ali_g Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 So my gf is pretty good looking and before getting in a relationship with me had given her numbers to a few guys in clubs and parties... She seems really committed to me... is very affectionate... buys me gifts, etc. I **** her well and try to be affectionate too. We're also almost 100% honest with each other and very communicative. She absolutely LOVES attention. And I try to give it to her a lot, but sometimes get a bit overwhelmed and need sometime to myself. Now the thing that bothers me a bit is her chatting it up on the phone with a few of these guys that ask her out. She doesn't go out with them (has showed me the txt convos, when I told her I was bothered), but is a bit flirty, txts with smiles etc. Below is an example of her txts she showed me today with one of these guys. Him: Her: x party tonight? (note she invited me here and were going together) Him: probably you re coming for sure? Her: Yep bought my ticks Him: Didn't yet will get them now lol Her: u should. I'm still waiting for your bday drink Him: haha well you're going to be waiting for a long while . Im a good boy, no alcohol. maybe a soda? Her: Haha sure an oj will do it Him: Haha probably. Note that this guy has invited her out before (she's declined), so Im confused....
Star Gazer Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Is she declining and telling these guys she has a boyfriend? Or just declining? And what do you mean you're "almost 100% honest"? You can't partly honest. You either are, or aren't.
Author ali_g Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 Is she declining and telling these guys she has a boyfriend? Or just declining? And what do you mean you're "almost 100% honest"? You can't partly honest. You either are, or aren't. She met these guys before we were bf and gf, so at the time she just declined. Not sure if she told them she has a bf since then... probably not since their convos are just, come to X party - oh i can't. She says she knows how to treat guys to just make them understand it's "just friends". I have absolutely 0 problems with her hanging out with guy friends (even on 1on1 situations), but it bothers me that she is kind of txt-flirty (see txts above) and even that she is in contact with these guys when she knows that they want more than just friends from her. I meant we tell each other almost everything and I'm sure we're honest, but you never know.
veggirl Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 That convo was flirting. Your gf's need for attention and validation from men will be the death of your relationship. Why is she talking to guys who want to date her? It's totally disrespectful to you. She sounds very immature, with her constant need for attention. You'd be better off long term moving along because she is going to bring drama to your life and make you feel like you are the crazy one for not being cool with her blatantly flirting with guys who wanna date her.
Author ali_g Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 Met a girl, she who was younger still in and around "the scene" so she had a lot of "good time" friends (women and men) that were always calling, texting, inviting her to things and I'm sure guys were hitting on her too. We dated for a while, she wanted to pursue a relationship, I finally got there too and we entered into one. She stays over at my house one weekend and her "good time" friends where blowing up her phone all hours of the day and night. After being woken up in the middle of the night, I told her to make it stop or I would (By I would, she knew I would break up). Next day, we wake up she goes and does her thing... Shopping, getting her nails done, etc. and comes back with a new phone number. My GF was done with "the scene" and her "good time" friends. She wanted to be in a relationship with me doing "couples" things, spend time with her "real" friends and family, etc. She didn't even blink an eye, care or miss any of those idiots or things she could have attended. We were together over 3 years. My advice... Hand your GF the problem. You do not need to justify, explain, discuss, argue, sell, convince, rationalize, plead, beg, etc. why it's disrespectful, inconsiderate, rude, etc what she is doing. Just tell her you want it to stop. This isn't your problem to solve, it's your GF. In my case, I didn't tell my GF what she should do, how she could fix it, to contact this person or that person and tell them not call at 3 in the morning, etc. I just needed it to stop and I didn't care how she decided to do it. In my GF case, she decided a new phone number was easiest and best. My advice, hand your GF the problem and let her fix it. If she does, great. If she doesn't, I'd walk. Thanks, this is very good advice IMO. The thing is, it's not like the thing has blown out of proportion... but sure I'll have a talk with her. She's definitely shown improvement from "the scene" since we've been together (doesn't go party with her "hardcore party friends" anymore, likes to do more couple things, etc) so Im just thinking if this should be handled or if I should wait and see first. We've been in an R for 1 month.
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