justinc87 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 (edited) I am going to spill my whole story here so bare with me... I have been talking to a woman from Kaliningrad, Russia for about 6 months now. I live in Texas. I am planning on asking her to be my girlfriend tonight. I have very strong feelings for her. She is so sweet and caring. I don't have any questions about our compatibility. She gets to where I don't hear from her for a few days at a time and I get frustrated about that but I do believe that she also has strong feelings for me as well. Maybe I am just being impatient, she is very busy and I realize she also has her daily difficulties just like everyone else. From my understanding, it's not common to discuss your difficulties in Russia so it could even be her following their customs? I have sent her a few android phones that she was able to get activated so that we could talk and text but she has not got her internet set up yet. I also realize that it may cost a bit to get 3g internet there so I'm trying not to rush that... Anyway... we have talked about her coming here and getting to know each other. She was denied a visitors visa, she said she was going to talk to an immigration lawyer? Anyone know anything about that?? I know that when she comes here on a visitors visa, we MAY decide to get married before she leaves, in this case we can apply for a change to a temporary green card. If I go there and marry her she will have to apply for a marriage based visa... I am a police officer so I'd prefer to do this the safest, yet quickest way. Can anyone offer me some information/encouragement on this? It's a difficult situation as I know many of you know personally! BTW - I don't plan on proposing as soon as we're together... I am just looking long term, I don't want to wait till the last minute figuring out details then have to wait a year or more because I did something wrong or at the wrong time. Edited March 28, 2013 by justinc87
cerridwen Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 (edited) I'm almost certain suddenly marrying you while she's here on a visitor's visa, is not allowed. I seem to recall a British-American couple who did this and the legal outcome was not good. Am I a million miles off? Have you checked the legalities of such an action? One resource for LDR couples exploring visa situations is visajourney.com. I've found it very helpful. Also, I encourage you to slow the pace and not use marriage as a remedy for the frustration you feel. It's tempting, I understand but there really is no substitute for time spent physically together. It's easy to project perfection onto the other person when we rarely--or never--see him/her living everyday life. Before deciding that you're completely compatible, spend as much time as you can together. LDRs are expensive endeavors what with travel costs, but so are divorces. Take more time. Edited March 28, 2013 by cerridwen 5
FitChick Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 You don't even know if she is misrepresenting herself. I've heard some stories about Russian brides. If she doesn't have a computer you haven't skyped and seen her "live." Don't make any snap decisions until she's spent time with you here AND you have spent time where she lives to see if she's been telling you the truth. You can't just marry someone and they become legal. If you got married here, she'd still have to return to Russia and wait weeks or months for the paperwork to go through. Homeland Security doesn't make it easy. I think there was a recent thread about someone being married to a foreigner, Filipina maybe. He was sending her money every month but she was stalling about moving. You could always tell her to go to Mexico and you'll meet her on the other side of the border. You can pretend to arrest her.
justwhoiam Posted April 2, 2013 Posted April 2, 2013 I have been talking to a woman from Kaliningrad, Russia for about 6 months now. I live in Texas. Ok. What does she do for a living? Does she live on her own? Does she have children? Have you asked all this? Based on the information you have, you can check on her at the nearest embassy. I guess they can help you out gathering information about this woman. Also, you can see if she has pics of her online. I am planning on asking her to be my girlfriend tonight. I guess I'm writing too late for this... I have sent her a few android phones A few? How come? Wasn't one enough? Are you aware she might have sold them away? She was denied a visitors visa Let me guess: she has no household and no assets. That's why she was denied traveling to the US? If she's under 25, she might ask for a student's visa, but I guess she needs to pass the TOEFL exam to study in the US. Her English might be good and she shouldn't have any problem passing the exam. I would discard the getting-married idea... for now. You're rushing things too much. You haven't even met her yet! And there are lots of russian scammers around. So watch out. Maybe she's the best woman all over the world, maybe not. Use your best judgement.
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