targaryen Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 After spending the past 7-8 weeks on an emotional roller coaster - from deep sadness, lethargy, anger, shock, denial - I've given in to the advice I got early on and set up a therapist appointment for tomorrow. I've never gone before so I don't know what to expect. The problem is I think I've hyped this appointment too much in my own mind, seeing it as 'the solution' ie when I feel really sad I allow myself to wallow for hours because I think 'now the therapist will fix this.' The irony is that I KNOW that healing takes effort from myself as well, so why am I depending on this therapy session (from a person I've never met and in a situation I've never been) to 'solve' my problems?
SpicyMayo Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Because your emotions have taken over you...and you are somewhat desperate and hoping that therapy will help solve your issues... i know because im kinda in the same boat as u and will see a therapist this wed to tell him everything about my relationship, the breakup. first off, good for u for seeking counseling. just pour your heart out to him/her.. therapy is a safe outlet for u to release all your feelings and emotions. will it solve your problems? well not right away. but it will allow you to see things from a healthier perspective. and u cant just do one session - its an ongoing process. i would recommend u seeing your therapist for at least 8 sessions. oh but wait, i just realized that u posted on the 29th. so did u go? how was it? did it help?
Author targaryen Posted April 2, 2013 Author Posted April 2, 2013 Thanks for your reply. Yes I went last Saturday morning and it was OK. Definitely not life altering, since apparently the first few sessions are about assessing what you're going through only... but it felt nice to talk to someone that wasn't judgmental. I'm going again in a couple of weeks.
skydiveaddict Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 The irony is that I KNOW that healing takes effort from myself as well, so why am I depending on this therapy session (from a person I've never met and in a situation I've never been) to 'solve' my problems? Be aware that therapists cannot prescribe meds, which can be crucial. Be open to seeing a shrink as well.
Coping Vortex Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 Thanks for your reply. Yes I went last Saturday morning and it was OK. Definitely not life altering, since apparently the first few sessions are about assessing what you're going through only... but it felt nice to talk to someone that wasn't judgmental. I'm going again in a couple of weeks. It's true. I thin people think therapists have some magic spell tat will make you suddenly the light and be free. What I found from therapy is you try to pick up a few gems. Some small tidbits you can hang onto. For example my therapist said to me at my last session "actions mean more than words" meaning your ex can tell you she loves you wants to be with you etc. it means nothing. Actions. Her coming to you is what counts. I always felt that my ex loving me was enough to get us back. Just not true. He said all people have feelings for someone. It doesn't mean anything without actions. It's these tidbits that you look for. Most of therapy is paying someone to listen.
bob the brave Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I've seen one for almost a year. I still hate to think I need to pay someone just to whine. What a db. I was always so strong, so independent. But, sometimes we life can get to even the best of us. For me, she offers a nice objective sounding board. It really helps just to vent. She, of course, offers no magic spells, pills or cures, but she does bring good advice backed by decades of seeing dysfunctional relationships first hand. Think of a counceler as a guide. You still have to climb the mountain yourself, but they can keep you from choosing the wrong path.
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