robaday Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 My ex's best friend is really good mates with a good mate of mine, they hang out a lot, and its inevitable he will bump into my ex from time to time. I dont have an issue with that and dont really care, they can be friends with whoever the hell they want. But, he told me he had gone out the other night with my ex and her friends and then the others went home, so it was just him and my ex, and they went to a strip club of all places. He said they went home seperately but it kinda made me a little pissed with him, I found it strange he told me for a start and even weirder she would go considering she had major issues with those clubs when we dated, and we nearly broke up over me going to one for a mates stag do. Guess from my side, I dont care if they hang out in groups of friends. Hell I dont even care if they became good friends. But shes been really really nasty to me since the breakup, cutting me out, spreading rumors about me, and creating drama and Im concerned that she would use him to create more...on the surface ive remained totally cool with everything and have not tried to stop him hanging out with her - in fairness he even told me if it was an issue him going to parties where she was at then he wouldnt go.....and they are both single and to the best of my knowledge nothing has happened between the two of them.....so am i pissed off over nothing?
NewPerspective93 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Be the better person; smile and move on with your life. I feel that your ex is being immature by saying things about you as if to pin the blame all on you. Isn't that sad? I think you have the right to be mad, but at the same time, you can't really do anything about this situation since you can't control others' lives. I say you do something about the anger, for it being pent up inside will not do you any good. Let them live their lives, and you live in yours. All the strength to you. Cheers. 1
calgary Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 don't trust him.. read my threads. my mate promised me he'd never do that to me.. 13 days later him and my ex were in a relationship. i don't know what to suggest. i really felt like my ex just did it to get to me. who knows. i wouldn't trust him but maybe he's more trustable than my friends.
Vogeltron Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Guy code. You do get with your friends ex. I am not saying be pissed at her or him. But if it is recent, or even in the passed and he hasn't asked you if it is cool. Which in the first place you shouldn't mess with a friends ex but if you do you better ask them. Not cool if he claims to be your Mate but is doing you like that. Not cool at all.
Sososad Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Break ups really mess people's head up .. Like if she didnt like strip clubs with you and wasn't overly keen on this Guy it's possible she could be doing it to get a reaction . I know with my ex I ignored everything played it cool as are you but She kept upping the anti with ridiculous stuff to get a reaction. Think your best to ignore and be the bigger man ! But on a personal note I'd be well pissed off with them both!
PogoStick Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 He's just a friend of a friend? They are going to hookup so you might as well prepare for it. Go hookup with her hot sister!
sweetheart5381 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I'm currently in this situation as the female, and I honestly believe that once a person sets you free, you should be free to do what you wish, with whoever you wish. If my ex wanted to hook up with one of my best friends and she was into him then by all means I would wish them the best of luck. In my case, I've actually been seeing my ex's friend off and on for longer than the ex and I were together. In hindsight I can see how the ex and I were so different that we really didn't have a hope in hell of working out long term. I guess the bottom line is that it comes down to the maturity of all parties involved. If it makes you angry, avoid the friend and the ex for awhile if possible. The truth is that if she is doing stuff to harm your reputation she will do it to him as well - but that's his choice to make.
candie13 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 yeah, if she hates strip clubs and went to one with your mate, chances are she's done it to upset you. She knows for a fact you'll find out ! Look at the bright side: of she really liked your mate, they wouldn't have been to a strip club, but more likely have drinks and tapas in a nice wine bar. Your friend is a bit silly, because he's being manipulated by your ex, as well - and... he might be a bit interested in her - otherwise why have the one-on-one time? NewPerspective is right, the best revenge is being happy. So just move on, take your time to heal and try to have a good time, in the mean time. Tell your mate he's free to do whatever he wants, but that girl is bad news! And the worst possible advice now would be to jump into the dating scene - or worst, seek revenge by seducing her hot sister, cousin, niece or best friend! Holding a grudge is allowing someone to live inside your head, rent free! you know better than that. Let go and move on 1
Author robaday Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 sweetheart5381 - course theyre both free to do what they want, and even if something was going on, they wouldnt really be doing anything wrong....however considering she cut all ties with me and all my friends and family, and told me and them she was doing so, befriending my best mate and hanging with him is just weird..... Im not even pissed at him either, like my ex's best mate manipulates him all the time, through flirting with him, and him being typical nice guy bends over backwards for her. Im kinda pissed at her for not letting this whole thing go and staying out of my life, she got what she wanted, a completely clean break. Your right in one respect though, I gotta stay away and continue moving on, its none of my business anymore, maybe i just wont hang with him for awhile
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