stop what I felt.

 

Early this year I asked if we can meet to have a chat, but he kept putting it of. I have later found out that (not that he has confirmed this) that after 5 years of separation that he and his wife are reconciling.

 

All the time I was with him we would talk about this and when we were "off" I would say to him if he can save his marriage he should and try again, but he would then say to me "she will never change".

 

In the three years when we would have arguments and I would end it, but he would come back knocking asking to try again.. or say sorry and I would forgive and give him a chance.

 

I do care for him, but I also know I need to find closure on my own and need to move on as I will never get closure from him.

 

Thanks in advance for the advice.

[McGriff]

A guy who is separated from his wife is emotionally unavailable. I speak from experience. He obviously still has deep rooted emotions for his wife. You are definitely in an unenviable position. You need to cut your losses, I know it will be painful, but I'm sure you're interested in being a backup lover in case the marriage goes sour again?

[Nicki01]

Thanks McGriff and you are right he is emotionally unavailable. I am not interested in being his back-up plan if the marriage goes sour again. It is painful and I am trying to find a way through this.