New2Love4Now Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 So I recently just deleted my Google+ account which my ex and I used to contact each other (LDR). We were the only ones in each others "circles" or friends list. Deleting my account deleted all my pictures and comments on her pictures. I deleted the whole google account associated with the email and this took any documents that I had shared with her (one of them being a birthday card I made) OK I did this because I wanted to get rid of all reminders of her... also to kill off any false hope I had. The problem is its been 2 months since the BU and of NC -_- I know how it's going to make me look but when I did it I was telling myself "why should it matter what someone who doesn't give a F about me thinks?" I thought it was going to help me move on...well now I can't stop thinking how bad this is gonna make me look... basically really vengeful and bitter 2 months down the line... Do I leave a short message saying that I did it for my own sake and not to spite her? This would make me look very pathetic. Do I just let it go? Then I'll look both pathetic and hateful and like a jerk. She really did nothing wrong and it would be ridiculous for me to try to get back at her in any way which is what it looks like.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Do I leave a short message saying that I did it for my own sake and not to spite her? This would make me look very pathetic. Do I just let it go? Then I'll look both pathetic and hateful and like a jerk. She really did nothing wrong and it would be ridiculous for me to try to get back at her in any way which is what it looks like. For what its worth, you're starting to look pathetic to me. Now, here's the lesson--who cares what I think, I'm not in your life. Can you see where I'm going with this? Just leave it all alone. 1
Author New2Love4Now Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 this is a very good point... so I guess I do care what you think haha. but you're right... I shouldn't care what she thinks and I'm not responsible for how she perceives anything I do
Cogee Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 It doesn't make you look bad at all. Reminders are painful, and they don't help us to move on. In the old days people would gather up all their reminders of an ex, put them in a box, and then either burn them or store them somewhere not to be seen. Deleting Google+ and other things is absolutely no different. What they think about it doesn't matter because you are doing what is best for yourself. I was honestly a little upset when my ex dumped me and immediately removed me from Facebook, but shortly after I felt "well, actually I was going to do that anyway so she saved me the trouble!" She probably felt she had to do it because she didn't want a reminder of me while she was with this new person. The initial shock will of course trigger an emotion but after that I think most people will accept that it is not unreasonable.
Author New2Love4Now Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 It doesn't make you look bad at all. Reminders are painful, and they don't help us to move on. In the old days people would gather up all their reminders of an ex, put them in a box, and then either burn them or store them somewhere not to be seen. Deleting Google+ and other things is absolutely no different. What they think about it doesn't matter because you are doing what is best for yourself. I was honestly a little upset when my ex dumped me and immediately removed me from Facebook, but shortly after I felt "well, actually I was going to do that anyway so she saved me the trouble!" She probably felt she had to do it because she didn't want a reminder of me while she was with this new person. The initial shock will of course trigger an emotion but after that I think most people will accept that it is not unreasonable. This is what I was thinking as well but the reason it bothers me is because it's been 2 months since the BU. It's not in the heat of the moment and we ended on not so good of terms so it looks like I'm still angry or bitter. I know I shouldn't care what she thinks of me but it bothers me that I'll be remembered like this. I know I just have to let it go...
Cogee Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 2 months after the breakup is nothing. A lot of people have their own healing schedules and do different things when they break up. Personally, I didn't really use Facebook for the first month after the breakup. When I found out that she was seeing someone else and there was some photos on Facebook I logged in to take a look. It was so painful not only because she was seeing someone else, but the person she was seeing was someone I recognized immediately. I waited a few days and decided I'd better remove every single memory of her off of my own Facebook. A month after that is when I decided to block her because I still had emotional attachment and wanted to use Facebook regularly, so it was the last thing I could do to help. Does that make me look like a bitter person? That two months after the breakup I decided to block her? No, it is something a sane individual would do in my circumstance. The same with yours. How she perceives it is her problem and if she asked me why I did it I'd tell her the truth: I do not want any reminders of her and want her completely gone from my life. 2
Author New2Love4Now Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 Thank you for your replies. If it were facebook I wouldn't be so worried but on Google+ it was just me and her as friends on there and its not like there would be any updates on her life. Just old pictures and comments from our RS. I kept logging back in there to look at them which is why I just deleted it all. I know someday she'll log in and it'll look like I went on some deleting rampage lol... comments, photos, our documents. We had a great relationship and I got pretty desperate and clingy when she broke up with me. She eventually ignored me and through a misunderstanding the last impression I left was one of bitterness. That was 2 months ago and what I just did recently (deleting everything) will reinforce that impression completely. I thought it would help me to move on because now there is no chance of us speaking ever again but it gave me a whole new set of worries. I know I'm overthinking all of this but I can't seem to find peace...
Cogee Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 You did exactly what you needed to do. It's exactly the same as my Facebook situation. You knew there was a temptation to look and that it would have a negative influence on your attempts to heal so you had to remove them. Even if it was only you two that used it what does it matter? People will often get rid of gifts or things that only had significance between each other because of the reminder it has. You obviously have regrets on how you handled the breakup and you are feeling as if this latest act is just piling onto your previous behaviour, but it's not. What you are doing is necessary to move on. 1
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