cocorico Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 ok .. so I have been a little inspired by this Survey done by one Jan Halper about sucessful men and their lives, and so I am wondering about how many of your MM were men aged 40 +/- with great careers? The premise of this thread is faulty. It's not about men over 40 with a good job, it's about men over 40 successful in business. So no, I've not had any R with someone like that ever, not an A nor any other kind of R, so please remove my earlier inclusion of myself as I took the thread at face value instead of the true parameters.
Got it Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Have you any studies which shows the risks of these peoples? or is it more a personal impression? Really? I thought these groups were pretty common knowledge but I will dig you up some studies.
Got it Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 Here is one study that speaks in depth to police but also all the groups I mentioned. If I am not allowed to post links I apologize and I will delete immediately. http://digitalcommons.liberty.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1218&context=honors
Author Mrs.Dee Posted March 28, 2013 Author Posted March 28, 2013 (edited) Here is one study that speaks in depth to police but also all the groups I mentioned. If I am not allowed to post links I apologize and I will delete immediately. http://digitalcommons.liberty.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1218&context=honors I searced the document for "affair" and "cheating" but it didn't say anything about it, it only said that that kind of job could put stress on the marriage. Found alot on infidelity, but it is as I mentioned with the business men, in the document it says it stems from poorer spouse interaction, poor communication with spouse About divoce it said that the findings had been mixed, some studies finding higher rates than the average population, while other lower rates. Edited March 28, 2013 by Mrs.Dee
Catplates Posted March 28, 2013 Posted March 28, 2013 He was 65 with a dead end sales job... I was 61 with a professional career.
looking4mytyme Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 He just turned 60 and has a great career. I am almost 44 with a good career as well.
Mount Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 The MM is at 58, and myself is at late 30's. Yes apparently he has a very good job( ~$200,000/year)...:p:p:p:p:p:p and myself finally is very good too.
MissBee Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I find it interesting that all these people who say they can't help who they fall in love with and that they didn't mean for it to happen. Yet none of them accidentally fell in love with a 30 something year old minimum wage making ditch digger. :laugh: :laugh: Hilarious. 2
movingon45 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 He was 43 and I was 44 and we both have great careers. No promises. "On call" he said. He has a perfect family with great sex with the wife. I think I was just the one who got away so he just needed to finish the unfinished business from his youth. Same with me I think. Needed to know what it would be like to have sex with him. My marriage is great but no sex, so I'm the needy one.
Mount Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Ah just noticed I had typo there, I mean myself finanically very good too:p:p The MM is at 58, and myself is at late 30's. Yes apparently he has a very good job( ~$200,000/year)...:p:p:p:p:p:p and myself finally is very good too.
Summer Breeze Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I find it interesting that all these people who say they can't help who they fall in love with and that they didn't mean for it to happen. Yet none of them accidentally fell in love with a 30 something year old minimum wage making ditch digger. I've never even met a ditch digger. I did however have a long R with someone who was in a really low level position at the company he worked in but his priority was a charity he volunteered for. A lot of who you end up with, whether in an A or not, has to do with your exposure to specific groups of people. Hence I probably wouldn't fall for a ditch digger and unless the other man I referred to hadn't been involved in a charity I was involved in we probably wouldn't have met either. 1
stevie_23 Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Well, MY ex-MM didn't have a JOB at ALL for a long time during our A! lol And he WAS pretty much a ditch digger before that. Construction / landscaping. Hard manual labour. He was very intellectual and a deep thinker but his work never manifested that. He kept it for his spare time, writing songs and writing short stories. (just to confirm he wasn't some construction guy himbo or something, lol)
Got it Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I find it interesting that all these people who say they can't help who they fall in love with and that they didn't mean for it to happen. Yet none of them accidentally fell in love with a 30 something year old minimum wage making ditch digger. Really? If you look at what most of the posters/women are saying is that they were of equal status. So it isn't like there is a major jump in statuses. I didn't fall in love with the individual you suggested as my circle doesn't tend to encompass ditch diggers. How many ditch diggers do you know?
Got it Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Really? What part of it was supposed to be funny? The veiled insult that the women here are actually gold diggers, or . . . . ??? Enlightened me please. 5
Summer Breeze Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Oh please, It's funny, that's all. The implied insult didn't tickle my funny bone at all. 2
cocorico Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Exactly. Why would you look twice at a ditch digger who happened to be M, when a ditch digger who was S was not your normal R fodder? Seems bizarre. Surely the kind of partner you'd consider would be the same, whether they were S or M? 2
Lillyfree Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I meet people from all walks of life, so i don't see ditch diggers as somehow lesser than myself. The guy i fell for was able to challenge me, make me laugh... i didn't care what his occupation was or how much he earned. 4
cocorico Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 I meet people from all walks of life, so i don't see ditch diggers as somehow lesser than myself. The guy i fell for was able to challenge me, make me laugh... i didn't care what his occupation was or how much he earned. No one said anything about considering them lesser. But unless you have occasion to encounter one, you're not likely to rush out to find a married one to have an A with. People are far more likely to have an A with someone they encounter in the course of their normal lives if the A is "unintended", ie they did not specifically decide they wanted an A, and then set about looking for someone to fill that role. If they simply met someone, fell for them and commenced an A, it would be far more likely to be someone they would encounter "normally". Of course, if someone had decided they wanted an A, and then set out to find someone to fill that role, they may well prefer someone from outside of their "normal" circles in order to keep that part of their life separate - and that may involve someone in a different location, a different social circle, or the like. In which case, for those who don't encounter ditch diggers ordinarily, a ditch digger might be the perfect paramour.
