MoreThanThat Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I'm in an online business group and at the start of the year, I started to have exchanges with a guy. It started out as entirely business. I live in the same city as him half the year and will be there pretty well full-time within a year. While I was in the city, we were supposed to meet (for business) but something came up and I had to cancel. I left shortly after. That was 3 weeks ago and since then a. our exchanges became personal b. we've had daily contact. We pretty well seem to have fallen into a routine of short messages through the day and then at least a couple of longer chats during the evening. We talk on the phone every few days and have talked on Skype a couple of times. Some background on him: he has a very successful business in an industry where he has no interest in getting female attention. Although we're the same age (40's), he's generally only been involved with 20 something yo women. (I've only been involved with 10+ year younger men post-divorce.) He has joint custody (40/60) from marriage and even when he has his kids with him or whatever is going on, he makes a point to check in with me regularly. His last relationship ended a year ago. His marriage ended 5 years ago and was amicable. I know enough about his day to day life that he hasn't gone on dates these few weeks. I won't be back to the city for over a month. We've not set specific dates to meet but general things - always involving other people have come up. I booked to go to a conference this summer and he did as well. I'm speaking at an event in a couple of months and he asked some questions and wants to go to "support" me. (It's not local and would mean a couple days away.) I don't know what I want... I can't without meeting. This may be the same for him. But here's the thing - in spite of all the contact and plan discussion - he's almost drawn this line. He is almost TOO respectful of boundaries if that makes any sense? Every plan discussed involves other people being around too - nothing just us. I guess I don't get it. He's not lacking in friends but I feel like I've been best friend zoned. Then again, maybe he just is waiting for us to meet. So my question - have any of you seen/experienced cases with successful men giving a lot of attention to a woman like this if ALL they had in mind was a good friend?
Author MoreThanThat Posted April 1, 2013 Author Posted April 1, 2013 No responses on this thread but will give an update and hopefully someone can chime in. So the regular contact has continued. We had a "phone" date Friday night. Saturday he was out the entire day - texted me and sent photos of places he went to etc. When I get back to the city, it will only be for a month before I have to leave again. I spent part of today touching base with people I need to see for business/social reasons. Had mentioned to him I was doing this to try and encourage him to say SOMETHING about getting together. Other than the plans I mentioned involving other people, nothing. I just feel confused. What's worse is it feels wrong for me to consider even going on a date with someone else because it feels disingenuous.
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