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Openness in Communication: How much is too much?

raj_in_sf

By raj_in_sf
in General Relationship Discussion

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raj_in_sf Member

raj_in_sf

Posted
Posted

Hi folks,

I am with a woman who is very open about her life and I love it. There is an interesting thing that has come up and I'm wondering what people think.

She has talked about past sexual experiences including threesomes. I actually don't mind anything she's ever done at all. I am kind of glad she's lived a very free life that way.

But once in a while she tells me that a guy is asking her to have sex or is hitting on her. Not just one guy- there are many. This morning she told me someone called her at 4:30 in the morning to ask if they would have a threesome with her next time she's in town.

What do people think about how much is too much? I told her that I didn't need her to communicate about offers she's not interested in, and she said she didn't want to filter our communication or she will just stop talking about her personal life.

 

-confused

JJ72 Member

JJ72

Posted
Posted (edited)

No matter what, DO NOT get emotionally attached to her.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
RachR Established Member

RachR

Posted
Posted

I think your request is completely reasonable. I'm also all for open communication but some things, there are just boundaries. What you're asking is a normal and healthy one, in my opinion.

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raj_in_sf Member

raj_in_sf

Posted
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Posted

Can I be greedy and ask for some why's? :-/

CC12 Established Member

CC12

Posted
Posted
Can I be greedy and ask for some why's? :-/

 

Why what? You want clarification on "use her like a blow-up plastic doll, And no matter what, DO NOT get emotionally attached to her"? I don't think that was serious advice.

 

she said she didn't want to filter our communication or she will just stop talking about her personal life.

 

That's pretty unfair. She's basically saying, "Either deal with it or I'll punish you by telling you NOTHING about ANYTHING." It's kind of childish, really.

 

I think it's reasonable to ask her not to mention these things unless it's relevant, as in, "this guy is hitting on me and I don't like it, can you come stand next to me" or if it's like, a personal problem of hers, "there's a guy at work who keeps harassing me and it sucks."

 

But if there's really no reason to tell you other than to...I don't know, brag about it? Or just to remind you that she's got so many other options? That's not very cool and she should stop that. Ask her why she does it.

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