LittleTiger Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Not off-limits, but the only male friends I have (only about three 'proper' male friends that I can confide in etc) have all admitted in the past that they have feelings with me. Which then makes me feel awkward talking to them. I think this probably answers my earlier question. You clearly don't feel awkward talking to men when the 'feelings' are mutual though!
Author alasia Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 I literally don't know how I 'feel'. I enjoy talking to him, it's never like really blatant sexual stuff, the most flirty text so far has been him saying he likes kissing! In the back of my mind, when he's talking about 'normal' stuff (non flirty) I do think he's just paying lipservice to the small talk and is really just waiting to get back to the flirty stuff, and I also know that I need to stop contacting him for him to believe I won't have sex with him - because at the moment I've told him during every conversation we've had that as he's attached, nothing can/will happen between us and his reply is always something like "it's difficult for both of us".
LittleTiger Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 I literally don't know how I 'feel'. I enjoy talking to him, it's never like really blatant sexual stuff, the most flirty text so far has been him saying he likes kissing! In the back of my mind, when he's talking about 'normal' stuff (non flirty) I do think he's just paying lipservice to the small talk and is really just waiting to get back to the flirty stuff, and I also know that I need to stop contacting him for him to believe I won't have sex with him - because at the moment I've told him during every conversation we've had that as he's attached, nothing can/will happen between us and his reply is always something like "it's difficult for both of us". He 'likes' you, you 'like' him - and he knows it! He's already attached which makes it 'difficult for both of you' What to do about those inconvenient feelings eh? Age old story. Unless you want to become his secret plaything, steer clear. Enough said! 1
Author alasia Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 miss_jaclynrae - you're being quite judgemental. How am I a homewrecker (or one in the making) if they don't live together, aren't married, no children involved...there's no home to wreck! The full story is he works in my son's school, I went in to school to do some volunteer work, he was always friendly towards me but we never had more than a 2 minute chat. He did seem to always be around though when I was there. He was the only one saying hello to me when I was going through some rubbish within school (long story) so I messaged him on a social networking site, just to say thanks for being the only one bothering to say hello when no one else would, ended the message just with a sorry for contacting you, not expecting a reply - and eventually he did reply saying he thought I was lovely, beautiful etc and that he was in a relationship with someone who lives in Australia, it's complicated though as he hadn't seen her since Sept and it would more than likely be September again before he sees her - which I admit I find weird that it's so irregular...and the chat went on from there. It's not like I pursued the guy and I do keep steering the conversation more towards the general chat stuff. He asked me to meet up during the holidays and I said I didn't know, he left it at that saying no worries. Surely if he'd wanted sex he'd have been pushing for it a bit more? Or at least being very sexual in the texts; and he's not - it's about equal 'flirty' and normal chat about day-to-day life. And I DO keep saying I won't ever have sex with an attached man, I'm also not looking for a relationship - with him or anyone else.
FitChick Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 If he's only just a friend, ask him to fix you up on a blind date with some of his friends. A real friend with no sexual or romantic interest in you would do that because he'd want you to be happy. You are a perfect example of why certain types of men target single mothers -- desperate for male attention. Sad.
Author alasia Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 How am I desperate for male attention?
Author alasia Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 Just to say, I think you're all right about him. He was away over Easter with his son, and text me yesterday telling me he'd just got back and had been thinking about me I just replied saying I was glad he had a nice time, wasn't sure about this texting thing anymore and he sent a few more texts..I took the oportunity to say again that I didn't understand the dynamics of his relationship; but nevertheless he's in one and I have to keep hold of my morals and the self respect I have left; that I WILL NOT sleep with a man that is attached; and anyway, I'd rather wait until I found someone who wants the same things as I do (big family, marriage etc) rather than settling for second best or being 'used'. He told me that he wants to be with this woman, but to do so he needs a visa which takes time (no idea whether he means moving or just visiting), there was a lot of "if I was single" talk (you haven't said what you would want from me if I was single...if I was single you should probably look for someone more your own age anyway, etc). He then kept asking to come over - I'd made it clear before that he WOULD NOT get in the house; I keep everyone on the doorstep unless they're family and he said that was fine...he kept on and I said that I couldn't risk it, as once my door is open that's it isn't it. Conversation ended with him asking to come round tomorrow (today) evening to stand on the doorstep and have that chat. I didn't reply. 1
SoleMate Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Surely if he'd wanted sex he'd have been pushing for it a bit more? Or at least being very sexual in the texts; and he's not - it's about equal 'flirty' and normal chat about day-to-day life. This is a common misconception and it's completely WRONG. Successful seducers use the successful techniques and at his age, he's learned what works and what doesn't. Talking a woman into bed with flattery, charm and affection is an age-old tactic and it got to be that way because it works so much better than emailing pix of his d**k. But make no mistake, his d**k is front and center of his mind when talking to you. Glad to hear you've started turning him down, even slightly...I hope you make this a hard cold shoulder. 1
FitChick Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 He told me that he wants to be with this woman, but to do so he needs a visa which takes time . If you are British do you need a visa to move to Australia? I thought as it was a former colony you could just move since so many Brits do. But I am not British so have no idea.
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