partner13 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Thanks everyone for posting and your support. I am in the process of separation, 3 kids, near my mid-40s. When I was in elementary school in the 5th grade, I experienced a "connection" with a very pretty 6th grader--she was older by one year, but we smiled at each other, got to know each other, & by the end of the school year, were clearly on the verge of "dating" as elementary school Boyfriend, Girlfriend--everyone giggled and said it was going to happen. But at the end of the year, as fate would have it, my family moved away--big time--out of the country. I never had the opportunity to tell her my true feelings face to face. Sad moment in my early life. I came back a summer later when she was in the 7th grade to help my family pack up our house and tried a whole summer unsuccessfully to find her. Many of you might ask, why was it so hard, but the reality was remember this was the early 80's--no cell phones, no internet, no texts & I think we didn't even have answering machines. At my young age I looked up her family phone number in the phone book, and since our house was packed up, I walked a few miles to use a pay phone to try to call her but never could reach her. It was a devastating moment thinking about her at that young age during a tough move. Fortunately, I kept her house address and after the summer, wrote to her more than 3000 miles away. I told her that I loved her & that I would remember her forever. I told her that she would always be special to me in my heart. I didn't think I would ever hear back from her, so you can imagine my surprise when she wrote back & shared special love messages w a photo, which I still have kept to this day. I wrote one final letter to her, expressing love, and then...life happened for more than 30 years. *** Months ago I was working in my office & an email arrived asking me if I remembered her. Yes, it was her. Honestly, I was scared--was this a joke, a stalker? I wrote back, and we exchanged some very friendly "how are you, what have you been up to emails". She said that she thought of me over the years, specifically mentioned she remembered we wrote letters to each other, wondered what happened to me over the years, let me know she has followed my career, and made a complimentary comment that I haven't aged (looked the same) after seeing my photo online. She shared that she is married with 2 kids, and I let her know I was married with 3 kids (but did not mention my current marriage challenges). As noted, we shared some very warm emails and her last email to me ended with a question, why did I move away as a child? I answered that email explaining we moved b/c of my father's job situation and talked in detail about how hard the move was that year. After I sent that email a few months ago, she abruptly stopped writing. I have reviewed my emails and can honestly say I was careful and did not write anything offensive or could be construed as "romantic" Yes, my feelings have come back for her. I have spoken to someone I respect about my feelings & was told it was quite possible that she felt some feelings for me that surprised her and that she decided to stop it there to protect herself/marriage/children. Or that her husband found out about our exchanges and told her to stop it. I was also told--really I am making too much of a big deal--this new facebook generation emails people from the past and she just wanted to reconnect quickly...nothing more, no romantic interest, and moving on to the next facebook connection. It's hard. I did not ask for all of this. Questions (as I try to make sense of all this?) --why did she write to me? why did she abruptly stop writing to me? --do you think she still feels something there like I do? --anyone have a similar situation? how have people tried to get over something like this? --any hope? I may be single again & now she knows I remember her, if she is available again, maybe a reunion? PS--I sent one final email wishing her and her family a happy Easter but never heard back either. She was very fast with email before, so I know she rec'd my emails.
Am4Real Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Soounds like dangerous ground to me -- I would stand down. You're both married.
HokeyReligions Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 it sounds like you're trying to write a book. it also sounds kind of desperate. I think you should just let it go
Renard99 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Seriously, let it go. Like others have said to you, social networking allows you to catch up with people from your past, see how how they're doing and then disappear. Just because they get in contact doesn't mean they want to pick up where you left off. Think of that contact as the equivalent of bumping in to an old friend in the street that you haven't seen in decades. You have a chat and eventually one of you will say 'I must be on my way' and you disappear off in different directions, never to be seen again. You're reading way too much into this 1
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