mauserman Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 I'm hoping some of you would share how you would deal with this situation. There is this girl that I work with, and she's very sweet and attractive but she has a young child (under 2). The other day I ran into her and she asked if it would be awkward if she could have my number. I was busy and completely taken off guard..and basically said no that wouldn't be awkward but I'll give it to you later... I know she can already tell I was shocked..but how do I tell her I'm not interested? Truth is I'm not ready for a relationship with a single mom..and that is why I'm not interested in her, just not at that stage in life at all. I don't know how/if I should tell her that...she was definitely asking for the number in a more than a friend type way. I just don't want to be a total jerk. Would it be ok to give her the number, but say that I just want to be honest and not string you along..your a great girl but I think its best if we just remained friends? Now I kind of know why girls make up bs excuses when turning guys down. Sometimes the truth can hurt. Thank you in advance for helping. You all have helped so much for my relationship issues!
todreaminblue Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 I'm hoping some of you would share how you would deal with this situation. There is this girl that I work with, and she's very sweet and attractive but she has a young child (under 2). The other day I ran into her and she asked if it would be awkward if she could have my number. I was busy and completely taken off guard..and basically said no that wouldn't be awkward but I'll give it to you later... I know she can already tell I was shocked..but how do I tell her I'm not interested? Truth is I'm not ready for a relationship with a single mom..and that is why I'm not interested in her, just not at that stage in life at all. I don't know how/if I should tell her that...she was definitely asking for the number in a more than a friend type way. I just don't want to be a total jerk. Would it be ok to give her the number, but say that I just want to be honest and not string you along..your a great girl but I think its best if we just remained friends? Now I kind of know why girls make up bs excuses when turning guys down. Sometimes the truth can hurt. Thank you in advance for helping. You all have helped so much for my relationship issues! How do you know she was acting in more than a friend type way?
Author mauserman Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 Well using the word awkward for one..it was like she was seeing if that would be ok. Plus her whole tone of voice and everything completely changed...like it really took her a lot of effort to ask for it. It seems like if she were just asking for my number it would have been real casual and easy.."hey can I have your number?"
todreaminblue Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Well using the word awkward for one..it was like she was seeing if that would be ok. Plus her whole tone of voice and everything completely changed...like it really took her a lot of effort to ask for it. It seems like if she were just asking for my number it would have been real casual and easy.."hey can I have your number?" yes it coudl be as you said it could also be she was feeling shy or having a bad day or struggling to make friends.....in that chain of thought or possibility....this might help you give her your number i fyou wish to be a friend and say something like....i dont think you can ever have too many friends glad to consider you as one.....if you dont want her even as a friend say........i dont really give my number out to people i dont know well sorry makes me a little uncomfortable....that way it doesnt single her out from a supposed group or make her feel you have specifically defined her in a no go zone...its what i say and do in regards to giving my number out...... if i am unsure of the emotive connotations behind the request...........i have had no bad results from either line....best wishes....deb 1
SilverInkheart99 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 I'm hoping some of you would share how you would deal with this situation. There is this girl that I work with, and she's very sweet and attractive but she has a young child (under 2). The other day I ran into her and she asked if it would be awkward if she could have my number. I was busy and completely taken off guard..and basically said no that wouldn't be awkward but I'll give it to you later... I know she can already tell I was shocked..but how do I tell her I'm not interested? Truth is I'm not ready for a relationship with a single mom..and that is why I'm not interested in her, just not at that stage in life at all. I don't know how/if I should tell her that...she was definitely asking for the number in a more than a friend type way. I just don't want to be a total jerk. Would it be ok to give her the number, but say that I just want to be honest and not string you along..your a great girl but I think its best if we just remained friends? Now I kind of know why girls make up bs excuses when turning guys down. Sometimes the truth can hurt. Thank you in advance for helping. You all have helped so much for my relationship issues! You sound like a decent person and to a single mom, you are probably a king in her eyes. So, yes I think you should tell her honestly why you aren't interested. I think you are 100% right that she likes you more than a friend! I am a single mom too and if a guy said to me honestly why he wasn't interested I would respect him so much. I actually had a guy tell me that he could never date me because he wants to start a family of his own. He said it in a respectful way and we are friends to this day. You could say it like this: If you are asking for my number because you are interested in more than friends, I gotta tell ya that I see you only as a friend. I think you are great, but I am not in a place in my life right now to date anyone with a kid. Hope this helps! 3
BitterSweet2k Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 holy...it's just a phone number...don't setup a breakup talk before anything happened at all...
Imported Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Have a girl come to your work and pick you up to go out to lunch or bring you your lunch and eat there being sure the girl you work with sees it. Or next time you are around her, talk about other women in a romantic manner. Friend zone her, ask her for her opinion on how you can be more attractive for a different girl you have interest in and...."omg, she touched her hair while talking with me, what do you think that means??????!!!!!????". Ask her stupid **** like that about other girls.
Treasa Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Either your response or SilverInkheart99's response would be perfect, and they both basically say the same thing, so go with whatever sounds most natural to you.
sabre80 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 You also have a built in excuse. Never fish in company waters. You could follow up with that you respect the professional relationship you have with her and to engage in anything more would be inappropriate. Now you just have to make sure you do not hook up with the blond mail clerk on the second floor 2 weeks later.
Author mauserman Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 Now you just have to make sure you do not hook up with the blond mail clerk on the second floor 2 weeks later. Yeah....I'm already in a sticky situation with that. So it's probably best I just be honest. Thanks for all the help!
sabre80 Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Yeah....I'm already in a sticky situation with that. So it's probably best I just be honest. Thanks for all the help! HAHAHA I figured something like that was possible.
iKING Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Here's how I would go about it. 1. Give her the number and say "I could always use a new friend." or something along those lines. Put fair emphasis on the friend part. It should disclaim that you're not interested in a relationship either with her, or just at this time. Explain that you're not interested beyond friendship just in case that's what she's thinking. You could also go with saying you don't want to give her the wrong impression as an addition. 2. If you're entirely against the idea, you could come up with a reasonable excuse as to why you don't give out your number. You could go with, "I don't like you so I don't want to give you my number", but that just seems to be too much, and would likely both hurt her feelings, and make things slightly awkward between you two. Overall, a new friend is always nice, and should you get to know her and decide later on that you would actually be interested in a relationship with her, that option will be there. As you said, she's sweet and attractive, the fact that she has a kid shouldn't completely discredit her as a prospective partner. It may not be something you're used to, but It's not all that bad. 1
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