Got it Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 There are lots of things posted that I don't find amusing that others do, so oh well. Paper, you said it was funny, I didn't understand, I asked you to explain. I was not debating whether it was funny, I was asking what was funny about it. So, what was funny about it?
Got it Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 No one said anything about considering them lesser. But unless you have occasion to encounter one, you're not likely to rush out to find a married one to have an A with. People are far more likely to have an A with someone they encounter in the course of their normal lives if the A is "unintended", ie they did not specifically decide they wanted an A, and then set about looking for someone to fill that role. If they simply met someone, fell for them and commenced an A, it would be far more likely to be someone they would encounter "normally". Of course, if someone had decided they wanted an A, and then set out to find someone to fill that role, they may well prefer someone from outside of their "normal" circles in order to keep that part of their life separate - and that may involve someone in a different location, a different social circle, or the like. In which case, for those who don't encounter ditch diggers ordinarily, a ditch digger might be the perfect paramour. Sorry, Coco is nicer than me. I am attracted to men who are in similar vocation as me, in a similar place in their career, and are equally ambitious. This is what I find attractive and challenging. My ex husband worked for the government, so he punched the clock. I didn't find that attractive as it was a job not a career. Good job, really good salary and bonus, but no direction, no challenge and no passion. I am a type A control freak overachiever, I am attracted to others of a similar mindset. While salary has little to do with it, I am looking for someone that is interested and passionate about their career. So there is nothing wrong with a ditchdigger but it would probably not be someone that I would have a romantic relationship with. Unless they were also the owner and were building their company. It is not about the job title and it isn't about the money because I make more than enough to support myself, it is whether the person sees it as a job or a career. I love my career, I love working. I want someone who understands the business travel, the long hours, the constant talking about the office. I work with my own family, we live and breath this place. I like it. I want someone else who is similar. 1
Author Mrs.Dee Posted March 29, 2013 Author Posted March 29, 2013 I know! I know!!! The idea that ditch diggers make minimum wage. Most "ditch diggers" in the US are actually illegal aliens being exploited for heavy labor at far less than minimum wage so that they can put food on the table for their families. In many other countries this is seen as a valuable job where the pay is actually quite good. It's unlikely that most women would be involved in an EMA with a ditch digger because after 12-15 hour days in the hot sun, for less that legal pay they probably don't have a lot of energy left. Actually I think ditch diggers who digged the ditch not with a machine would have a very good looking body wouln't they? Where I am from all ditched are digged with machines, but because all salaries over here are off the charts, they don't really earn so bad eigher hehe... just checked annual salary and its like USD $ 80 000 for ditch diggers ( by machine) over here. 1
cocorico Posted March 29, 2013 Posted March 29, 2013 Maybe you need to take an emotional step back from the thread and read it. A lot of the posts (not all) reads like, look at me I managed to score an illicit relationship with a grown up who makes a lot of money. If that doesn't explain it to you then oh well too bad. The fact that most of the posts on this thread clearly said, I'm also grown up, I also make a lot of money, all my Rs legit or otherwise are with my peers, appears to have passed you by, in that case. 3
Summer Breeze Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Maybe you need to take an emotional step back from the thread and read it. A lot of the posts (not all) reads like, look at me I managed to score an illicit relationship with a grown up who makes a lot of money. If that doesn't explain it to you then oh well too bad. I'm not sure but I would almost think it's you who needs to take an emotional step back from the thread. A question was asked and the posters have answered. If you go back and read the backstories of most of us you'll see all of it being backed up time and time again. We're not pulling our answers out of thin air. I don't know as any of us would use the term 'we scored' an illicit R. I think you'd see varying origins for our Rs but I haven't seen many who have 'scored' one. All of my Rs have been with grownups since I became one myself about 40 years ago. So I guess I'm left in the dark and it's 'oh well too bad' for me. I don't see anything funny in your needless, unwelcome, and semi insulting post. If you want to insult people be honest like some others -- don't hind behind veiled insults. Be a grown up and put it out there instead of trying to hide behind humor. Either that or just get funny coz right now I think people could be laughing at you but not for your humor. 4
Got it Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Maybe you need to take an emotional step back from the thread and read it. A lot of the posts (not all) reads like, look at me I managed to score an illicit relationship with a grown up who makes a lot of money. If that doesn't explain it to you then oh well too bad. Paper, I have no emotional attachment to this. I think maybe you need to step back and reread. No post is reading like that so I think you are projecting. Poor dear, maybe not the right forum for you. 1
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