Exposure

[Furious]

Thank you. I am not angry but I do try to use judgement. My pop used to say 'Use good judgement.' When is advising that being judgemental?

 

Sigh.

 

Most in this thread are long time, recognizable posters. All reasonably (if not more) intelligent. Am I typing it wrong? Am I doing a poor job of expressing myself? It would appear so. 'Exposing' isn't telling the OW/OM's spouse. That's common decency. It isn't telling close family and friends what happened or why a spouse is gone. Get real! Don't backtrack.

 

I've read the advice to expose three times this weekend. 'Tell everyone who will listen.' Circle the wagons, contact employers, parents, mutual friends, Santa Claus and the FBI. Tell the clerks at the local Carl's Jr.

 

I've made my point...or tried to. Time to let it go.

 

 

The first line in my opening post was "why all the pressure on a betrayed spouse about the risk of exposure to the other betrayed spouse."

 

 

Perhaps you read it differently but I was clear about my topic as to the betrayed spouse exposing the affair TO the other betrayed spouse.

 

 

Where in this thread have you seen a scorched earth exposure being advocated. It seems every poster here except you understood my question was about one betrayed spouse exposing to the other betrayed spouse.

 

I just don't get why you come in here being insulting to me and others and accusing people here with a lynch mob attitude.

 

There's really nothing in this thread to back your accusations as to promoting wide spread exposure. I would appreciate it if you would point out here in this thread where and by whom this was said.

[dreamingoftigers]

Here we go. Blaming the BS yet again.

 

Yeah well, we all know that there would be any bank robberies if there weren't any banks, right?

 

Or any car accidents if we still got around by horse & carriage.

[CantgetoveritNY]

Actually the most common reason for murder is infidelity....

 

But it's still very uncommon.

 

I understand that. But his premise is that a BS that exposes the A to another BS is going to then, bc they exposed the A to the other BS, that first BS will then be doing the killing. That's just absurd.

[Steadfast]

I just don't get why you come in here being insulting to me and others and accusing people here with a lynch mob attitude.

 

There's really nothing in this thread to back your accusations as to promoting wide spread exposure. I would appreciate it if you would point out here in this thread where and by whom this was said.

 

Not here. Honestly? I can't recall where, exactly. Maybe that invalidates my claim, but I'm not going to seek them out and post links. No time.

 

Infidelity and Separation-Divorce most likely.

 

Please accept my apologies for insults; real or perceived. I'd like you to know Furious, that I've advised many people who've made the mistake of aggressive exposure to reach a variety of goals. Most all unrealized.

 

This is a nail I hit pretty hard. It falls under my belief that life is 5% of what happens to us and 95% how we react to it.

[Furious]

Not here. Honestly? I can't recall where, exactly. Maybe that invalidates my claim, but I'm not going to seek them out and post links. No time.

 

Infidelity and Separation-Divorce most likely.

 

Please accept my apologies for insults; real or perceived. I'd like you to know Furious, that I've advised many people who've made the mistake of aggressive exposure to reach a variety of goals. Most all unrealized.

 

This is a nail I hit pretty hard. It falls under my belief that life is 5% of what happens to us and 95% how we react to it.

 

You came on my thread and accused me of stirring up trouble and you threw out all kinds of accusations which were unfounded. It seems you didn't actually read this thread and jumped to conclusions based on other threads and other forums.

 

Maybe you should take your own advice about the 95% of how you react to the 5% of what you experience. You jumped the gun here and have been very nasty to me as well as those who participated in this thread.

 

I'm not here to fight, I'm here to learn and become a better person.

 

Odd but it seems we're on the same page when it comes to wide spread exposure and your unfounded reaction was so unnecessary in this thread.

 

I accept your apology and understand that this topic is delicate and can trigger people.