teather Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 (edited) Hi all, New to the forum but need some advice Girlfriend of 6 months dumped me saying she doesn't want a relationship and is too wrapped up in her own life (heartbreaking but i'm bitter about it as well). She says I deserve somebody who appreciates me more and has more time for me etc etc (usual BS). Her parting words were: 'I dont think i was in love with you however i dont want to never see you again!' Now my question to the Love shack gurus is this. I maintained NC for a mere 2 weeks and she (the dumper) has now broken it, texting me like nothing has happened. I've had drunk texts asking to meet up (which she has later apologised for) reminders that my stuff is still at her house and random updates on her life.. I've been responding but feel like i'm just feeding her guilt and making her feel better. Obviously i am heartbroken as it came pretty much out of the blue (we had dinner out a few nights before the break up and all was fine..) but cant work out what she's upto? Does she just have guilt and want to remain friends or is it a case of 'miss him now he's gone?' syndrome. For example i got the following text out of the blue about her going to see a band we both like and had planned on seeing together in the future:- Her: 'i'm going see X in London tonight! xx' Why does she insist on contacting me and telling me these things? Do i just ignore her or play along like i'm excited for her? (deep down i am but i want to show her that it's not fair on me just to pretend like nothing has happened? She knows it's something we would have done would we have been together...... I get the feeling she just refuses to let me out her life? Is she missing me and wants to keep in touch? I just dont know Help guys! Edited March 28, 2013 by teather
Cogee Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Your 2 weeks of NC made her realize that she was losing influence over you so now she is trying to re-establish that she is meaningful to you to boost her self-image. Keep going NC and don't feed her ego or you will find it very hard to move on. 2
geegirl Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 It's an ego boost. She needs to know you're still on a leash for her. She acts like nothing happened because she is detached from you emotionally. She can be casual and treat contact as, just contact between two people that knew each other. It also helps her get the attention she needs. You on the other hand are emotional and view contact much differently. 2
McGriff Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 It's an ego boost. She needs to know you're still on a leash for her. She acts like nothing happened because she is detached from you emotionally. She can be casual and treat contact as, just contact between two people that knew each other. It also helps her get the attention she needs. You on the other hand are emotional and view contact much differently. ^^^^ that to a tee. Well said. I just went through the exact same thing. She's having her cake and eating it too. She gets to talk to you, but isn't bound by the relationship, so think about the possibilities...protect yourself, I'm telling you.
Damaged23 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 It's an ego boost. She needs to know you're still on a leash for her. She acts like nothing happened because she is detached from you emotionally. She can be casual and treat contact as, just contact between two people that knew each other. It also helps her get the attention she needs. You on the other hand are emotional and view contact much differently. Exactly!!! They like to show us they're still around. So, don't play her game. Like my friend tells me "silence is the best response to a fool"
TheFriend Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 I love your post liveandlearn:) that gives me a weird sense of peace reading that.F**K the exes who still keep us hoping and wishing with these texts. Y'all should all read my post. I think I received on of the most harmful calls you could possibly get from an ex this morning.titled"moated effed up thing ever"
na49 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Why is it that when I read such posts, it makes me want to puke all over myself. My bitchy ex never tried to contact me once the day after the breakup. Personally I would prefer getting drunk texts and a little bit of attention myself. But I guess I was fuccking the wrong woman - the kind who runs over someone and doesnt look back ever! I feel like ****ing roadkill No. You. Don't.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Why is it that when I read such posts, it makes me want to puke all over myself. My bitchy ex never tried to contact me once the day after the breakup. Personally I would prefer getting drunk texts and a little bit of attention myself. But I guess I was fuccking the wrong woman - the kind who runs over someone and doesnt look back ever! I feel like ****ing roadkill Trust me, you are lucky not to get such communication.
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