hinatticus Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I think I already know the answer but ill ask anyway. Met a girl online. She was totally into me. Sent a couple messages through dating site then switched to texting. Texted for a few days and she insisted we meet up. She seemed super interested. Asking for a pic that was her favorite. Saying we mesh so well. We balance each other out. We have lots of weird coincidences. There were just so many things she said that showed total interest. Oh and she made point to let me know how much I make her laugh. Anyway we met last Monday but could only hook up for 3 hours cuz she had to do some family stuff. Cool by me. So I pick her up we grab coffee and go for a drive. Everything is going great. She comments that she's happy that I look exactly like my pics. Talk was very easy and I made her laugh as usual. We then go to a lounge and have a quick drink. Good times there as well. She even does the playful hip push while we were walking side by side. She even tells me I'm the only guy she's actually met from the site cuz everybody else was being douchy. So it's time for me to drive her home but she needs to make a pit stop. I offer to help and she comments that no one opens doors for her. We even already had a joke going that I was Prince Charming and she was Cinderella. Lame I know but it was cute. Anyway, I drive her home and she's in a rush cuz she's already late, but she gives me the hug and tells me we'll hook up again and this time she's making the plans. Everything seems fine. Well that night we texted back and forth and turns out she had to go to the hospital cuz she hurt herself. It's now close to 1 am so I tell her to keep me posted. She texted at 7 am saying she's fine but sore and will talk to me later cuz she needs to get rest cuz her kids were coming over for the day. That was the last I heard from her!! I sent a goofy text Tuesday night and then one more text Wednesday night. So what would you guys do? Send another asking wtf? Leave her be? Start stalking her? Seriously, what would be the best thing to do. I'm probably going to let her be. Something's not right.
january2011 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Call her and say, "hey, I'm [insert date suggestion here], would you like to join me?" If she doesn't pick up or fobs you off with a raincheck and doesn't come up with an alternative, it suggests that she was just looking for a ONS and doesn't want to take it further.
Author hinatticus Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 That's an option I've thought about. She doesn't seem like ONS material. But what do I know. I just don't understand how someone shows that much interest and then disappears. I've never had this happen to me so I'm kinda bummed out. I know it's not my place to try and make sense of her behaviour. So maybe ill give her a call and see if she wants to go out again. Even though she's supposed to make plans. Wait, does that look needy and desperate on my part? Maybe I might wait it out through the weekend.
january2011 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 No, it doesn't look needy and desperate if she likes you and wants to pursue something further with you. In which case, she would be pleased that you are showing interest. All you can do is go for it. If it doesn't work out, not a lot has been lost, has it?
Author hinatticus Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 You're right. Not much emotionally invested at this point. If I can get through my baby's mom leaving me this will be a piece of cake. Mmmm cheese cake. Assuming I'm interested in her behavior, what would make a woman to do this? To me it seems like her dream guy popped into her life. I mean I totally thought this girl was going to be easy. I didn't even have to try and she was showing massive interest. Initiating texts, wanting to call, saying she would root for my nfl team(football doesnt start for months), I could seriously go on and on. Chicks are weird...
Archgirl Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 (edited) I can see two interpretations. One: She has kids and an injury. She's probably completely preoccupied with no me time. Don't text her. Two: The hug seems a bit odd. I usually at least kiss a guys cheek at the end of a first date with a guy I think I could really like. Well actually I usually full on tongue them with an option to extend to a full make-out session if it was a really good date, but I was making allowances for this perhaps not being typical for most women Anyways this and the bunch of explanations that sound like excuses to escape/to not contact you kinda suggests maybe she's not that keen and was being polite. In which case don't text her. If she really likes you and wants to see you again she will contact you. Edited March 29, 2013 by Archgirl
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I can see two interpretations. One: She has kids and an injury. She's probably completely preoccupied with no me time. Don't text her. Two: The hug seems a bit odd. I usually at least kiss a guys cheek at the end of a first date with a guy I think I could really like. Well actually I usually full on tongue them with an option to extend to a full make-out session if it was a really good date, but I was making allowances for this perhaps not being typical for most women You definitely strike me as the full make-out type
january2011 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 She's tried dating and having a "relationship" but it's too complicated because her kids will always come first. Occasionally, she gets an itch and she wants someone to scratch it. She figures that most guys will be happy to just have a pleasant evening of chitchat with some sex thrown in and won't be fussed if they don't get more. If they want more, she can just fob them off or ignore them. Or maybe...to be honest, I don't know. Call her. You don't have anything to lose.
Author hinatticus Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 The hug seemed normal to me. Not all long term gf's I've had started with full make out on first date. In fact the date wasn't even a date, it was more of a meet up. Every gf I've had all start off with me showing more interest. This was the first time it seemed the other way around. I think ill call her either tomorrow or Saturday.
Author hinatticus Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 Anyways this and the bunch of explanations that sound like excuses to escape/to not contact you kinda suggests maybe she's not that keen and was being polite. See that's the thing. She didn't give any excuses. She basically just disappeared. She mentioned a second "date" and she said she would plan it. The only excuse she gave was she needs rest and her kids were coming over. She obviously needed rest cuz she was at the hospital the whole night. Probably from 11:30pm til 7am.
KatZee Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 See that's the thing. She didn't give any excuses. She basically just disappeared. She mentioned a second "date" and she said she would plan it. The only excuse she gave was she needs rest and her kids were coming over. She obviously needed rest cuz she was at the hospital the whole night. Probably from 11:30pm til 7am. OK so now we can all agree you're coming off a tad needy and clingy right from the get go. You had a great date, ended on a good note, she said she was going to plan date 2. Winds up going to the hospital for something, is now home recovering and caring for her kids. She hasn't messaged you back in what... a day? She has other priorities! Definitely over thinking, over analyzing, and trying to interpret every. single. little. thing. here. Relax. She knows where you are, and that you are interested in a second date. Give the woman 5 seconds to recover from whatever happened!!!!
Author hinatticus Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 OK so now we can all agree you're coming off a tad needy and clingy right from the get go. You had a great date, ended on a good note, she said she was going to plan date 2. Winds up going to the hospital for something, is now home recovering and caring for her kids. She hasn't messaged you back in what... a day? She has other priorities! Definitely over thinking, over analyzing, and trying to interpret every. single. little. thing. here. Relax. She knows where you are, and that you are interested in a second date. Give the woman 5 seconds to recover from whatever happened!!!! Hey I'm cool with no response for a day or even a week. This other girl I'm talking to hasn't responded in a week. Just got a message from her this morning. I know people get busy and whatnot. But the girl in question went from initiating texts every few hours to nothing for 3 days. The last thing I wanted to do was over think and over analyze. That's why I made a joke about trying to find out what caused this behavior. Anyway it's always good to get insight from total strangers.
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