Author waterwoman Posted April 3, 2013 Author Posted April 3, 2013 WW i want to help you, i really do, six month affair is nothing, it is a mere drop in the ocean and she is pregnant isn't she, with her H's baby??,...... end of...... see the future. I just wish some BS would help me. NONE HAVE We are all here for help and helping each other as people in pain ultimately??? Hi Mon Cheri, thank you x How can I help you? Yes we are all in pain. LS has taught me no-one has a monopoly on that.
SidLyon Posted April 3, 2013 Posted April 3, 2013 ... I just wish some BS would help me. NONE HAVE We are all here for help and helping each other as people in pain ultimately??? I have done a search and cannot find a single thread started by you, asking for help from BS or anyone else. What help do you need, and why don't you start a thread asking for what you'd like? 4
analystfromhell Posted April 12, 2013 Posted April 12, 2013 (edited) Can't argue with that. Can I just clarify please You reconciled but then seperated 10 yrs later? We lost our first child early in our marriage- it was stillborn which she then attributed to me (not rationally). It wasn't her behaviour, it wasn't mine, it was just "because". For her, life is fate so there had to be a reason the child was stillborn and suggesting that she was the reason was far too painful so it had to be me. We tried counselling and she did, for a time, try to accept that some things just happen. The counselling and time allowed us to resume our relationship and it was relatively healthy. Grad school, work and eventually two awesome kids diverted our attention from the issues with our relationship for nearly a decade. After the kids were of middle school age she changed- she didn't want to work, continued the prolific spending and heading off to Ireland every summer, got very possessive of the kids and became very violent during arguments. I got resentful of her non-participation in earning, doing housework and only hanging around Irish people. These were all areas where we had been very compatible. She was clearly unhappy with herself and/or the partnership. I was also very unhappy and became an obsessive exercise freak and used my job as an excuse to overwork and travel. Very, very bad scene which eventually became intolerable to me and her so we went through a terrible divorce in which she took every path which increased conflict and drew that horrible process out. In the end, the lost child and her resentment entered every argument and was not something I could deal with as who would want to be even implicated in such a terrible tragedy? Edited April 12, 2013 by analystfromhell 1
Author waterwoman Posted April 13, 2013 Author Posted April 13, 2013 Sorry to read that analyst. Must have been tough on you both. The affair happened just after you lost the baby?
analystfromhell Posted April 15, 2013 Posted April 15, 2013 There was no affair in that marriage, my current wife had an EA in 2011 which we are still (technically) working through. I say technically as she hasn't actually been willing to talk about it so far. Unlike the typical situation, I often find myself being the "communicative" one and the female clamming up (this marriage) or (in the first marriage) loosing it temper wise. My point though was that some people just don't let go- of resentment, of anger, etc. If someone is unwilling to move on then the relationship can't move on either (IMHO). The right mix has so far alluded me:(
Recommended Posts