USMCHokie Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Hence an easy way for a guy to win = don't be superficial. Many women appreciate a man who loves her intellect and personality the way she loves his. Makes him an instant keeper. Can you say that the same that an easy way for a girl to win = be superficial? Many men appreciate a woman who loves his looks, body, height, penis size, etc. the way he loves her body and beauty? Makes her an instant keeper? This is really just for intellectual debate. Nothing more.
Cutiepie1976 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Have you ever seen a rich guy who attracts a woman with money call the woman "shallow"? No, but he typically still insists on a prenup when things get serious. Isn't that at some level coming from the same place?!? ...she's shallow and just interested in my money fear?? Or see a good looking woman who attracts a man with her beauty call him "shallow"? YES!!! Absolutely. It's one of the most common gripes! Guys who see nothing and talk about nothing else but how beautiful and sexy you are. Of course you want to hear those things! Please don't stop. But jeez, please oh please point out something else every once in a while too. We bring a lot of other things to the table besides a knack for getting the mast to unfurl stiffly as if in a strong wind whenever we walk into a room. 1
Els Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Can you say that the same that an easy way for a girl to win = be superficial? Many men appreciate a woman who loves his looks, body, height, penis size, etc. the way he loves her body and beauty? Makes her an instant keeper? This is really just for intellectual debate. Nothing more. Hmmm... No, I don't think I've observed the reverse. That being said, I personally think the corollary to male superficiality is female superficiality. In that vein, I do think that many men appreciate a woman who loves him for his intellect and personality as opposed to his career, status, and income. 1
USMCHokie Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Shallow is when someone focuses on and gives high importance to traits which aren't essential to or have no effect on the essence of the person (who the person is). I am so much more than how I look. If a man dated me only because I'm hot, he would be shallow. Who defines this? You for everyone else? Or just you for you...? Does each individual determine what traits are associated with "shallowness"?
USMCHokie Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Hmmm... No, I don't think I've observed the reverse. That being said, I personally think the corollary to male superficiality is female superficiality. In that vein, I do think that many men appreciate a woman who loves him for his intellect and personality as opposed to his career, status, and income. What about his physical looks? Career, status, and income can almost be lumped together with intellect and personality, as those are generally all byproducts of one's personality and non-physical traits.
iris219 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Who defines this? You for everyone else? Or just you for you...? Does each individual determine what traits are associated with "shallowness"? I think society pretty much agrees. The way we look and the stuff we own don't say much about who we are as people. It's fine to want someone attractive who owns nice things, but if these are the most important criteria when choosing a mate, I think most would say that's superficial or shallow. Also, if one is willing to forgo trait most people value in others (kindness, integrity, intelligence, etc.), for attractiveness and/or money, that would be considered superficial or shallow. 1
Els Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 What about his physical looks? Career, status, and income can almost be lumped together with intellect and personality, as those are generally all byproducts of one's personality and non-physical traits. I've not seen men who prefer to be wanted for their looks compared to their intellect/personality, no. I don't personally lump career, status and income with personality.
USMCHokie Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 I think society pretty much agrees. The way we look and the stuff we own don't say much about who we are as people. It's fine to want someone attractive who owns nice things, but if these are the most important criteria when choosing a mate, I think most would say that's superficial or shallow. Also, if one is willing to forgo trait most people value in others (kindness, integrity, intelligence, etc.), for attractiveness and/or money, that would be considered superficial or shallow. Society also tends to be incredibly politically correct and strives to pander to the individual's sense of importance and value. It seems like those are conclusory statements that say nothing more than, "that's just the way it is"... Status and money are often nothing more than byproducts of non-physical traits. They themselves are not traits. If someone earned more money because they were intelligent, ambitious, and driven, would those be negatively seen? It's the reason why women chase after money. Because with money often comes a person who possesses many positive and desirable character traits. A woman who wants money could certainly be seen as a woman is nothing more than a woman who wants an easy way to find a driven, smart, and hardworking man. Just another way to look at it that flies in the face of what society dictates is the "right" way...
phineas Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) This isn't necessarily directed at you, but since you raised it, I'll quote you... Why are guys so focused on hair??? Or the size of their biceps??? Most women don't care! I can't tell you how many guys try to sell themselves by saying they have a full head of hair. Great! Do you bring anything else to the table besides functional hair follicles on the top of your head? That's nice and all, but I'm looking for a relationship, not something to grab on to while you go down on me. Really? A list that included: Height weight Build job income also & you choose hair & biceps to make your point? Pretty weak. Why not address the other points I made? I've been going bald since highschool & my arms are on the small side compared to most, I just have definition & look big because I wear clothes that fit. Since I do work out I am concerned about how big my muscles are. That's the point. But to be honest it's more a of guy thing for us men to compare lifts, size of arms ect. Like I said, because I have more definition I look bigger than guys who who don't lift even though they are bigger than me. I don't dwell too much on the women who do agree to meet me from OLD. So I certainly don't put much thought at all in those who ignore me or blow me off. I'm really only talking about OLD here where you are basically just a picture. Out in the real world things are more realistic. Edited March 31, 2013 by phineas
Author CryForNoOne Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 Well I met her Saturday and her body was fine. I'm definitely attracted to her physically and we had a lot to talk about. I did spend almost $100 on dinner but it was a great first date. We went for drinks afterwards, she bought, and the night ended with a simple but sweet kiss. She told me I was "such a gentleman". I have to admit right when she said that, the first thing that crossed my mind was this thread and felt a little guilt. I'm seeing her again and we already picked a spot on her side of town, but it's painfully going to be over 2 weeks. She says she's slammed with work deadlines then she has friends in town and they are going to Coachella. I can't help but think she or others I've met online are multi-dating because it seems quite normal to go a couple weeks between dates...
RedRobin Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 Well I met her Saturday and her body was fine. I'm definitely attracted to her physically and we had a lot to talk about. I did spend almost $100 on dinner but it was a great first date. We went for drinks afterwards, she bought, and the night ended with a simple but sweet kiss. She told me I was "such a gentleman". I have to admit right when she said that, the first thing that crossed my mind was this thread and felt a little guilt. I'm seeing her again and we already picked a spot on her side of town, but it's painfully going to be over 2 weeks. She says she's slammed with work deadlines then she has friends in town and they are going to Coachella. I can't help but think she or others I've met online are multi-dating because it seems quite normal to go a couple weeks between dates... No worries... I'm sure the awkward or embarrassed look on your face when she said that was all she needed to show that you aren't (a gentleman). Nice going, champ... Here's another thought about the 2+ weeks thing though.. not everyone is jumping into the sack ASAP... and yea, going 2+ weeks is a way to slow things down. You'll both have a chance to talk in between and get to know each other better.
kaylan Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 OP spends 100 bucks on a first meeting date, and this girl cant see him for 2 weeks? Ha...bet she bails on the second date. Why spend good cash on someone you barely know and may likely never see again...and whom you JUST met?
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