Harradin Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 (edited) I keep reading threads about how people keep wanting to know their partner's pasts and then get jealous, upset and never see them in the same light again. I must be the only one who really couldn't care less about my potential partner's past, the only things I would want to particularly know would be if something serious happened in their previous relationships ie if there cheating, assault, abuse etc. The reason why I probably think this is because my dad was previously married before he met my mum, and when the topic came up, my mum didn't care/want to know about my dad's past and wasn't interested. To me that seems pretty logical! I'm not fussed about my past, if they want to know about mine I'll tell them. Mine only consists of drunken kisses and one relationship I don't particularly understand. But my question is would a potential partner be offended if the topic ever comes up and I tell them I don't particularly care/want to know about their pasts unless there was something serious as I said above? Edited March 29, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Shepp Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Do you need to tell them that? I dont really care about a girls past either, i make my own judgements about people and thats that. But if the girl wants to talk to you about her past then why not just let her! Like I dont care, as in i wont judge her on her past, not as in i dont give two hoots about her life before she met me! If shes trying to open up to you about her life before you were in it, whats wrong with that?
Woggle Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 All I care about is how she treated men and people in general in the past because it shows how she will eventually treat me. 1
Author Harradin Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 Do you need to tell them that? I dont really care about a girls past either, i make my own judgements about people and thats that. But if the girl wants to talk to you about her past then why not just let her! Like I dont care, as in i wont judge her on her past, not as in i dont give two hoots about her life before she met me! If shes trying to open up to you about her life before you were in it, whats wrong with that? I didn't see it that way! I wouldn't have an issue if a potential partner wanted to tell me about her past, I just noticed that people hear about their partner's pasts then complain they don't see them in the same light anymore.
MrCastle Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I don't care about someone's romantic past so I don't ask. If they volunteer information, so be it. But understand the information is no doubt biased. You are getting one half of the story. I don't think it's any surprise any woman I've spoken to about their past, is always a great girlfriend who had a crappy boyfriend. I've yet to meet someone who said "yeah our relationship didn't work because I was a bad girlfriend." So, for me, it's don't ask, don't tell. You're with me now, that's all that matters. Don't talk to me about the past. We all have things in our past we're not proud of. 2
Esoteric Elf Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Depends. If you are there for just fun and such, don't ask. If you want a long-term relationship, there is a saying: "past perfromance predicts future behavior". I wouldn't go so far as to say it "predicts" what they will do, but blinding yourself to past actions takes the "learning" part out of our behavior, tosses it out the window, and wipes the slate clean: a potentially foolish and certainly risky move to take.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 I'm the type that would make judgments, so I'd just prefer not to know so I don't have to hold negative opinions or hold grudges or have jealousy. Knowledge might be power, but ignorance is bliss.
NervisPervis Posted April 1, 2013 Posted April 1, 2013 Mine (sexual past) only consists of drunken kisses... Just out of curiosity, could you expand on that? Once or twice you were at a party and you decided it would be fun to kiss a friend? Or was there a contest between you and your friends to see how many strange men you could pick up at meat markets in a year? I was not a party whore and would not marry someone who was. I think most people agree. So I'm just wondering if you would be willing to expand a little on that. Sorry, I'm old fashioned that way. Yes, I need to hear about her past. Sorry. Mr Neanderthal is checking out now.
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